September 2015 Moms

Can I b!tch for a hot second??

I know this sounds super ungreatful, but I just need to vent. Was secretly looking forward to the idea of a Mother's Day gift today- even though I didn't ask for anything. Nothing big- even a mani pedi gift certificate would have been awesome. DD is only 3, so obviously this falls on DH. I always put so much time and effort into gifts for others and I made a huge brunch for his mom and grandma today! My "gift" was a bottle of sparkling grape juice. The thought was sweet, but clearly no thought went into this gift. We are huge wine drinkers and I've been missing wine so much. I've tried the NA and really don't care for it. He did bring a bottle of one of our favorite wines home for himself to enjoy, though! I think I'll treat myself to a prenatal massage this week and pretend it was a gift! :(( Ok. Done ranting. Lol.
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BFP#1: 6.21.11 - DD born 3.6.12
BFP#2: 10.27.13 - Chemical Pregnancy
BFP#3: 5.27.14 - EDD 2.6.15 - MMC diagnosed at 8w3d - D&C 7.7.14
BFP#4: 1.9.15 - EDD 9.21.15 -  Praying for a sticky bean!

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Re: Can I b!tch for a hot second??

  • At least he thought to get you something! He gets a A for effort!
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  • Tell me about it. I told DH I wanted breakfast in bed last night, and he was happy to say yes. I then told him I was kidding, but he said "no, I'm feeding you, so you can feed our baby. " I woke up this morning to take my vitamins, and he was up...playing video games....and didn't even say happy mothers day. Alls I know is he's gonna have to give me the BEST mothers day next year. We love them, we become enraged at them, we see how STUPID they can be, but, hey, we get over it. Who knows.. I could come home after I visit my mom to a grand dinner, and feel like a total asshat for being mad this morning...but I doubt it. Lol.... happy mothers day!
  • I can't relate to the gift stuff, but I relate to missing wine like crazy! I can't wait to have that first glass! So weird to think the next time I drink wine I'll have my very own baby. Wine lovers unite!
  • krose92krose92 member
    DH didn't do anything for me either, but I didn't expect it, and he happily helped me with my own momma's gift (cleaning and putting new tablecloths on her tables)!  Would it have been nice to get something? Yes.  But he takes care of me all the time, so I don't need extra today :)

    On the wine note:  AAAARRRRGGGGH!!!!! All I can think about is how much I miss wine! Even a sangria would be beautiful!
  • I'm sorry that you felt neglected by DH. That is SUPER frustrating, especially considering how much effort you put into his family.
    I find with my hubby I have to be really specific with my wants and needs, or else he honestly has zero idea (Haha is this a man thing?? I don't know). Anyways, I'll have to say something like, "Mother's Day is just around the corner, and I would really love if you could do something thoughtful for me." And then give a couple of ideas. I've had to do this with special events, birthdays, etc... And after a couple years my own DH has started to figure out that I like to celebrate holidays and what I expect.

    Mmmm I miss Sangria, especially with summer just around the corner...
  • I'm sorry you got let down by your hubby. I'm sure that is very frustrating especially when you put in so much effort to make the day special for others. I miss wine too! I actually had the weakest mimosa of all time yesterday at a wedding and was in Heaven lol. I wish I had some advice to help you put him on the right path for next year! My SO got me a lunch box for work (long back story to that one lol) and gave me the sweetest card that made me cry! I am a FTM so it felt really special being acknowledged as a mom this year even before baby is born. I think that meant more to me than anything that he looks at me as a mom already. I hope your DH figures it out before the next big holiday/event! Maybe a family member or friend can help point him in the right thoughtful direction :)
     
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  • Sorry girly :( I know how you feel. Not with this mother's day really (it's our first since losing my SO's mom, which was very difficult for both of us), but holidays in general. I'm a big celebrator and even day-to-day I like to go all out to make people I care about know that I care. I'm a random gifter haha. But my fella isn't so good at those things. He's kind of just a "typical man" about it, plus his upbringing made him pretty not holiday-y. Sometimes it gets very discouraging, and I find myself feeling pretty underappreciated. I just try to wait until I'm not emotional about it and approach it with him in a way that doesn't make him feel attacked (which is hard, because boy, is he sensitive about that stuff haha!). Maybe if you two have a mutual friend or if you're close to a MiL or SiL you could mention it to them and have them mention it to him? I think sometimes it takes our guys hearing how we *might* be feeling from somebody else to realize what's really up.

    Sorry for such a long post!
  • I just smiled at my hubby and said - it's all good babe! Just remember Mother's Day comes before Father's Day :) and told him he would be getting a high five in June.

    He seems to be of the mindset that until baby girl exits my body - that's when you start these holidays - which didn't terribly bother me as a FTM but I made a little bit of a stink because he didn't even say happy Mother's Day.

    I'm sorry you got grape juice :( and you have BEEN as mother for 3 years. That's crap.
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