Work treatment/mom says I should switch jobs..don't know what to do!?

cario80 · May 2015

I am 9 weeks pregnant today with my 3rd child (my husband's first). I have been working at this small company since September last year and recently last month I was promoted to management. I told my boss, the business owner, right away when I found out we were expecting and she was less than thrilled. She treated me like I had acted irresponsibly and was asking me to evaluate my career and what I wanted etc. Since then she has seemed nicer after I assured her I need my job and like whay I do and plan on coming back. However things have iust felt different between us since then. She keeps saying (just this morning in fact) how she is worried about getting along without me over the holidays, our busiest time of year. I understand her concerns, but I feel like she is trying to make me feel bad!
My mom found a company that she thinks is a great opportunity for me with benefits and decent pay and is encouraging me to apply. I know it can't hurt to put in an application, but it makes me nervous to switch jobs while pregnant. I dunno if I am just being emotional and sensitive and stay put since I haven't been there that long, or if it would be good to look elsewhere. My bossnis a micro-manager. I can't do anything without her approval...not even send out an email to the staff I am supposedly managing. Then she gets upset when we ask her what to do instead of taking initiative. I know there isn't a perfect place to work and maybe no one will have advice. I just need opinions I guess and whether or not I should even take a chance on a new job at this time. So confused. ..:/

CMDD · May 2015

It sounds like you're leaning towards applying

Melissadmag · May 2015

I say take a chance at the new job, especially if your boss is already talking about the time without you there, then she is planning on you being gone anyway, whether it is for maternity leave or more permanently only she knows. She is harassing you for getting pregnant and that is an HR problem. I would look into this other job in a heartbeat and just make sure they know that you are pregnant when applying and know what you hope for maternity leave wise during the interview. If there's a chance for you to be happier, make more money, be more comfortable, and have a more understanding boss I don't see where there is anything holding you back from at least applying..

cario80 · May 2015

Thanks ladies..I did put my resume in. Pregnant or not it's always good to keep eyes open for better opportunities! You are right @Melissadmag she is harassing me, though we have no hr to go to. She is it pretty much. I will see what happens and keep you posted!

VesperLove · May 2015

Do what you need to do, but I second the PP in checking the maternity leave benefits before you accept anything. You don't want to end up somewhere that doesn't have the leave or benefits you're hoping for. Good luck to you.

cario80 · May 2015

Well we already pay for our own insurance and I will not have maternity leave, just unpaid time off. I feel like I have nothing to lose since I won't get paid time off anyways.

Melissadmag · May 2015

Good luck!

3JTMom · May 2015

I am sorry that your boss is not supportive of your choice to have a baby. It is such a wonderful thing. Congratulations by the way. I hope your job search goes well and that things work out!

#notautomatic-

memorylayne78 · May 2015

Good luck!

I'm in a somewhat similar boat. My boss is a fantastic lady, but I work as a toy retail merchandiser and Sept-Dec is the crazy busy time.

It's tough - some of the decisions we have to make for the sake of our families. I hope you find something fantastic for you.

ketobaby · May 2015

I would just becareful and make sure you will qualify for all leave benefits before jumping ship. Sorry your current boss is being this way ):

susiaustin · May 2015

My sisters boss when she was pregnant with my niece told her she should have an abortion.. Yeah she wins the worst boss in the world. Mine doesn't have kids but she's like a mommy to everyone. If it not a good environment for you its a good idea to look!

cario80 · May 2015

Thanks ladies...yeah it really outs a damper on things. Everyone else at work has been so supprtive so that helps. It's sad that I feel discrimination for being pregnant and by another woman makes it worse. She doesn't have children of her own, and chose not to. She also lost her mom at a young age so maybe she just has this deep issues about it. I have worked while pregnant with my other 2 and never felt this tyoe of discrimination from my superiors. I have no benefits through work now. Not even paid time off and I only make $11/hr. I feel I can find something better, but it's scary switching jobs especially while pregnant. Thanks for all your input you ladies are so awesome. I like getting all of your points of view!

kkyprianos2848 · May 2015

I am in such a similar situation as you. my husband and I moved back to my hometown in December, and so I started with a new company in January. we are 7 weeks 5 days pregnant, & I am kind of scared to tell my company, as it's a small fast paced business. Holidays are crazy busy for us too, and it looks like I'm due right after Christmas. Should be interesting! I do have a micromanaging boss where I have to to get her approval before sending emails too, it is crazy annoying! Good luck and best wishes!

Praying41 · May 2015

Wow I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm glad you decided to apply n I hope it goes well. First off, no one likes being micromanaged and second, no one should ever be harassed for being pregnant. That's against the law and you can have her sued for that. I was nervous bout telling my boss but got an amazing reaction n a huge hug. We are really busy between October through January but luckily the bulk of the work is done by thanksgiving. Having a baby is scary enough n you don't deserve such treatment.

TheThornBird · May 2015

cario80 said:
Not even paid time off and I only make $11/hr.

This pisses me off so much. She is telling you that you should be putting your job ahead of family AND ONLY PAYS YOU $11/HR?!?! The discrimination pregnant women face sometime is such B.S. Would an employer criticize someone for needing time off to undergo surgery? Can you imagine them telling someone to put off medical treatment until the busy season was over? Or that they should evaluate what is more important, their career or their health?

Sorry for the rant, I'm in protective mama bear mode, ha. Damn hormones.

Go for the other job, and put out applications at other places. This woman sounds like too much of a hassle to work for. I applied for several jobs after I found out I was pregnant, and most people were fine with it (if not downright excited for me!). I have no doubt you will find someone who understands your situation and will want to hire you and help you out. Most people are wonderful, there's just a few bad apples out there.

cario80 · May 2015

@TheThornBird you are so awesome! I think the wheels of fate are turning. Inwas having lunch with my parents today and it just so happened they were going to stop by the office of the place I put in my resume. My step.father is going to sign on to be one of their doctors and they thought it was a great opportunity to introduce me to them in person! Though I was dressed down I walked in and was greeted warmly and they took down my name to be sure the hiring manager saw my application. She said it is a great time to get into the company because they are expanding. Fingers crossed I get a call!!

Brooke2327 · May 2015

I'm also switching jobs while pregnant. I'm due dec 2 and have been a private nanny for a family the past 4 years. My current bosses attitude completely changed towards me when she found out I was pregnant and encouraged me to find a different position for this fall. I was worried any future employer would overlook me because of my pregnancy but that hasn't been the case at all. In August I'll be 6 months pregnant and starting at a new position (preschool teacher) but the directors of the school I will be working at have turned out to be completely supportive and are excited to have a new baby at the center.

cario80 · May 2015

@Brooke2327 that's great you found a new position where they are supprtive. It makes all the difference! It's hard to even want to go to work anymore while feeling this way. I used to really like my job and now I feel like the black sheep in her eyes. My hubby has been supprtive of this decision so hopefully things work out for me too. Thank you for sharing your good news...it gives me hope!

Brooke2327 · May 2015

Your so welcome. I hope everything works out in the best way for you!

Ka++Lo · May 2015

@cario80
I recommend not telling the new employer that you are pregnant during the application process. If you get an offer of employment, then you can tell them and essentially give them a chance to rescind the offer if it's going to be a problem. Any good employer will right then assure you that it won't be a problem.
That's what I did when starting a new job about a month before my wedding and week-long honeymoon. I felt (nearly) guilt free on my honeymoon.

cario80 · May 2015

Very good point @Ka++Lo ..I did not plan on telling right away if I did get a job. Thankfully I am not showing yet and I am not super thin so I can probably get through at least another couple of weeks. We do have a vacation already planned in July that's paid for so..that might be tricky, but we shall see!

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