Turned 21

aavila18 · May 2015

today and I wasn't expecting alchohol at all for gifts, I'm fairly content that I'll have plenty of time to be able to celebrate later but I'm peeved that besides the 25 dollar gift card to a great restaurant I got maternity clothes.... One person got me one shirt another got me a pair of pants and someone bought me 4 article of clothing. Again. Very grateful, but does anyone understand where I come from?

shelbydd · May 2015

Sorry to say I really don't understand where you're coming from. You received gifts. That alone is something to be grateful for. My birthday was last Friday. I also received clothes.. I said thank you because honestly no one had to get me anything. I just thought it was nice I got things.

lillaura4unme · May 2015

Yep. I got clothes from my parents (really a shopping spree from motherhood maternity) and I was so grateful. Just like @shelbydd I don't expect anything so any gift is awesome. But there's an age difference. I'm 29.

louiser210591 · May 2015

I'm 24 on the 21st of May. I'll be 23 weeks and I don't want anything tbh, my partner bought me some of my favourite perfume but I'd be happy with just flowers

chelseajeanene · May 2015

I don't understand what the problem is? My bday was thanksgiving day this year and I received nothing because of the chaos for the holiday. Be greatful

hatchback4g · May 2015

I'm not positive what you are upset about... but honestly as you get older you get fewer gifts plus your pregnant all attention and gifts will soon to going to baby. For my 21st I don't remember getting any "gifts" my friends took me to dinner and paid for my tab which wasn't even that much since I'm not big drinker and my DH got me flowers and a card. My advice be thankful you got anything at all especially since maternity clothes are so expensive.

BeachBabe22 · May 2015

I don't understand what you're complaining about. You received presents for your birthday but they're not what you wanted? What were you expecting? I cannot remember the last time I exchanged birthday presents with anyone. Be grateful that your birthday was remembered and that people took the time to go out and buy you gifts.

Boobopgirl · May 2015

I mean....maternity clothes are expensive. I have very few non-hand-me-downs so I would be pretty happy if someone bought me brand new maternity anything. My birthday is in July and this year all I really want is grocery gift cards so hopefully someone gets me some.

thefuturemrsdaniel · May 2015

I understand you. I turned 21 in August before I had my first in Nov. My MIL got me maternity clothes which I was happy with cause I didn't have many but that was it. We closed on our house the day after my b day so we had no money to do a birthday anything but I get you. We dream about our 21st and then we don't get to get it because people think we are prego so we are a mom and need mom things haha I'll be 24 this year and again will be 9 months prego at that point. I just made my hubby promise that we will go celebrate my birthday and anniversary in downtown where I can eat, drink and dress up in December. Just plan a fun night after the baby is born

I get your disappointment though. Been there done that.

melewen · May 2015

I'm not sure what you were wanting... Bitcoin?

Peony1982 · May 2015

Nope, don't understand. Grown ups don't pout over birthday presents (or lack thereof).

chakawelch · May 2015

Maternity clothes are really expensive and they are a way to make you feel and look nice in clothes your size which means you can still use them to dress up and go to dinner. 21 is nothing, i was at work the day i turned 21. I get you are dissapointed now but when your baby comes you will realise that it is more important than going out drinking. Good luck

mybabynumber2 · May 2015

I think op is trying to say that she wanted something for 'her' as oppose to everything being pregnancy related. 21's
a milestone birthday in your life. I don't think op's being ungrateful at all. I get it.

I hit 30 whilst pregnant last time, I got nothing as in maternity clothes. I got some really really nice bathing toiletries, as I love to relax in a warm bath whilst pregnant. I got nice skin moisturisers etc. also some nice wine for after baby was born & a new iPod off hubby.

It'll be my birthday again whilst pregnant, I'll be 38, not expecting much, as it's not a 'milestone' birthday, don't get me wrong i wasn't expecting the world when I hit 30 lol.

It is nice just to get something for you, especially at 21, even a little keepsake.
My mum got me a beautiful diamond necklace, I was blown away, didn't expect it at all, that's my keepsake :-)

shaunnar053 · May 2015

My 22nd birthday was after I found out I was pregnant and I also went shopping at motherhood maternity for my present lol. My mom got me some bras and tanks (which I DESPERATELY needed). I could not be more thankful! My whole family went out with us to dinner too and it was soooo nice.

I think your emotions are a bit misplaced. Maybe your more upset because you wanted to have a day that wasn't JUST about the baby and was about you and your family before your life is changed forever?

But try to remember that the gifts came from a thoughtful place and the people who bought them for you probably thought that's what you'd want, since like pp's stated, maternity clothes are expensive! You're very lucky to have people who care about you enough to get you such thoughtful gifts :x

. Just try to hold onto that, it's a very special thing to have.

mamadeez · May 2015

It's a milestone birthday. One that people put expectations on well ahead of time. I don't think the OP is upset because of being ungrateful, I just think it was a heavy realization to have on your 21st birthday.

My baby will probably be born on my 25th birthday. That can be heavy and those feelings get misplaced here and there over silly stuff. It can be overwhelming.

KH7337 · May 2015

I don't understand either my husband always forgets a gift for me, so he makes up for it with dinner or a movie, or just doing something sweet. I would love to get maternity clothes for my birthday! But that's past and instead I got a quiet night home with my family and I'm thankful that I have that because I know that not everyone has that.

jessababyphoto · May 2015

I haven't gotten anything for my birthday in years. Usually just go out to dinner. I'd be stoked with new maternity clothes

adtaylor2015 · May 2015

I can't say I can relate. I would be extremely grateful that people remembered my birthday and were nice enough to buy me gifts. They didn't have to give you anything.

arndtellie · May 2015

I get where you're coming from, and I'm sure you are grateful and all that. But it may just be that your friends and family would have felt inconsiderate getting you something more "21". Just wait until after baby - I'm sure they'll be buying you drinks left and right. For now, though, just be grateful that you got gifts, and that your loved ones are at least trying to be considerate. (Y'know what I got for my birthday last year? PREGNANT. Trust me: the clothes are a great gift.)

berticus87 · May 2015

My 21st birthday consisted of me going out to dinner with my hubby (then bf). That was it and it was enough. I would be grateful for being remembered. Your friends clearly care about you enough to go out of their way to buy you something. My birthday was April 20th and when asked what I wanted I requested sheets for the crib or just cash to go buy baby clothes. Maybe it's because I'm already a mom and once I became a mom my priorities changed a lot but I would just be happy that you got anything.

aavila18 · May 2015

I don't think many of you get where I'm coming from. Some hit it on the head. I never at any point said I hated what I did get. I'm happy I was remembered and am super grateful for what I've been given including the maternity clothes. I've had birthdays been forgotten or had to plan it on my own birthdays because sometimes family had to work and I've never been upset. I'm not complaining at all. It's just a hard realization thing I believe comes from maturity that I feel I have been looking up for it to live up to its milestone hype. I'm not unrealistic and it's not like I don't realize how amazing this baby already is and I'm not selfish and saying why not me? Why can't I have a pity party because I deserve this. No I don't care about getting drunk with friends or anything like that. I've never been the person to look for that. I was trying to get at that my life is taking a detour and I know I'll have time to make up for this birthday but it's hard to have to grow up a little faster and have to put that part of my life as a young adult on hold. I was trying to see if anyone could relate to that. Looking for perspective. I'm not ungrateful, I'm very blessed and understand gods plan has something different for me. I won't apologize for feeling how I feel.

hatchback4g · May 2015

Your original post talked about presents and that was it. It said nothing about life changing directions so no I wouldn't have gotten any of that from your original post. It just sounded like you were disappointed your birthday wasn't this big deal or that you wished you had gotten different presents. I'm still not sure I understand but your feelings are your feelings and you don't have to apologize for them. But your first post certainly didn't give the impression you were trying to adjust to a new life plan.

KanishaT · May 2015

I turn 21 this October, and before I was pregnant I definitely expected to be going out and partying/having a good time. I obviously won't be able to do that this year, and I understand what you mean by having to mature and no longer live for yourself. SO's family wants to take me to Vegas for my birthday, and friends/family have volunteered to watch LO for me if I decided to go out and have a few drinks. I appreciate the efforts to try to make my 21st worth while, (previous birthdays I haven't received gifts/cake/ect) but I'd be just as happy staying home with my baby.

jizzypuff · May 2015

hatchback4g said:
Your original post talked about presents and that was it. It said nothing about life changing directions so no I wouldn't have gotten any of that from your original post. It just sounded like you were disappointed your birthday wasn't this big deal or that you wished you had gotten different presents. I'm still not sure I understand but your feelings are your feelings and you don't have to apologize for them. But your first post certainly didn't give the impression you were trying to adjust to a new life plan.

You definitely nailed how most of us saw this post on the head. I agree with everything you just said.

lillaura4unme · May 2015

@aavila18 ah I see what you mean now. No need to apologize for your feelings. Everything is so different and I understand that. I'm in my first year of a career I worked hard for and looked forward to our of state conferences and fellowships as part of my new job but I had to set aside all of those expectations at the moment. Sorry that my first comment focused on being grateful for the gifts. I have lots of friends who had baby at your age and have had the best of both worlds. Plan a belated 21st! I'm sure your friends will go along with it. ❤️

Boobopgirl · May 2015

I think from what you originally posted, it was hard to understand where you were coming from. Now I get it. It's the whole "reality check" aspect of it. Like, "Woah, this is way different than where I thought I'd be at 21." I feel ya now.

Katsahoy94 · May 2015

While I do see where you should be thankful for the gifts I do understand where your coming from, I will be 7months pregnant for my 21st birthday and the last thing i want is baby things or maternity things, I would be very thankful for the gifts I would like things for me.

Mufflerlove · May 2015

I got maternity clothes when I was pregnant near christmas one year. They're expensive so I didn't mind.

berticus87 · May 2015

I do understand why you're saying about the life change but that certainly didn't come across in your original post....especially when you said that your were "peeved" that besides a $25 gift card all you got was maternity clothes....

aavila18 said:
today and I wasn't expecting alchohol at all for gifts, I'm fairly content that I'll have plenty of time to be able to celebrate later but I'm peeved that besides the 25 dollar gift card to a great restaurant I got maternity clothes.... One person got me one shirt another got me a pair of pants and someone bought me 4 article of clothing. Again. Very grateful, but does anyone understand where I come from?

excited2bmommy09 · May 2015

Baby is a huge life change and I can understand where you're coming from saying you had a bit of a reality check on your birthday. Glad you updated because I did not get that from your original post. I personally wouldn't have handled being pregnant at 21 very well. I DID want my 21st to be a big thing when I was your age. My friends and I all turned 21 and the entire year was like a never ending party. However, I knew I didn't want a family at that point in my life and took great care to make sure it did not happen. When I was 21 my life was about me, myself and I. Now I'm 28 and ready for babies and family so my mindset is completely different. Life will never revolve around you ever again and that is a pretty big adjustment. Enjoy those maternity clothes! They are expensive lol

jennsuzanne87 · May 2015

There's a lot of pp's whose posts I could definitely echo. BUT- Happy 21st! It could be really fun to celebrate baby's birth and your age with a glass of champagne!

babyp350 · May 2015

Happy 21st! If I was there I would have given you a decorated wine glass and some sparkling grape juice!

Cheers!

satindawl83 · May 2015

Once you reach a certain point in your adulthood, gifts are all about utility. If you're childless or husband-less, you can push that point into your early 20s. But once you get married or pregnant...prepare to get towels and diapers!

sugarmagn0lia · May 2015

I don't want you to feel like you have to just sit there feeling bad for how you're feeling, but I do think that you should try to look positively on what you did receive. I turned 21 during this pregnancy as well. I didn't get gifts from many people, but especially after moving out/turning 18, I don't think it really makes sense to think you would. My birthday was in February, but my mom and dad visited and gave me a body pillow and a couple of maternity tops, even though I of course couldn't wear them yet - which I found so, so sweet. Honestly, from your post it seems like maybe you're more a bit disappointed that you didn't get to have the "classic 21st." If that's the case, I'm sorry you're feeling that way, and I hope that you can still look to the baby you're carrying and know that it is so worth it.

egest · May 2015

I'm sorry everyone is being so negative to you. Your feelings are valid and no one has the right to minimize them. 21 is a right of passage, a time for huge celebrations and wonderful parties!! You happen to be pregnant and won't be celebrating in the "normal" fashion and that's alright. 25 you'll just have to ring in with a BANG! I was pregnant with my first for my 30th bday. Everyone of my peers were taking weekend trips to wine country or having lavish parties... I had a lovely dinner with my husband and some beautiful flowers. Although I was extremely grateful and was just happy to be pregnant (we tried to conceive for a long time) I was still slightly disappointed that we couldn't do something bigger for my "dirty thirty". We have a right to feel the way we do and no one should ever criticize another for their feelings.

Turned 21

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