Gender Reveal

KiddFrank · May 2015

Hello- I am 15w 4d. My boyfriend and I went to a peek a boo clinic today to find out what the gender of our little munchkin will be. Anxiously waiting to hear.... ITS A GIRL. The technician happily announced that in fact it is not a girl, but instead a boy! I'm trying to keep a positive attitude and just be grateful for a healthy baby but I can't help the way that I feel. Both my boyfriend and I were hoping, praying wishing for a little girl. Has anyone else had any experiences like this? I know that God makes no mistakes but I admit, I am very disappointed today

TheRedHeather · May 2015

KiddFrank said:
Hello- I am 15w 4d. My boyfriend and I went to a peek a boo clinic today to find out what the gender of our little munchkin will be. Anxiously waiting to hear.... ITS A GIRL. The technician happily announced that in fact it is not a girl, but instead a boy! I'm trying to keep a positive attitude and just be grateful for a healthy baby but I can't help the way that I feel. Both my boyfriend and I were hoping, praying wishing for a little girl. Has anyone else had any experiences like this? I know that God makes no mistakes but I admit, I am very disappointed today

I have not, and posts like this make me very sad for the baby who is apparently the "unwanted" sex.

My biggest worry is that my baby is healthy. Not what sex organs they have.

ash413 · May 2015

Why are you disappointed? You have been told you have what appears to be a healthy baby boy, I see nothing disappointing about that. I do not understand why people get their hopes up or assume they are having one sex over the other, you have a 50/50 chance.
My DH and I took bets about what we thought it might be for fun but we were both so excited when the doctor told us it was a boy.
How is it fair to your child that you find him disappointing because he has the wrong parts between his legs...

QueenWaldorf · May 2015

KiddFrank said:
Hello- I am 15w 4d. My boyfriend and I went to a peek a boo clinic today to find out what the gender of our little munchkin will be. Anxiously waiting to hear.... ITS A GIRL. The technician happily announced that in fact it is not a girl, but instead a boy! I'm trying to keep a positive attitude and just be grateful for a healthy baby but I can't help the way that I feel. Both my boyfriend and I were hoping, praying wishing for a little girl. Has anyone else had any experiences like this? I know that God makes no mistakes but I admit, I am very disappointed today

I'm sorry I can't empathize with this as I have had 3 pregnancies and only one amazing baby boy to show for it.
Be grateful that God has blessed you with a healthy child.
Imagine having an ultrasound and waiting to hear a heartbeat and instead heard silence.
Very disappointed I don't understand. I understand wanting to have a certain sex in the future. I'd love a little girl someday but if it doesn't happen I will be happy with all boys or maybe just the one if that's the case.

tdavis1038 · May 2015

I cannot believe how mean people can be on here. Maybe she talked up having a girl so much that she just needs to wrap her around it? I have heard plenty of people say they were "disappointed" to find out the sex, or even cried when they found out but that doesn't mean that they didn't still love their baby. She said that she was trying to be positive and be grateful, why do you assume disappointment means unloved or unwanted?
Kiddfrank I think it is ok to have whatever feelings you have. You have six months to get used to the idea. Try to think about all the great things about having a boy. (I have two and believe me there are MANY things to love about being a mom to a little boy!)
And don't let anyone make you feel bad for being honest about your feelings.

LSRoo · May 2015

Ceridwen77 · May 2015

I cannot relate at all. I just want a healthy pregnancy and baby. I don't think having this opinion makes me "mean" either.

missemmawoodhouse · May 2015

tdavis1038 said:
I cannot believe how mean people can be on here. Maybe she talked up having a girl so much that she just needs to wrap her around it? I have heard plenty of people say they were "disappointed" to find out the sex, or even cried when they found out but that doesn't mean that they didn't still love their baby. She said that she was trying to be positive and be grateful, why do you assume disappointment means unloved or unwanted?
Kiddfrank I think it is ok to have whatever feelings you have. You have six months to get used to the idea. Try to think about all the great things about having a boy. (I have two and believe me there are MANY things to love about being a mom to a little boy!)
And don't let anyone make you feel bad for being honest about your feelings.

Oh, is this the UO thread, now?

rox7777 · May 2015

I just found out that I've having my second boy and I honestly thought it was a girl this time; however, I'm so excited to have another boy! Boys have such fun personalities and no matter what people say, they're fun to dress up. Enjoy what you're given, there are so many people wishing that they could have a healthy baby.

Edit: Words. They're hard.

Noey80 · May 2015

I find out on Tuesday. You took the words right out of my mouth. We are both praying for a girl...but think it's a boy. I'm going to be really happy for a healthy baby..but same as you I might feel a little disappointed.

kwaldy · May 2015

I vaguely understand where OP is coming from. Sometimes people just imagine how great it would be to have a specific sex, so they end up getting their hopes up. Me? I don't care as long as baby is healthy, and I halfway wish that DH would be patient enough to be team green. But that's beside the point. I've seen it a number of times where people are so convinced that they are having one sex, that when they find out they are having the opposite, they are completely surprised and it takes a while to wrap their heads around it.
OP, please be thankful that your baby is healthy. So many women don't get to know the blessing of giving birth to a healthy baby.

Sidenote: I think most people's problem with this post is that you said the word "disappointed" and that rubs people the wrong way.

LG812 · May 2015

Disappointment happens in life it's how you deal with it that matters. Take some time to let the news sink in and accept that you are having a boy and know that you will love him so much you won't be able to picture things being any other way. This is one of the very few things in life we do not have any control over. I don't think it's horrible that you feel disappointment briefly. You will get over that feeling soon enough and you will just feel love and excitement for your baby to be.

KiddFrank · May 2015

Thank you and ultimately that's the way that I feel. I know that my baby will be loved without a shadow of a doubt.

KiddFrank · May 2015

First of all. I never said that I "Didn't want" my baby. Of course I'll love him regardless of what my original expectations were. I think there are plenty of us who set expectations and are disappointed (it's apart of life). I didn't think the purpose of this discussion board was to be judged but instead to share your feelings with women who are dealing with similar issues. Thanks for all of your input but I'm not interested in the negative Nancy's. Now I see what people mean when they say they rather not share their stories on this discussion board.

gumby22c · May 2015

But why set an expectation on something that is obviously a 50/50 chance? At least in the case of a baby. I will never understand being disappointed over the sex not being what you thought/hoped for. After 5 years of infertiltiy, I'm just thankful to be pregnant and hoping for a healthy baby. I will be thrilled with either sex.

QueenWaldorf · May 2015

tdavis1038 said:
I cannot believe how mean people can be on here. Maybe she talked up having a girl so much that she just needs to wrap her around it? I have heard plenty of people say they were "disappointed" to find out the sex, or even cried when they found out but that doesn't mean that they didn't still love their baby. She said that she was trying to be positive and be grateful, why do you assume disappointment means unloved or unwanted?
Kiddfrank I think it is ok to have whatever feelings you have. You have six months to get used to the idea. Try to think about all the great things about having a boy. (I have two and believe me there are MANY things to love about being a mom to a little boy!)
And don't let anyone make you feel bad for being honest about your feelings.

I can't believe how careless people can be.
Why is it more acceptable to be disappointed in the gender of your child than being hateful for a healthy child?

kmd91 · May 2015

I can totally understand both sides of this. Yes, what really matters is that the baby is healthy. And I know it's hard for people who have struggled to conceive and dealt with loss to see people disappointed about the sex despite having a healthy baby. But at the same time, it's a very common thing to have that little letdown when you find out it wasn't the sex you were hoping for. People tend to not talk about it, because they generally know it sounds bad. But usually it's just a momentary disappointment, you wrap your head around having the opposite sex of what you envisioned and end up just as excited and in love as you would with your preferred sex. I don't think it makes someone a bad person to admit they had a preference that may lead to a few less than excited emotions.

KiddFrank · May 2015

If you don't have nothing positive to say.... You have every right to keep scrolling. No one ever said that my child wouldn't be loved. No one ever said I wasn't grateful for my baby. I said I was disappointed which I have every right to my feelings just as you have the right to feel how you feel. In my initial post I said I believe God makes no mistakes & without a doubt I know that this is a gift from God. All my life I was told I wouldn't be able to concieve so I know how the hurt feels..... That has absolutely nothing to do with me expecting or believing God for a girl. Thanks tho. Excuse me for not being as perfect as the rest of you

YummeeCookee · May 2015

OP, in your initial post you asked us if we ever experienced anything like this. YOU asked US. So please don't get so uppity if posters come in here and tell you "no" and that they think it's ridiculous to feel let down over hearing you have a healthy baby boy.

There is no rule saying people can only post on the thread if they agree with you.

emmybean123 · May 2015

I think it was unessesary to attack her and label her from that. I want a boy. I'm not finding out for a few more weeks, and I'll be thrilled in the end regardless. But I have (admittedly it's my own fault) referred to baby as he and him for a few weeks now, probably boosted by my husbands desire to have a son. It's hard to change a picture and was very hurtful of some women to voice their opinions in a bitchy sounding way. And to make a point- here would be how I would have typed it if my opinion was the same as yours.

Awh Hun, that's fantastic news though about your little boy! You'll get excited soon! Start buying some little boy clothes and planning a boys nursery. Let there be time to alter the picture in your head and in time you'll forget how you even pictured life without your mini-man running around! What matters in the long run is that he is healthy and has great parents. It might be hard to change the picture in your head at the moment but you'll find it hard to focus on the daughter you imagined in your little mans blue outfits :-)

For one I'm glad you posted this. It's totally normal feelings and doesn't make you any less of a mum! Just means you've spent a lot of time picturing what you thought the future would be like! I've done the same and I hope you don't take these negative comments seriously. I think you'll adjust soon and it will all be forgotten! Xx

Ceridwen77 · May 2015

emmybean123 said:
It's hard to change a picture and was very hurtful of some women to voice their opinions in a bitchy sounding way. And to make a point- here would be how I would have typed it if my opinion was the same as yours.

Awh Hun, that's fantastic news though about your little boy! You'll get excited soon! Start buying some little boy clothes and planning a boys nursery. Let there be time to alter the picture in your head and in time you'll forget how you even pictured life without your mini-man running around! What matters in the long run is that he is healthy and has great parents. It might be hard to change the picture in your head at the moment but you'll find it hard to focus on the daughter you imagined in your little mans blue outfits :-)

For one I'm glad you posted this. It's totally normal feelings and doesn't make you any less of a mum! Just means you've spent a lot of time picturing what you thought the future would be like! I've done the same and I hope you don't take these negative comments seriously. I think you'll adjust soon and it will all be forgotten! Xx

How do you know the opinions were voiced in a bitchy sounding way? Does this board have audio??

Also your example sounds phony. Some people don't like sugar coated advice. People aren't always going to tell you what you want to hear and lastly I cannot relate at all to your last paragraph and therefore would never say something like that.

TheRedHeather · May 2015

You may have every right to your feelings, but if you're going to post them publicly, we have every right to tell you how ridiculous they are.

Pontot31 · May 2015

TheRedHeather said:
You may have every right to your feelings, but if you're going to post them publicly, we have every right to tell you how ridiculous they are.

This.

There are moms on this board just hoping they get a take home baby and you come in and talk about be disappointed you have a healthy one of a certain sex?! Give me a break.

HungryRunner76 · May 2015

You open yourself up for criticism when you post this sort of thing on an Internet forum. You don't know what these women (who you supposedly are seeking support from) have been through. Miscarriages, infertility, stillbirths, etc. can be past experiences.
Some minor initial disappointment I can somewhat understand; however, the fact that you're still disappointed makes me judge you. Two years of infertility, fertility drugs & month after month of tears all to get pregnant the first time puts my children's genitals at the very very low end of what I care about for my child.

ash413 · May 2015

KiddFrank said:
If you don't have nothing positive to say.... You have every right to keep scrolling. No one ever said that my child wouldn't be loved. No one ever said I wasn't grateful for my baby. I said I was disappointed which I have every right to my feelings just as you have the right to feel how you feel. In my initial post I said I believe God makes no mistakes & without a doubt I know that this is a gift from God. All my life I was told I wouldn't be able to concieve so I know how the hurt feels..... That has absolutely nothing to do with me expecting or believing God for a girl. Thanks tho. Excuse me for not being as perfect as the rest of you

nice try, but you don't get to post a hot topic thread asking for opinions, and then get mad when no one agrees with you. That is not the way the Internet works (or life in general)

You have every right to your feelings...but I have every right to tell you your feelings are selfish.
I don't understand why people get their hopes up at all. Sex is determined at conception, you have a 50/50 chance. Just be patient and don't become attached to some idea or picture before finding out.

Kern91 · May 2015

With my first I had a girl and when I was pregnant with my second everything and I mean everything was so different. The foods I wanted, the way I looked it was crazy so I basically convinced myself I was having a boy plus we were set to only have two kids so I really wanted that boy.

So I had to find out at the anatomy scan what I was having and it turns out it was a girl. I felt down about it because I got my hopes up so much and really wanted my DH to have someone to relate to and have that bonding experience with. So yes I will admit I felt like crap for many reasons. Well that didn't last long though by the time I had the baby and got her special things so she didn't just have hand me downs it made it all better.

Now fast forward to now and we have an omg we are having another! Once again this one is totally different then my others but I'm thinking of not finding out the sex with this one. I didn't like the way I felt and how obsessed I got with old wives tales and getting my hopes up. Plus my DH is convinced it's another girl so that makes it tough because I know he would love a boy and I would feel bad all over again for him. Don't get me wrong here my DH has an amazing relationship with my girls and we will love whatever we have this time but sometimes u can't help emotions and what u think your family was going to turn out to be.

MargaretC5 · May 2015

With my first I wanted a girl. My sister had passed away 10 years ago and I always had wanted to honor her memory by naming a daughter after her. We had a boy. When I first found out the gender I was not overly excited but I warmed up to the idea pretty quickly. A PP mentioned getting boy clothes or designing a nursery, both are excellent ideas, I think they help just change the idea you probably had saved in your head for a while. I love my son would not change a thing.
With this one I do not have a preference either way. I would love a boy so my two boys could do all the boys things together growing up, but I also still want a girl.

And one last thing.... I think little boy clothes are way cuter than girl clothes, but I might be bias

jamiem522 · May 2015

Oh gosh! I can't stand when people say "all I want is a healthy baby" DUH! No one prays for a baby to be sick. Caring about the gender is a normal thing! Before I was pregnant we were "trying" for a boy but I really feel like I would know what to do with a girl (5 nieces, 1 nephew) so naturally my feelings lean more towards girl. I'll be happy either way but shocked as all get out if it's a boy because I really do feel like I'm carrying a girl.

loverofnaps · May 2015

I can understand the initial disappointment. I think as a woman having your first child be a boy you kind of feel like... how will I relate to him as he grows up? But, let me tell you, little boys live their mama! Me and my son have such a special bond. He likes to play rough and tough with daddy then I get his sweet, cuddly side. I can't wait to get him into sports and see him doing something he loves. And teaching him how to treat a lady! DH would love a girl this pregnancy (he has 2 boys and a.girl from his 1st marriage) but I'dhonestly be fine with either and think DS would love to have a little brother to wrestle around with.

kclilkim · May 2015

Well....I have 4 girls and we are praying for a health boy. If I have yet another girl, we can trade ok? Lol jk
But I do get how you feel....trust me! But it will all be ok. Little boys adore there mommies. I seen that with my mom and her son and I want what they had. My brother passed away when he was 12. So a son for us would mean so much to our family.
But if another girl is in my future.....I'll just have to be excited and think how fun shopping trips will be. And think positive, after 4 girls, would I know what to do with a boy? Hell yeah lol. Fishing trips, mud riding, camping, all the cool match box cars. Yeah ok, im so over the pink.

SarRes08 · May 2015

I think the OP is absolutely justified in having a few days of disappointment to process an unexpected result. There is nothing wrong with hoping for a specific gender; it has nothing to do with wanting a healthy baby or loving the baby you get. People are way too sensitive on here.

I know that I really want a girl. All of my friends have girls or are pregnant with girls and I think it would be fun to raise our daughters together. That doesn't mean I'll be unsatisfied with a boy or that I won't love my baby if it turns out I'm having a boy.

Peony1982 · May 2015

jamiem522 said:
Oh gosh! I can't stand when people say "all I want is a healthy baby" DUH! No one prays for a baby to be sick. Caring about the gender is a normal thing! Before I was pregnant we were "trying" for a boy but I really feel like I would know what to do with a girl (5 nieces, 1 nephew) so naturally my feelings lean more towards girl. I'll be happy either way but shocked as all get out if it's a boy because I really do feel like I'm carrying a girl.

Um, no. Caring so much about the sex of your baby that it makes you dissapointed if it's "wrong" is not normal. I did not "try" for a sex. That's impossible. I tried for a baby.

frasch21 · May 2015

My husband is really hoping we are going to have a boy. For me I don't have a preference, as most have said I just want a healthy baby. I do understand though how some people may hope for a certain sex and be a little bummed when they find out its the opposite. I fear my husband will have that moment if we find out its a girl. But I know he will love the baby no matter what sex it is. The only way this post would be offensive is if you said you didn't want a boy and we're going to give it up or something. I don't think there's anything wrong with being bummed out for a moment - as long as you will love the baby no matter what that's all that matters.

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