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May 2015 Moms
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husbands ex vent

NavyMomma22NavyMomma22 member
in May 2015 Moms

I swear his ex is trying to ruin us in any way that she can. Im due on the 26th and docs are saying I might possibly go early which would perfectly fine with us since we cant wait to meet our little guy but its the fact that hes getting served court orders by his ex for MORE child support. He has a daughter with her and his ex doesnt want anything to do with her exept for the money that she gets in child support.  it just makes it worse is that we are stationed out in Cali and she is in Texas so he has to fly to Texas when he gets the court date and the courts there usually only give a few days notice at most a week but knowing her and her lawyer it will only be a few days notice...and plane tickets and car rentals and hotels are super expensive right now since itll be such short notice! :(

Its not the money issue or really the timing that has me so upset about everything its that he was cheated out of being a father to his daughter even when they were together and everything with our pregnancy has been firsts for him.  She never let him touch her tummy when his daughter kicked or go to the appointments.  she didnt even let him pick out anything for his daughter in general!  He wasnt in the room for the delivery, didnt get to cut the cord or anything, yes i know some moms prefer it that way but he wasnt a part of anything and she made sure of that.  Hes been cheated out of everything with his daughter and Ive been trying so hard to make sure that he has those firsts with his son :( Im not afraid of doing this alone because I have amazing neighbors that help us all the time its just i dont want her to steal this time away from him too...

sorry for it being so long its just got me so upset... 

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Re: husbands ex vent

  • marthaudanimarthaudani member
    It's likely that either he's had a pay increase or she has a decrease in her income and the child support needs to be adjusted. It is doubtful that she is being vindictive and trying to make it so that he has a court appearance around the time of your due date. It may just be bad timing or the speed at which the court system there does business.

    It's a little strange that she did not include him in those ways with their daughter. She may have had emotional issues or it could be a result of things that were going on in their relationship. I'm only speculating as I don't have any clue as to her behavior but I have a feeling that there is more to the story other than her being a weirdo.

    Good luck and try not to stress over it.
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  • NavyMomma22NavyMomma22 member
    saddly she really is that vindictive she told the courts originally when everything happened that she didnt want his daughter just the money...and she has the same job as before :/
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  • TBsquaredTBsquared member
    Can he not get an adjournment or hire a lawyer to appear in his behalf?

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • NavyMomma22NavyMomma22 member
    he had a lawyer with the original  case but we found out in the end that his lawyer was working "under the table" with hers so that she would get the better end of everything and he would lose.  we are looking at lawyers now but its just the fear that the same thing will happen again too. 
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  • marthaudanimarthaudani member
    That can't be right...both attorneys need to be reported to the bar association. That is straight up unethical. If this is true then it's messed up.
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  • NavyMomma22NavyMomma22 member
    we did but nothing came about it because they couldnt "find" solid evidence that it happened...
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  • MrsWhiteToBeMrsWhiteToBe member
    I don't have any advice I just wanted to say I was touched by how much you love your husband. It seems like fathers can sometimes be discarded like your DH's ex did to him, but kudos to you for doing what you can to keep him involved.

    Does she have custody of your step daughter? I'm assuming she does (although my dad raised me and because of a hiccup in the court system he was supporting me and paying my mom child support at the same time) maybe he can try to fight for custody since she has said she doesn't care about her daughter just the money.

    Your DH could probably appeal to push back any court dates by just telling them that you're due soon. I don't know about Texas or Cali but my state is pretty accommodating.
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  • TheEATheEA member
    So she said, in court, that she didn't care about the child but only the money?? Forgive me because I don't have any experience with child custody cases but why would she be awarded custody if she said that? Isn't that a huge red flag? Just sayin....
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  • tdart14tdart14 member
    Well, there is so much in this post that I call bull shit on...
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  • marthaudanimarthaudani member
    Did either of them get legal assistance from an attorney on base?
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  • MrsWhiteToBeMrsWhiteToBe member
    @TheEA some states or judges still uphold the ideas of the Tender Years Doctrine, even though it's considered unconstitutional. It automatically puts kids with the mother unless she is a danger to her children. That was how I lived with my mother, until she legally disowned me and my father had to literally buy me from her. My mom even said when they divorced that she thought he was the better parent and the judge stuck me with her anyway.
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