How many days in day care is best?

gabiluci · May 2015

Hi everyone,

I'd love to hear your opinions on this.

Here in Belgium you pretty much have to look for day care even before conception. I am currently 12 weeks and contacting day cares to take care of my baby for two weekdays a week from March 2016 onwards. The other three days care is divided between my parents, me and my patners' partners.

A lot of the day cares are now replying they only do contracts for three days or more. I feel this is just more convenient organisationally, administratively and financially for them. However, some of them say this is better for the child to get used to the day care.

I wonder now whether that is true or not.. It would also mean the baby would have a hard time getting used to my parents or my partners' parents, since he/she will see them only once a week..?

I find it hard to believe, but it is making me feel guilty too.. I really want to start working 4 out of 5 days so I have one weekday with my baby and I think it's great if the baby can spend regular time with the grandparents, but now it almost seems like that's a bad idea?

What do you think?

Thanks for your thoughts!

-Gabi

VexyMommy · May 2015

Three days a week is probably the minimum the daycare center can hold a spot for a child and keep any profit margin. It makes sense because they are a business and could keep that spot for a child who would be there 5 days a week. It also helps them keep good full time teachers instead of part timers who may not have as much experience or know the children as well.

In regards to what is best for the baby, they may be correct that 3+ days at the center helps the baby get used to that routine better. I would guess a home based situation is all fairly similar from an infant's point of view no matter who the caretakers are whereas a center with multiple children would be quite different. It comes down to what you're most comfortable with. If you're not comfortable with your child there 3+ day a week and you have options, don't do it. Perhaps the money you save by not spending on those extra days could be used for a part time nanny who could come to your home 1 or 2 days a week.

JumpingJellyBeans06 · May 2015

I worked at a daycare/preschool in my area and we had a few babies that would do 2 days a week. One of the babies had a horrible time when he was there full time. His mom eventually went down to part time and we only had him 2 days a week. He was a much happier baby after that.

The daycare has an option that you would put in the days or how many days you would want and they would wait for another person to fill in the opposite days. It didn't take too long for her to get her request taken care of. This is a larger facility and they always have a waiting list of people wanting to get in. I would call around and see what your options are.

katmcgrath92 · May 2015

Our daycare offers three days a week (M, W, F), two days a week (T and Th), and full time.
Find a daycare that works for you and your family. Don't let them make you feel guilty about a decision you have made for your family. Best of luck!

gabiluci · May 2015

@jjr1214 thanks, you gave me confidence to trust my instinct. My partner will actually be very close by, 15 minute walk and he is working in education, meaning he is quite flexible and generally leaves work earlier than I do.

@VexyMommy I am not sure about the profit margin, as the prices are very government regulated, but it might as well be the case (what do I know about running a day care!). I would be comfortable with 3+ days, but I love the idea that the baby can be with family most of the week. I trust the professionals, I just think all the family involved will really enjoy it. I am also starting to consider the cost of a nanny. A day at day care costs about 26USD and you get 11 USD back from taxes. A nanny is probably more expensive, but it is worthwhile to look into it. Thanks!

@JumpingJellyBeans06 sounds good! I actually contacted 10 day cares and the one I feel best about did not mention it as a problem (yet), so I possibly that one will work out. Thank you!

VexyMommy · May 2015

gabiluci said:
@jjr1214 thanks, you gave me confidence to trust my instinct. My partner will actually be very close by, 15 minute walk and he is working in education, meaning he is quite flexible and generally leaves work earlier than I do.

@VexyMommy I am not sure about the profit margin, as the prices are very government regulated, but it might as well be the case (what do I know about running a day care!). I would be comfortable with 3+ days, but I love the idea that the baby can be with family most of the week. I trust the professionals, I just think all the family involved will really enjoy it. I am also starting to consider the cost of a nanny. A day at day care costs about 26USD and you get 11 USD back from taxes. A nanny is probably more expensive, but it is worthwhile to look into it. Thanks!

@JumpingJellyBeans06 sounds good! I actually contacted 10 day cares and the one I feel best about did not mention it as a problem (yet), so I possibly that one will work out. Thank you!

Ahh. I was thinking about the way things are run in the US where the government is not involved in pricing.

gabiluci · May 2015

@VexyMommy I am only finding these website with "prestigious" nannies for "leading" families haha

$$$

VexyMommy · May 2015

Do you have any local mother's groups? I know in the US sometimes mothers will nanny for other women a few days a week or have daycare in their house which is more flexible. I'm unfortunately ignorant of the way things are done in your country, but a group of local mothers would have great information for you on possible other ways to handle child care.

gabiluci · May 2015

There are host families, but I would prefer not to. Your tips are really helpful even though we are from different countries! You make me explore options that I would never consider or think of!

wedding crazed · May 2015

A lot of daycares around me won't take children under 1 for less than full-time at all for financial reasons. I don't see any problems with children there less than 3 days a week. One of my 3 children has problems being left anywhere and always has, but it doesn't matter how many days he's there each week or not. He is just a mommy's boy and doesn't like dropped off anywhere, more of a personality thing. Good luck in your search. Maybe you'd have better luck finding a nanny for 2 days a week?

jsawicki · May 2015

I would assume they would take this angle purely for financial benefit. A daycare is ofcorse wanting to make women feel that it is essential that the child get as much exposure to daycare as possible which ofcorse make some working moms feel better about their decision to work. The other side of the coin would obviously argue that the time spent with parents is irreplaceable and a child can get many kinds of exposure to social settings and other kids without daycare at all. So......do what you feel is best and forget the rest!

Elyse1384 · May 2015

In my area, a lot of the big daycare centers (chains) let you customize a schedule anywhere between 1 - 5 days. Obviously if you apply and they only have one spot left, they will probably take the family who is seeking full-time (5 days) care over you if you only need 1 or 2 days. Luckily, our center and the others we spoke with over a year ago are not "at capacity", so a lot of families have options. I imagine in areas where daycare is in high demand and spots are limited, the facility might be more apt to look for 3-5 day commitments.

My son goes 5 days a week, but has 2 classmates who go once or twice a week. They seem like they've adjusted just fine to daycare despite less time at the center than my son and the other full-time kids. My son's part-time "friends" (for as much as a group of 1 year olds can be friends) seem like happy babies who respond well to the teachers. Do what is best for your family at the end of the day. I'm certain something will work out.

kestes946 · May 2015

I would find a different daycare if you can that allows for less days per week. You'll want to spend as much time as you can with your baby as well as your family. I think the more time with family and mommy the better it is for baby and really for everyone!! Daycare can't love your baby like you and your family can. But if you really need to, and can't find another day care that will do less days then I guess you'll have to just go with it.

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