Moms with 2 (or more) advice on adjusting to live with 2 kiddos

Re: Moms with 2 (or more) advice on adjusting to live with 2 kiddos

• OnWayto3 member

  May 2015

  First mistake I made was not including my first in the process of all-things-baby. My biggest piece of advice: Help your son feel like he's an important person in the life of the younger one. Have him rub your tummy and talk to Baby now; remind him how important his role is as a Big Brother. When Baby is born, give your older son a special Big Boy gift and let him give Baby a gift that he chooses. If you can help them establish some sort of connection, your life will be soooooo much easier!

  
  

  That said, most likely you'll be so responsive to Baby that your older one won't even realize the little person is waking up throughout the night. Try to keep your current routine consistent with tuck-ins, story time, whatever you usually do for your older guy. 

  
  

  I still remember the SHOCK I felt when I first saw my 2 1/2 year old in the hospital after having a newborn. He seemed SO BIG and almost foreign to me. I was overwhelmed. Looking back, I laugh at myself! Anyway, things will be good. Bumps, yes, but good overall. Take it one day at a time. Remember to laugh when all else fails. Laugh loud. 

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• balderasmama member

  May 2015

  I second everything @OnWayto3 said. This is #4 and I was most nervous about going from one to two. I always refer to the baby as our baby or your baby (the child's baby). Have them get diapers, help with bath time, pick out the outfit, etc. And I always make a point to tell the older child that being a big sibling is the MOST important job because they teach the baby how to crawl, walk, talk, and be kind. I also had the baby give the older sibling a gift at the hospital. It could be as simple as a stuffed animal or my sis in law even did a balloon. Also, the baby sleeps a lot so make sure you put them down when they are sleeping and focus on the older child.
  I was terrified about how #1 would handle sharing us with #2, but it went very smoothly and they are very close. It will be ok!

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• niknak1208 member

  May 2015

  It is an adjustment but you learn your routine quickly. I actually had an easier time adjusting to baby number two than to my first. DS was almost 4 when we had DD. The biggest issue we had was that he kind of took a step back and acted more baby like. He has already been potty trained for a year and he started having accidents again. That went on for about a month and then he was fine.
  
  I'm really nervous about kid #3 due in a couple of weeks. My biggest concern is that DD is only 2. She will be potty training, transitioning to a big girl room, and having a new baby in the house all around the same time.
  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

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• pixieprincss member

  May 2015 edited May 2015

  I had 2U2, so my experience was different, but I'll share that my policy was to allow DS1 to be as much as a baby as he still needed/wanted to be. That meant many cosleeping naps with the three of us together (me in the middle and on a safe bedsharing sleep surface), wearing him, diaper regression, etc. We just rolled with it because those things allows us to meet emotional needs that he didn't have the skills to express but was psychically expressing. We'll do the same thing this time, though now we'll have a 4.5 and 3 year age gap. Also, I read Siblings Without Rivalry and made sure that I was using helpful, healthy phrasing from the start. While the book is about older kids, the points do translate in terms of not comparing, not making things about "big" or "baby", letting each child be heard even when their version of 'fair' is very different than mine, etc.

  

  
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