PSA from a soon to be third time mom to the soon to be seconds

cawleyva · May 2015

When I came home from the hospital with ds2 I looked down at my first born and didn't recognize him. Ds1 had overnight magically turned into a big kid and was no longer my baby. I don't know how the transformation happened but I thought it might have had something to do with the fact that he was almost 3 and was in fact not a baby but I talked to other moms and they all agree that the same thing happened to their first borns when the second came home.
So cuddle those "babies" extra hard the next few weeks because they are about to transform before your very eyes.

TBsquared · May 2015

Thanks!

sschwege · May 2015

I hope you don't mind me adding on something else about my experience going from a FTM to a STM. I was overcome with guilt when I came home from the hospital and felt a stronger connection to my first than my second. Looking back in my heart of hearts I know I loved them both the same, but I was just more bonded to my first I guess. That feeling quickly disappeared and now I couldn't pick a favorite even if I tried, they are both so different and so beautiful in their own ways. I really felt bad about that those first couple of weeks until I felt that same strong connection to DS. When I think about it, it's like DD and I had had 2 1/4 years together, one day I was handed a newborn and expected to feel that same level of bond immediately. It happened for me, just not over night.

My advice is give yourself a break, however you feel is how you feel.

ALITAYLOR23 · May 2015

sschwege said:
I hope you don't mind me adding on something else about my experience going from a FTM to a STM. I was overcome with guilt when I came home from the hospital and felt a stronger connection to my first than my second. Looking back in my heart of hearts I know I loved them both the same, but I was just more bonded to my first I guess. That feeling quickly disappeared and now I couldn't pick a favorite even if I tried, they are both so different and so beautiful in their own ways. I really felt bad about that those first couple of weeks until I felt that same strong connection to DS. When I think about it, it's like DD and I had had 2 1/4 years together, one day I was handed a newborn and expected to feel that same level of bond immediately. It happened for me, just not over night.

My advice is give yourself a break, however you feel is how you feel.

This is amazing. I fear I'm not gonna be able to love this baby as much as I love my first but I know I'll love them equally just for different reasons because they're going to be different babies !

lscarborough · May 2015

And now I'm crying....

stark01938209 · May 2015

Me too!

MommaAlyx · May 2015

This makes so much sense... And I got teary reading this too. I'm due tomorrow, and ithough I thought I was ready to bring home my second, I'm not.

katiebug66 · May 2015

I agree. It's like you have this stranger all the sudden but you quickly fall in love.

lola2bee · May 2015

Omg all the tears!!!!!

jeep1019 · May 2015

Crying here too!!

altarrose · May 2015

This is SO true. My four year old seemed like a giant, a whole different child, when we brought our second home.

NikkiCoCo921 · May 2015

I know, it's crazy to think my DD will be 5 soon and an only child for 3 more days! I'm excited to have a new baby, but also excited I get to do fun big kid things with first DD. The older she gets the more fun we have! She's going to be a great big sister. She will get extra hugs, kisses, and cuddling the next few days. She'll probably be a little annoyed, but I don't care!

cpage2211 · May 2015

cawleyva said:
When I came home from the hospital with ds2 I looked down at my first born and didn't recognize him. Ds1 had overnight magically turned into a big kid and was no longer my baby. I don't know how the transformation happened but I thought it might have had something to do with the fact that he was almost 3 and was in fact not a baby but I talked to other moms and they all agree that the same thing happened to their first borns when the second came home.
So cuddle those "babies" extra hard the next few weeks because they are about to transform before your very eyes.

Yes. This. This just happened. My oldest is 9 and I've always seen him as my baby. As soon as he walked in to meet his little brother on Monday, he just seemed....bigger.

MamaC1983 · May 2015

This is so true. You first baby is huge and looks like a stranger. The guilt mixed with post-partum hormones caused endless tears. I couldn't look at DS without sobbing. We are 3 weeks in and it's getting better but still different.

mothergoose4 · May 2015

Just had baby #2 and read your post a few weeks ago. I now know what you were talking about. I miss my baby. On to a new adventure! I have 2 beautiful healthy little babies at home and I can't wait to watch them grow together. Thank you for sharing your post.

jmorneau09 · May 2015

My big guy is 5 and I'm crying just thinking about how monday is going to change his whole world. Glad I'm not the only one crying in anticipation of this big change.

kristo04 · May 2015

I didn't realize other people felt this way. I was thinking how am I going to love the new baby as much as I love my first born but then I realize we had a long time to bond. It did not come over night with him either.

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