June 2015 Moms

If your husband said you could pick the name...would you?

My husband and I can't agree on a middle name for our LO. We have agreed on Jaxon but the middle name is still up in the air. He likes David and I like Ryder. Last week he said it was my choice. I've had a rough pregnancy so he said pick whatever you want. Problem is I know he really doesn't care for Ryder. I don't know if I can name our child something my husband really doesn't care for. Would you name your child something that your partner didn't really like?

Re: If your husband said you could pick the name...would you?

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  • ksimo6ksimo6 member
    Yes. If he told me to pick, I would. My husband picked my daughters name. I love it now but was "eh" about it.
    • Married 6/1/2012
    • BFP #1 - 11/17/2012 -  MC 12/10/2012
    • BFP #2 - 2/12/2013 - EDD 10/17/2013 - DD Born 10/10/2013
    • BFP #3 - 1/29/2014 - Ectopic pregnancy discovered 1/31/2014
    • BFP #4 - 9/28/2014 - EDD 6/4/2015 - DS Born 5/31/2015


  • No, I couldn't do that to my DH. I picked the first name for our baby girl and really had another middle name in mind but he insisted on our mother's name of Gloria to honor both of them. His grandma's name is also Gloria.

    As much as I'd prefer something other than Gloria as the middle name, I conceded because I see his sweet reasoning behind the choice. Good luck to you!
  • He knows my choice is Ryder. But I feel guilty since I know it's not a name he's crazy about. He said if he totally hated it, he would tell me.
  • My SO told me recently that we can go with the middle name I want .... But now I feel bad since I don't hate his choice it was a mutual choice till I came up with one I liked better. Anyway the ball is in my court now lol and I don't know what to do. Go with the name we both like but I don't love or go with the one I love but I know he wasn't crazy about but now he says I can use it if I want .... Hmmm
  • Any thoughts on doing two middle names? I'm sure its not ideal, but maybe a solution if nothing else comes to mind by the time baby arrives.
  • mindaamindaa member
    First name, no way
    But mn, sure, why not. Not like he has to see/hear the mn every day.
    Me-37, DH-38
    Married in 2006, TTC #1 since Jan 2012

    Baby Boy born June 1, 2015

    He settles her in her home as a happy mother of children, praise the Lord! (Psalms 113:9)
    And the peace of God, which surpasses all understand, will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:7)

  • kbbtahkbbtah member
    Nope, couldn't do it.
  • I agree with @mindaa

    First name should be agreed upon. middle name not as big of a deal.
  • Haha yes! That totally happened. I was fully onboard with Adalyn for our first child and my DH was never feeling it. But after she came out I apparently looked up at him with big doe eyes and said "what should we name her?" And he caved. I remember asking but not the doe eyes haha. But now the name is perfect and he has told me I was totally right all along and loves her name. So yes, if he gives you the go ahead I say do it! I think sometimes they don't care as much as we imagine they do lol
  • With DD I always wanted Elizabeth but DH said no-he suggested the name and I grew to love it and now it fits her perfectly. For DS I had another name that I loved that DH was "meh" about but this past weekend he told me we could use it even though it's not his favorite but we don't really have anything else that we both like so I'm running with it! I say go for what you feel will work!
  • It's funny that SOA was brought up because we liked Jaxon Thomas. But my husband said it was the brothers on SOA so that was a no. He likes David because it's after his grandfather. My problem with David is his cousin has named all of her boys after grandpa and I don't want to "copy" her. The other reason is his family doesn't have anything to do with us. They never call or check in...nothing. I will send them pictures of our son (2yrs old) and we get no response. It's like they could careless. So I really don't want to name our child after his side of the family.
  • I wouldn't for a first name, but as pp's mentioned, a middle name isn't used that often. It sounds like your husband is trying to do something nice for you. He probably wouldn't have suggested it if he wasn't cool with it.
  • lzamaree said:

    It's funny that SOA was brought up because we liked Jaxon Thomas. But my husband said it was the brothers on SOA so that was a no. He likes David because it's after his grandfather. My problem with David is his cousin has named all of her boys after grandpa and I don't want to "copy" her. The other reason is his family doesn't have anything to do with us. They never call or check in...nothing. I will send them pictures of our son (2yrs old) and we get no response. It's like they could careless. So I really don't want to name our child after his side of the family.

    Is using your husband's middle name an option?
  • My husband has four names. Harrison Clinton humphreys then our last name. We used Harrison with our two yr old. So we talked about Clinton this time. Problem is, I think of Bill Clinton not my husband when I hear that name. I refuse to use Humphreys as a middle name. Lol
  • I wouldn't go with a name my husband does not like either but funnily enough Jaxon Thomas is the best of the three to me. Just a thought; if your husband's family kept in touch - would you mind going with David as a middle name? 

    I thought Bill Clinton before you even got to that sentence! So I agree that Clinton or Humphreys is a no go. For what it's worth, I do prefer David if it is absolutely down to David or Ryder. 
  • laurendutchlaurendutch member
    edited May 2015
    I wouldn't feel comfortable with picking a name that DH wasn't sold on. Is there any special names from your side?

    I know you didn't ask but I'm not a fan of Jaxon Ryder together, like PP said it sounds like two trendy names.
  • I picked Mia Isabella, my husband isn't really a fan of the names. So I ask him what he does like... But he won't decide. :-??
  • YES!! Take that shit and run with it.

    I just laughed out loud for real!
  • If he specifically said he really didn't like it, no. If he just said "eh not my favorite", yes.
    TTC: 1/2014 BFP: 9/24 EDD: 6/8/2015 Sorry for the poor man's siggy...ticker won't load regardless of how many tips I read.
  • Yes, because if he says you can pick the name, it probably means he doesn't care about the name as much as you and just wants you to be happy with it. As long as he doesn't hate it, it's ok and will probably grow on him. My husband said I could pick the name and explained he didn't want to "take responsibility for it" later on if our child didn't like the name. He also couldn't think of a name he liked better than my name choice, though I think he was not crazy about the name I picked right away. Now we are both on board with the name and call the fetus that often. No other name seems to fit. If your SO lets you pick, in a way you are doing him a favor by being decisive and taking that responsibility, so later no one can blame him for a name he insisted on. If he is looking at it like that, might as well take him up on it.
  • If you said he could choose would he choose the one you didn't favour of yes go with yours if he wouldn't do that to you maybe a compromise some how?!
  • Sammy KSammy K member
    Oh yeah! After DS was born, DH said I could pick the name, that was the least I deserved. We had it narrowed down to 2. With this one, he's already said I have final say. I could never pick a name he hated, but it's a nice gesture on his part. And ironically, both first names were suggested by DH and I found the mn.
  • We are team green, so this whole time I had the boy named picked out. He gets the girl name. I figured it was a 50/50 chance of it. But if my dh told me I could pick, I would. He hasn't been very decisive.
  • Hubby and I agree on girl names very easily - naming our first was a breeze - but we definitely don't see eye-to-eye on boy names, so when we found out we were having a boy this time around we both felt a little dread about the upcoming battle (lol).

    We ended up coming up with our name kind of by accident. I was sick of all my great choices ( B-) ) being vetoed so I started throwing out names I was sure he would hate and he latched onto one. At first I was reluctant to go with it because even though I love it I knew we would get some flak for it, but after losing our second (also a boy) I just couldn't bring myself to take away the happiness DH got from this name. So we slapped a name from my side of the family in the MN spot and now it just feels so right I can't imagine calling baby anything else :)
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