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Boyfriend in denial with TTC

Jennyl1414Jennyl1414 member
edited May 2015 in Babies on the Brain
Hi everyone!

I'm a newbie here so please tell me if I'm posting in the wrong place! :/

Is anyone else's partner in denial about how soon you could possibly get caught? We both agreed it was time to come off BCP, however my boyfriend is certain it will take at least 6months... I understand it may take a while, but I think he needs to understand it could also happen sooner. I would hate for him to be disappointed! I've tried talking to him & he's completely in denial!

Any similar stories or advice anybody could give?

Thanks :) xx
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Re: Boyfriend in denial with TTC

  • lifeonthehilllifeonthehill member
    My H is on the opposite side. He thinks going off BC means that We will be having a baby next February. I am trying to help him understand it might take awhile so he isn't discouraged if it doesn't happen right away.

    I think you should just keep talking to him and hopefully he will start to realize the truth. Maybe show him this thread. If you are off BC I would hope he wouldn't be disappointed about a pregnancy at anytime.
    Anniversary
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    Love: March 2010  Marriage: July 2013  Debt Free: October 2014  TTC: April 2015
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  • penelope4612penelope4612 member
    My DH also thinks it will take like 6 months, but he'd be delighted with a baby sooner.  At least there will (hopefully) be less pressure as he's not expecting it to happen right away.  But I understand your concern.  I agree with PP, I'd keep bringing it up to see if you can figure out what's going on there.  Maybe he just doesn't want to get his hopes up?  But you may want to tell him that if he definitely is not going to be ready for you to be pregnant for 6 more months, then you guys should use condoms until he's ready, and see what he says to that.
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  • Jennyl1414Jennyl1414 member
    Thank you @alyssa32713 and @penelope4612 for your replies :)

    I think I may try to casually drop this into a conversation later and see how he reacts. I know agreeing to me coming off BC was a big step for him so I don't want to push him too much, especially as we've not long started trying.

    I guess if he thinks it will take a while then a lot of pressure is off, like you said. Or perhaps I should maybe change my way of thinking so I don't get my hopes up for it to happen soon? I hope it isn't this much hard work the entire time trying, my brain is frazzled already!
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  • FiancBFiancB member
    I think a lot of people have difficulty shaking the scare tactics used on us in high school sex ed where we basically learned that if we saw a penis, BAM! We'd be pregnant. 

    Have you guys watched The Great Sperm Race? I think that does a pretty good job of showing that it isn't so simple. Humans kinda suck at getting pregnant compared to other animals. 
    LFAF/Nov 16 challenge: Bad TV moms that shouldn't be celebrated


    BFP #1 10/30/15 MMC found 11/30/15 D&C 12/11/15 EDD 7/9/16
    healing comes in waves, and maybe today the wave hits the rocks and that’s ok, that’s ok, darling. you are still healing, you are still healing- Ijeoma Umebinyuo, be gentle with yourself
    BFP #2  3/21   EDD 11/28/16
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  • peppers1227peppers1227 member
    alyssa32713 said:

    My H is on the opposite side. He thinks going off BC means that We will be having a baby next February. I am trying to help him understand it might take awhile so he isn't discouraged if it doesn't happen right away.

    I think you should just keep talking to him and hopefully he will start to realize the truth. Maybe show him this thread. If you are off BC I would hope he wouldn't be disappointed about a pregnancy at anytime.

    My DH is on this end too. He doesn't seem to get it might not happen for a while. He thinks an April/May birthday is perfect and that would literally only be if we got PG the first 1-2 months trying. I think he thinks I am crazy for charting etc because he doesn't see it being necessary. I figure it increases our chances of timing sex correctly!
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  • tigerfish227tigerfish227 member
    It can take a healthy couple under 35 up to a year to conceive while actively trying. It could happen sooner but each month even with perfect conditions and timing you only have about a 20% chance. If you aren't truly ready to start actively TTC you should definitely consider another form of BC like condoms just to be safe.
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  • LoveIsOwlYouNeedLoveIsOwlYouNeed member
    It could take six months, or it could happen right away.  I got pg on my first cycle off BCP so, yeah...

    If you're going to "pull the goalie," you have to be ready for the potential results :)


          



              

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  • jfulcher0324jfulcher0324 member
    Hi!

    I came off BCP in mid March, had a period at the end of the month and am now 6wks3days. It can happen immediately, although we didn't expect it to happen quite so soon. :)
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  • DontMakeMeAdult0903DontMakeMeAdult0903 member
    Congratulations @jfulcher0324! 


    **Triggers**

    Me: 32  DH: 35  Married 10/4/14

    TTC  #1 May 2015 BFP: July 21, 2015  Stillborn January 8, 2016

    TTC #2 April 2016 BFP: June 17, 2016

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  • Jennyl1414Jennyl1414 member
    jfulcher0324 said:

    Hi!

    I came off BCP in mid March, had a period at the end of the month and am now 6wks3days. It can happen immediately, although we didn't expect it to happen quite so soon. :)

    Eeekk congratulations @jfulcher0324 !! That's amazing news!

    I've been away for a few days so only just catching up lol.

    I've spoke to the boyfriend and he said he is genuinely happy that we are trying and he can't wait for us to get pregnant :) The one thing he has said is he doesn't want me to let him know when I'm ovulating etc as he cant deal with the pressure, bless him! I'm in the process of the TWW now so fingers crossed! :) xx
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  • penelope4612penelope4612 member
    Jennyl1414 said:

    jfulcher0324 said:

    Hi!

    I came off BCP in mid March, had a period at the end of the month and am now 6wks3days. It can happen immediately, although we didn't expect it to happen quite so soon. :)

    Eeekk congratulations @jfulcher0324 !! That's amazing news!

    I've been away for a few days so only just catching up lol.

    I've spoke to the boyfriend and he said he is genuinely happy that we are trying and he can't wait for us to get pregnant :) The one thing he has said is he doesn't want me to let him know when I'm ovulating etc as he cant deal with the pressure, bless him! I'm in the process of the TWW now so fingers crossed! :) xx
    Glad it worked out and good luck!

    Congrats @jfulcher0324!
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  • missteacherlady16missteacherlady16 member
    Jennyl1414 said:

    Hi everyone!

    I'm a newbie here so please tell me if I'm posting in the wrong place! :/

    Is anyone else's partner in denial about how soon you could possibly get caught? We both agreed it was time to come off BCP, however my boyfriend is certain it will take at least 6months... I understand it may take a while, but I think he needs to understand it could also happen sooner. I would hate for him to be disappointed! I've tried talking to him & he's completely in denial!

    Any similar stories or advice anybody could give?

    Thanks :) xx

    Yeah, no.

    ...realistically, you both should go into this knowing that it could take up to a year. And that's perfectly normal.

    But honestly, if your bf is totally freaked out that you could get pregnant your first cycle off BCPs, then you should wait. 
    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
    TTC #1 - Nov '14
    BFP 2/3/16  EDD 10/16/16
    DS born 10/18

    LFAF: Frankly Disturbing
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  • jojo211jojo211 member
    For my husband and I, we got off the BC mid Sept and became pregnant late Oct.. Unfortunately, we had a miscarriage-- but, we tried again late Feb early Mar and now we are 11 weeks today..! So, you never know, could happen sooner rather than later.! Good luck.!
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  • Jennyl1414Jennyl1414 member
    edited May 2015
    Aww congratulations @jojo211 !! :) I love hearing other people's success stories!

    My BF has decided he wants one sooner rather than later now... Not quite sure what has changed his mind in the past 2weeks... Could be because we just found out our best friends are expecting!? :D either way though I'm happy he's on the same page now. Just watch it take ages to catch now knowing my luck! Haha.

    Wishing you a very enjoyable pregnancy! :)
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  • Xstatic3333Xstatic3333 member
    Glad it is working out! For us I am the more hesitant one, but seeing friends have kids has definitely made it seem more doable.
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  • amberrmariee20amberrmariee20 member
    edited June 2015
    I came off my birth control pill in August of 2014, we finally got pregnant in January 2015.. Took longer then I had expected ! due October 15, 2015 (: !!
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