Accidental gender reveal - 36 weeks

mishmardhiono · May 2015

Go to an appointment at our useless hospital to clarify alot of confusion, the lovely dr does a scan to check babies position, talking away and tells us the sex of the baby. 3 times in that appointment she asked if we knew, we said we didnt want to. But she accidently says the sex, then says oh you didnt know sorry and starts back tracking on whether its a boy or a girl. I HAVE WAITED 37 WEEKS ALREADY WOMAN, YOU JUST RUINED THE BIGGEST SUPRISE FOR US BECAUSE YOU DIDNT TAKE THE TIME TO LISTEN TO WHAT WE HAD SAID 3 TIMES. The only thing we had for a birth plan is that my husband was the one to check the sex and tell us and she just went ahead and ruined it. So I did the rational pregnant thing and just cried whilst she continues to tell us how old the US machine is and that gender reveals arent 100% in any case.

Ah Im so bummed out by this, so much more than what I thought I would be. I always wanted to know but my husband didnt so we stayed team green and I loved not knowing.

Do you complain about this or is it just something you let slide and hope on our next pregnancy we can have a suprise?

KarasTwin · May 2015

I would be super pissed. I don't know what complaining will accomplish but I'd still probably do it.

lilitaliangirl · May 2015

That's a bummer. IMO, I wouldn't bother complaining to the office. She knows she made a mistake by telling and I can't imagine her getting reprimanded over it, if she is otherwise a good tech. Hopefully, she will be more careful in the future.

dancegurl1118 · May 2015

I am SO sorry this happened to you. I know I know there are worse things in life but this was really important to you guys. I'm sorry.

Sammy K · May 2015

I would have cried too. I also would complain, but only because you told her 3 times and she clearly wasn't paying attention. Maybe if she is reprimanded next time she will listen to her patients. Or maybe I'm a hormonal b.

rklinge0 · May 2015

Sorry this happened. I almost had a slip up this week, but luckily the mfm didn't tell us. He was actually concerned that no one told us ( which was kind of cute, also 36 weeks along). You can complain but I am not sure what good that would do at this point.

mishmardhiono · May 2015

A blessing none the less and in months to come it's not going to be that big of a deal but grrr!! Just listen to your patients! We are pretending we don't know and haven't really discussed the gender so on the day it's going
To be just as exciting as not knowing and we can announce to everyone else as a suprise. Could be worse things to be told that's for sure

btm013 · May 2015

I am so sorry! We are team green too and I would have been devastated. I understand we would find out eventually but the excitement and anticipation Of not knowing is pretty special (not to say those who do know have it any less!!) I am the most impatient person so this is pretty big for me to not know. For a nurse who just wasn't listening ruin the surprise would have me in tears as well. I would complain to the office manager. (((Hugs))))

KaLikeAWind · May 2015

This really sucks. We're also team green and I would be really pissed and bummed out about having this be revealed this way. I don't know if I would call it a 'complaint' per se', but I would write a letter and detail how you had been looking forward to having hubby do the gender reveal, and you had told her 3 times already that you were waiting, and she spills the beans anyway. Take it from the point of view that you are disappointed that she didn't listen to her patient enough that 1) you felt you had to mention it 3 times and 2) she still told you anyway. Its not really a complaint, its more just what you told us - 'you know, this really sucks. Please next time with your future patients be more aware of what they are communicating to you and how you are communicating with them'. Kinda like a reply on a 'tell us how we can serve you better!' questionnaire, you know?

She probably does feel bad about her mistake, it wouldn't surprise me if it was one of those things that hung around and bothered her the rest of the day, and hopefully the incident has already made her promise to herself to be more aware of her patient's communications, but a well worded, gentle, non flaming reminder would probably help.

Again, so sorry this happened this happened to you. I would be pretty disappointed, too
Welcome to team whichever. Best wishes for a safe, and relatively quick and comfortable delivery

KonaCoffeeBean · May 2015

I'm sorry, that is such shit. I don't know if I would complain, because crying probably made a pretty strong impression on her.

mishmardhiono · May 2015

Thanks for joiining my pity party and not making me feel silly.

paige0704 · May 2015

Omg i would have flipped!! Im so sorry this happened to you but give you props for not freaking out on her!!

klkonwi · May 2015

I would be very upset. I love your plan of just pretending it didn't happen lol........ I could never do it but I like your enthusiasm and style !

virginiaunicorn11 · May 2015

Ugh, that is horrible!! I'm so sorry. Am also team green and have been waiting for this to happen. You are totally allowed to be upset by this. Try not to let it be too big a storm cloud for you if you can help it.

I don't see in your post whether the doctor expressed concern or regret at her mistake. If not, I would make sure to make it very clear, along the lines of a letter or something, both directly to her and cc'ing management. Along the lines of being concerned about her inability to respond to a patient's need after being expressed three freaking times! If she expressed regret, unfortunately I think it's just an awful human error. Again, so sorry - what a violation.

mishmardhiono · May 2015

She knew she messed up and just started back tracking that it could be a her or him.. It's not hard to listen, if your not listening then it's a concern because your my doctor not my beautician. You need to listen to what I say to make sure your doing the right things.

virginiaunicorn11 · May 2015

For me, knowing you messed up is different than expressing regret/apology. If you think she still owes you that, I would personally put it into a letter with the words you said - listening to you is her job. Big hugs, lady. What a bummer :-(

MrsRucinski85 · May 2015

Awe! I am so sorry!

We are team green and I couldn't imagine how upset I would be if my doc accidentally messed up and told me. I for sure would have cried!! I am sure (and hope) the doc felt horrible after telling you and probably felt like crap the rest of the day!

frenchchocolate611 · May 2015

Lurking from J14... I am so sorry that happened to you. We had a similar situation last year - we told the ultrasound tech we didn't know the sex and she gave us pictures which showed his boy parts anyway. I didn't notice until a few weeks later, but once I noticed, it was pretty clear what it was. I had also planned to have my husband announce the sex when my son was born and still held on to the fact that MAYBE I wasn't seeing what I thought I was in the pictures - but the doctor ignored that when he was born and told me it was boy before my husband even got to look. I was super disappointed so I know how you feel

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