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May 2015 Moms
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Dr's and insurance Post rant

toddabunnytoddabunny member
in May 2015 Moms
Not everyone has Il the luxury of calling up there Dr I only have a number for the l&d to call when a emergency happens, my midwife I can call Monday to Friday between 8am till 9am, luckily though I've not needed to or needed to ask a question here, would be nice to see that the people get support not shot down when they ask a question, i know we're not doctors and every pregnancy is different but some people can just be so rude on there replies. We're all going though the same thing and may just want reassuring, sorry rant over
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Re: Dr's and insurance Post rant

  • saric83saric83 member
    I also was given a similar number with those kinds of hours, but in general, every insurance company I've been under has a 24-hr nurse line. That might be worth checking on to see if that's an option for you. Otherwise, I have contacted the same number for scheduling (during business hours), and they've always put me in direct contact with my doc or her nurse.
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  • Kye042Kye042 member
    I don't think people are trying to be rude, they just don't know the answer as all pregnancies are different and symptoms are different for every situation. And with a lot of us being FTM we don't always have an answer.

    I also do not have ANY access to my OB so whenever I have a question about symptoms and if I should come in L&D nurses are more than happy to answer my questions - they're a great resource to utilize if you're unsure if you should be concerned.
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  • soofttiesoofttie member
    Neither do I. The practice has a 24 hour "nurse line" I have to call. And she'll pass on anything that's an emergency. Both times I called though she told me to go to L&D.....

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

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  • LJ523LJ523 member
    scubakate said:

    MrsWhiteToBe said:

    I think most of the posters actually are reassuring. They just might not be as delicate as you want them to be.

    I don't think people are being rude because they ask a question here, I think some of us get annoyed when people ask a question WITHOUT trying to find an answer on their own first. My dr isn't 24/7 either, and I don't even have an l&d number to call in emergencies, (I got a booklet saying what to watch for and if any of it happens just go to the hospital) but if my body does something weird or unexpected I'll usually google it, or try to look it up in one of my books like What to Expect, or in a last case scenario I'll call my own mom or MIL and just ask if she knows anything about it. If I want to discuss a shared experience I'll come here and look for another post first, and if I don't find one in the past month or so I might start a new thread.

    I think that's what most of us do, but when a newbie panics and posts "OMG I HAD DIARRHEA AM I IN LABOR?" without even trying to look up one of the other 50 diarrhea posts, they clog up the board from otherwise interesting topics.

    And we are all mothers here too, so I think there's also a level of frustration that comes from the fact that we DO want to help the panicky FTM with diarrhea, but without adequate knowledge of the situation (I.e. Did this come out of nowhere or did you give in to your Taco Bell craving?) and with no medical expertise there is nothing we can to but sit there and hope that one day this woman can learn to help herself to the myriad of other, more reliable resources around her.

    There's also the fact that some of the posts are unnecessarily graphic or hyperbolized. Granted, we get desensitized to a lot of stuff that is pretty gross (I could write a book about things that grossed me out before I got pregnant that come up in daily conversation now) but generally if something comes out of you that isn't a baby, we don't need you to post pictures of it here. I could make a rainbow from stand-alone posts asking if the color of your discharge/mucus plug/breastmilk/poop is normal (it probably is). And again, most of us have no medical knowledge, and only a few of us might have experience, so you'd most likely be better off asking your dr (when you can) or asking dr Google. Rarely is a problem life threatening and your dr should have already made you aware of anything that could be, so it's not asking a lot for you to wait until your dr is available to ask them.

    And if you and your partner like to have freaky sex or bring other people into the bedroom, that's fine, but don't be surprised if people judge you. If you cheated or even slept with someone else with your SO's permission, and you don't know who the daddy is, you should keep that private among you, your SO, and possibly Maury Povich. Not that I don't love a juicy "Who is my baby daddy" story, but then I remember that you're a real person dealing with a life-changing issue and I feel like a bad person for treating it like a soap opera. Then I blame you for making me feel bad by posting personal issues in a public forum. And the cycle of Internet hate continues until you delete your post. Then I get sad because there's nothing else to gossip about.

    tl;dr
    People get mad/rude/snippy when the message boards are misused. It says in the fine print that this is here for Entertainment Purposes Only! And "This site and its content and any services provided therein are not intended to, and do not, constitute medical or healthcare advice or diagnosis..." We all should take a little more responsibility, whether it be for our understanding, our words, or our feelings.

    This needs to be pinned to the top of the board!
    Wouldn't make one bit of difference because the people who should read it are the people who ignore the "read me first posts" and the 48 hour block on posting after they make an account. What do you mean you want me to lurk and learn the way the app and boards work?!?!
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  • danibiidanibii member
    @MrsWhiteToBe you are a goddess =D>
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  • toddabunnytoddabunny member
    like I said I have not asked anything myself, just reading some comments on other posts and thought the OP was shot down pretty quick, We don't have insurance in the UK,
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  • hannahwilderrhannahwilderr member
    edited May 2015
    I get you. I've seen original posters shot down pretty quickly here, too. I mean, I get it. Some women want to hear feedback from REAL people and come to the Bump app for that reason, even though it seems more logical they would look on google first. And some women don't have the patience for them and try to moderate discussion boards themselves. "Call your doctor; we can't help you," comments galore. But after reading other Bump mamas' stories on the forum these 9 past months, I've seen how many women literally have no one to talk to- deadbeat husbands/SOs or absent mothers or even abusive MILs, etc. I hope snippy and impatient remarks haven't alienated those mamas more than they already are. If a post annoys you, just ignore it. It's not that hard. 
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  • MrsWhiteToBeMrsWhiteToBe member
    @daniellesiegel lol thanks but I wouldn't go that far!

    @toddabunny I'm not trying to discourage you or anyone else. I'm surprised no one has made a "Back in January..." Comment yet, but no one is getting shot down. Some people might make snarky comments but they're usually sandwiched in between comments from people who are trying to be helpful and nice. You just have to ignore them.

    Also having insurance like we do in the U.S. can actually be more of a hindrance than a help. The dr will say you need something done and your insurance will try to convince them to do something else because it's cheaper, even if it's less (or not) effective. My insurance has pulled a bait and switch on me a few times so far, where they'll tell me they'll pay for something and then later send me a bill for $1,000 because of some stipulation in the fine print.

    @hannahwilderr I get that there are isolated women here with no one else to talk to. That's why I joined myself! I'm the first in my family and social group to have kids. I have a weird relationship with my own mom and I don't always feel comfortable talking to her about maternity. I lost my job when I was 5 weeks along, and my DH works 12-14 hour days. So for the majority of my pregnancy my only sounding board was my cats. They're not very helpful. But eventually one of them got sick of me and suggested I join a message board.

    And I'm guilty of doing the same thing I complained about. My first post I panicked and I couldn't find the information I wanted fast enough so I posted something that had already been answered 100 times over. Some people were patient and nice, some not so much, but they still answered. Like I said before, we all need to be responsible for our feelings. It would be nice if no one was snarky, but they have a right to say what they want. It's up to us to decide whether or not to be a victim or to just say "Wow, what a jerk!" And move on.
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  • danibiidanibii member
    I just don't think it's too much to ask to search previous posts first... Usually the answer is already on here, many times over
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  • trishadobeltrishadobel member
    I totally understand that people don't want to be shot down when they ask a question. But it is probably in the best interest of the poster to get shot down. I promise that you do not want medical advice from someone like me, I teach 3rd grade. I am happy to offer information regarding teaching or curriculum. Medical advice regarding pregnancy at 35+ weeks is best left to a medical professional. I also have not seen rude responses, I see responses that are not what I would call sugar coated, but not anything I would deem to be flat our rude. Best of luck to everyone as we are all getting so close to being done!!!
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  • danibiidanibii member
    On that note, I teach HS math... Anyone need help solving for x? I gotchu!
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