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August 2015 Moms
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hormones, or justifiably angry?...Need opinions

johannaspisakjohannaspisak member
in August 2015 Moms
So, here's the background: I'm seven and a half months pregnant. My husband and I have taken in his 13 yr old sister (trust me, it was necessary). Due to this situation, the courts get to have officials do a home visit.

Now to the "event"...

I get the kids to school (13 yr old sil, and 8 yr old son). I then continue General tidying and laundry. Around 10:30, DH gets up (he works nights). Everything seems fine. I go to run an errand at Walgreens. When I return 25 min later, he decides he's going to "help". He does this by pulling large boxes out of large living room closets, tossing jackets down the hallway, diving things around the living room. All the while running an obscenity-strewn monologue about the dog fur under the tv counsel, wiring laying around(all his), and how I'm lazy because I had meant to organize some stuff in the closet but didn't get to it. He proceeded to then critique all the house work I generally do, along with some well chosen comments about how I needed to call his doctor regarding a script for an inhaler for him.

After about two hours of this, I finally lost it and started crying (I'm not a crier).

Overreacting?
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Re: hormones, or justifiably angry?...Need opinions

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  • kedbachkedbach member
    Nope, enough is enough by means of speaking! If he wants to help, help, but there's no need for all of that! I would be the same! I don't do well with being told what to do, or how to do something!
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  • EmEeGeeEmEeGee member
    My husband and I have somewhat of an unspoken rule... If you're going to complain about how the other one does something (ex: a household chore), do it yourself. Maybe this should be said aloud in your home. I'd be angry, too.

    I used to work nights and could be a super huge asshole if I didn't get much sleep after a shift. Here's to hoping maybe he was just extra tired/crabby and will apologize later.
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  • kat+1kat+1 member
    edited May 2015
    Your hubby needs to take on his own tasks and see them to the end. If he's going to start things he needs to finish them and not expect you to take on his extras. You were right to be up set.

    This was us last week hubby "cleaned" the spare room and he put everything in the hallway..... I was pissed when he said I needed to find a new home for this stuff. I lost it and yelled and cried this ended in me yelling "I am f@&$ing pregnant and your making extra work for me that I can't handle and won't do"

    He had this stupid look on his face and then moved it all to the basement. And apologized.

    Hide sight I was being a bitch and should have just calmly explained that I cant be cleaning all his mess and all the extra make work things he leaves as I am to tired and can't do the stairs more then once cause I feel like I am going to die.

    But my hubby was being a jerk.
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  • johannaspisakjohannaspisak member
    Now, due to using my cell, this thread seems to have double posted :(

    I've tried explaining to him that by the end of the day, I'm too damn tired for extra projects.

    I have never felt so unappreciated and dismissed in my life. I've tried the "of you don't like how I'm doing it, do it yourself"approach.

    We are in the middle of finding new digs (apartment way to small, and lease is up anyway). I know I'm tired and stressed out on top of hormones. I know the hormones are what had me in tears (normal reaction being something closer to "excuse me?").

    I don't know what's gotten in to him today, but he's being an absolute nightmare.
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  • kristendot2007kristendot2007 member
    Definetly not making excuses for him, and the advice I'm going to give you, I wish I would follow it more myslef!
    Maybe it is just my hubby, but sometimes I think he just likes to complain! Normally (if my hormones can stand it) I let him vent, and an hour later he is apologizing. If I try to "fix it" or justify whatever he is complaining about, it turns into an argument. So if this sounds anything like your situation, just let him vent. (Yes, it can be hard when you feel it's personal)
    Dh also works night. Last week he was on days and he was a different man. He is grumpier and easily snaps when on nights even if he is getting enough sleep. I'm a believer it's just not for everyone. I see a shift change in our future :)
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  • Kath1083Kath1083 member
    Not over reacting at all. Your dh sounds a lot like mine. He was so angry that when he was mowing the lawn I was shopping. I was grocery shopping after having lunch with my mother. He was also mad I didn't do my laundry which I couldn't because he had left his for two days. Yup it was gross. Anyways sometimes they have no idea what it's like to do all we need to do while growing a baby. It's exhausting.
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