May 2015 Moms

Suicidal...

I'm 40 + 6 weeks, I've been generally happier throughout pregnancy. The last week or so my mood has absolutely plummeted to rock bottom... If I walk into town I feel like EVERYONE hates me... I DONT fit in anywhere. I feel like my partner doesn't even want to be with me, feel like he's only staying because of our baby being born and will probably leave afterwards. He's really grumpy. And I'm finding it hard to even recognise my own families faces... I know who they are but can't link the face to the person :-'( I'm at rock bottom and having to deal with the fact I'm going to give birth soon which I'm terrified of as I'm sure most of you are too. It's all too much and obviously I wouldn't do anything to harm myself right now as it would also harm my baby.... But I'm so worried that when he's born it will all be too much and I'll slip back into self harming. I've never felt like this, I've never been so completely insecure and disgusted by myself, never been so depressed. I feel like there is no way out.. No way at all. And I might lose my partner because I don't feel he wants to be with me :-'(

Re: Suicidal...

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  • I am sorry you are dealing with these feelings; being pregnant and giving birth are both very stressful things. I really think you need to bring your feelings up to your doctor and work out a plan on how you're going to deal with your feeling now and after baby is here 

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  • know that they're are women for you to talk to on here! I'm sorry you're feeling that way. please talk to your doctor about this.
  • Please call your doctor asap! You are worth so much more than you will ever realize and you'll soon have a new little one that will love you and need you more than ever. You can do this, but you'll need help, and that's ok. Call your doctor!! Lots of love being sent your way!
  • odawgodawg member
    Here is to hoping you get the help you need and that it all goes away ones your lo is born! Hormones can be very overpowering. From someone who lost a very close relative to suicide i promise people love you. Some individuals just at times only focus on the bad and think that is our whole life. Its not. There is so much more to you and so many people that care for you then what is mentioned in this post.
  • I'm sorry you are going through this. It is a lot of change on our bodies and with our lives. Please talk to a professional Asap. They will help. I promise.
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    Franco Paul born 6/4/15 at 39 weeks.  Mila Francesca born 10/19/13 at 37 weeks.  Both born via C-Section after 6 years of fertility treatments, disappointments and losses. Love them!!

  • Please please please seek help.
  • You have done an incredible job of providing for your little one these last 10 months. That little guy needs you and is depending on you to stay strong and keep him safe. The minute you meet him, life will suddenly have a new added purpose. You are the only person in this world who can love him so completely. Don't give up, he needs and loves you so. Pregnancy is hard enough on its own, I am so sorry you have this to deal with as well. Stay strong and please talk about how you're feeling with a loved one or doctor. Praying for you, sweet girl!
  • ryemoryemo member
    As someone who has had severe PPD, you need to do more than call your doctor. My experience was that, when I asked for help, my doctor was extremely baffled and said I needed to find a psychiatrist (which was an overwhelming and expensive task). Tell your husband what you're feeling (show him this post) and have him go to the doctor with you. Demand to be seen TODAY and demand SSRIs (Zoloft is the first choice for BFing and very safe). Tell your husband not to let the doctor downplay what you're feeling.
  • Sending love your way. You're already an incredible mother, and other people's feelings about you, whether real or perceived, don't define who you are. That includes your partner. You're little one is counting on you to be a loving provider, and you're absolutely up to the task. Talk to your doctor and get the support you need. You're not alone is this.
  • Thank you all so much these posts really helped. I'm going to get some help and hopefully go onto some tablets before it spirals out of control. Thank you again, for being there and just for your advice in general it really shows there are a lot of kind selfless people in the world. Makes me smile that this many people who've never even met me have taken the time to write these. Thank you :) :x
  • hope you get it taken care of soon and hope your feeling better soon as well :)
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