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help.baby won't go to sleep without mammy

da66yp2015da66yp2015 member
in Attachment Parenting
Our little one is 13 weeks.She is generally very good with me during the day, can feed, change, put her down for a nap. But around 8pm - 9pm when she is tired, she will only settle in mammys arms. When I get in from work around 8, she is in fine form but if I want a cuddle, she gets hysterical.She screams to the point of making herself sick. It really distressing for us all. I want to be able to put my little girl to sleep. I understand she has a bond with her mammy but I want to be able to help out. There will come a time when mammy won't be there to take her. Do we try and let her cry it out or something else?
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Re: help.baby won't go to sleep without mammy

  • h011yw00dh011yw00d member
    My 9 week old is kinda like this. He will let my husband hold him but he won't go to sleep at bed time with him. I even tried all three of us cuddling and nursing him to sleep then rolling away and leaving him cuddling with my husband but he will sleep for ten mins tops then wake up and realize he is not with me and scream (he sleeps cuddling me at night). I don't know how your baby is fed but I exclusively breast feed but he will take a bottle of pumped milk from dad if I'm not around. I left him one night with dad because I had something to do and wouldn't be back till 8-830 (baby's bedtime is 8). He took the bottle and passed out with his daddy that night and slept in his arms till 12. If you can bottle feed maybe your wife can take a bit and leave the house and see with her gone if it is still an issue. Of course you would need her to leave well before bedtime so your little one can get use to the fact mom isn't there before it gets to that time that she refuses to go to you. Maybe try on days you don't work so she realizes its OK to cuddle with daddy at night too. And don't take it hard it is all stages.
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  • BLH2014BLH2014 member
    I think you should give it some time.  It's very natural for babies to be very attached to their moms, and 13 weeks is VERY young.  I am against CIO personally, but even most proponents of it don't suggest trying it until the baby is 6 months. My baby (4 months old) isn't very attached to daddy at this point, and I personally am just waiting it out....all of my IRL friends (literally every single one) have told me things start getting better/easier for dad at around 6 months.

    BabyFetus Ticker

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  • da66yp2015da66yp2015 member
    Thanks for the replies.
    She is bottle fed so I feed as much as I can.
    We had a situation yesterday. Mammy was sick so I took the day off work to look after baby. We spent the day together, fed, napped, changed, even shopped :-) but again that last feed before bedtime it started. She fought with me on/off for nearly an hour. Mammy came in and she was asleep within a few minutes. I felt so helpless. I guess the crying it out didn't work. I know She's still very young. Hopefully it will improve in next few weeks. Just worried she'll become too dependent on mammy and bedtime will become a struggle when she's not around.

    Thanks again
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  • h011yw00dh011yw00d member
    I don't see it as CIO when you are there comforting her even if you know she will probably settle with mom. It is good that you got the day with her. Maybe at night moms arms are "just right" not that yours aren't good too it is just her routine and with time things will change! Good luck. I'm dealing with the opposite tonight. Daddy has been gone for work for a week and is home all day today. My ds has been clinging to him and of course being a perfect little baby for daddy. He was like I don't see what so hard.....thanks for making me look bad ds lol.
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