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October 2015 Moms
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Will the loss of a parent affect a pregnancy?

gogobabyforugogobabyforu member
in October 2015 Moms
My dad was clinically diagnosed with ALS. It has come to the point that he is now on a ventilatior. Doctors have told us that we need to make a decision. They can put a trache or no trache and let him pass. My mom is afraid to tell the doctors no trache. She's worried that I might get sick and it may affect the baby.
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Re: Will the loss of a parent affect a pregnancy?

  • Birdee212Birdee212 member
    I'm so sorry that your family is currently going through such a difficult time. While his passing would cause you significant stress, it shouldn't hurt the baby or cause a miscarriage (if that is the concern). I know anecdotes aren't always helpful, but when my MIL was midway through her pregnancy with my husband, she lost her mother suddenly and went on to have a healthy third trimester and healthy baby.

    I'll be thinking of you, regardless of what decision is made.
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  • carleym93carleym93 member
    I'm lurking from August but I had to respond to you. I'm currently 28 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby girl, and I lost my father suddenly while I was 24 weeks pregnant. He had been battling cancer for about a year and he went in for chemo and died of kidney failure very quickly. I had to catch a flight up
    to Washington to say goodbye and then fly up again a couple weeks later for his service. I had the same concern during my initial grieving: how is this going to affect my baby? My doctors assured me that it won't. Babies are VERY resiliant in there. It will be hard and you will be very sad, but if you can manage your stress well it will really help you. I'm SO sorry you're going through this, as I know how difficult it is, especially while pregnant. If you ever want to talk, send me a PM. :)
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  • CocoR04CocoR04 member
    I have no advice, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this. A friend of mine is currently making his decision to have a trach or no trach and it is a very hard decision. Hugs to you.
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  • CupcakesandquiltsCupcakesandquilts member
    edited May 2015
    I'm just so sorry that you're in this situation. I can't imagine a more stressful thing to go through. Hugs to you...
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  • jnnfrrose6jnnfrrose6 member
    I'm lurking as well, but would like to share my experience. My FIL went into the hospital a month before I got pregnant for a broken hip. They then found he had pneumonia and couldn't do the hip replacement until he was better. Because he was essentially on bed rest from the hip, he was unable to move around, causing gastric issues that then began to impair his ability to eat. This impacts him for a month. We were finally able to turn a corner on that and he was sent to a rehab facility to get better so he could have the hip replacement. 3 months later his hip was replaced and he went back to the rehab facility for a couple of weeks. He then contracted c-diff and two weeks later died from sepsis. All of this occurred through the first half of my pregnancy. We were team green but chose to find out the sex so we could share the news with him. He passed 12 hours after we told him. Obviously I have a different relationship as he was my FIL, not my father, but I think it still resonates. Death is hard whether you are pregnant or not. Making a decision like your mother has to is not easy, but unless you have an underlying issue that would have caused you to become "sick" when you aren't pregnant, than I don't believe that should be a factor for your mother. I'm sure she's thinking that the stress from everything could cause the problem, but that shoul not be holding her back from making whatever decision she needs to make, either way.
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  • rue:Drue:D member
    It's always possible that the stress could make you sick, but like others have said - babies are pretty resilient so it shouldn't negatively affect the baby. Just take care of yourself, and if you're feeling too much stress and like you can't handle it, talk to your doctor about some medication that you could take for a bit. After my dad died, my mom, brother and I were all on meds for a bit - my brother and I because we were barely teenagers, and my mom because she needed to be able to take care of us while working through everything herself.

    I'm sorry you're going through this. Just do your best to take care of your baby and most importantly, yourself. If you are doing okay then your baby will be fine.
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  • alinic916alinic916 member
    So sorry! ALS is such a tough disease to watch!  Of course we are always told less stress is better for the baby, but some things can't be avoided.  There is such a small chance that the stress will affect your baby.  Either decision you make is going to be hard.  Just think about what is best for your father and what he would want.  I am an ICU nurse and see these situations every day.  It's never easy.  Will say a prayer for you and your family!
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  • rosebby7rosebby7 member
    My mother lost her mom when she was pregnant with me. I was born full term, and my mom named me after her❤️
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