F-1 student pregnant

Danie1304 · May 2015

Hello my name is Danielle. I just turned 19 and I am 12 weeks pregnant. At first I was terrified and wanted to get an abortion because I was thinking about my parents. Then I started thinking and told my mom. She almost cried but because we are Christians we decided to keep the baby. I fall more and more in love with my unborn baby I just can't wait to hold him in my arms. My father wants me to get an abortion or keep the baby, stop my studies and go back to my home country. I cannot do that. I want to convince my dad to let me stay here and study and keep studying. This baby is my motivation, every time I feel down, I just think of him/her and it makes me smile and continue. I am an F-1 student, can you give me some advices so that I can convince my father to let me stay here and continue my studies without having to kill my baby ?

Ceridwen77 · May 2015

You'll need an education to support your child. Your focus should be on your future and education is a key component of that. It may be difficult to convince your father depending on his cultural beliefs but I would stress to him that this is about you & your family's future. Good luck.

kimey1 · May 2015

Education is vital for you to provide for the child. Often times education allows you to get a more prestigious, better paying job, as long as you plan strategically.

Also once the baby is born it will be an american citizen and as the baby's guardian you will have a right to stay in the U.S. You could get legal advice with an attorney regarding your student visa status and how to stay here as the baby's guardian once the child is born.

VexyMommy · May 2015

I agree with what the previous posters have said 100%. I was very naive when I had my first daughter and was put in a similar position by my ex husband - abortion and school or baby and family. I chose to leave college and have my child. Leaving school was a poor choice that I regret more than anything else in my life. I (and my family) would be in a much better financial situation today had I finished school. I would be able to better support myself and my daughter had I finished.

In regards to your father, time heals all wounds and typically grandchildren heal them even faster. He will come around at some point.

Is your father your sole source of financial support at this time? Is the child's father in a position to help you? Depending on your state, you may be able to receive child support from the child's father to help support you and your child whether he chooses to help or not. I don't know if you are able to start that ball rolling before the birth of the child. I'm not sure what aid you would qualify for, but I think WIC does not have citizenship requirements. I would recommend you talk to someone in the international center at your school. You are not the first or last person to be in this position and they may have resources and ideas that are helpful to you.

Congratulations on your child.

elbou · May 2015

I can relate somewhat. I was 20 and in my 2nd year of college when I got pregnant with my first. I was terrified to tell my parents, because I knew it would let them down. However, abortion was not an option for me, and my parents ended up being very supportive. I dropped out of school and married my baby's father. I was very lucky with my situation.

However, I agree with the other ladies. Do your best to stay in school. It will be so helpful when your baby is here and you need to provide for him/her. VexyMommy gave you a great suggestion about talking to people at your school. Student Resource Centres are full of people who want to help out. I'm sure one of them will be able to point you in the right direction! Good luck, and congrats. Being a mom is worth the stress.

Danie1304 · May 2015

Thank you very much, you all gave me hope :>

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