I can't be the only one...

btm013 · May 2015

Please don’t laugh as I realize I’m about to have a human
being come out of my Hoo Haa but since my first trip to the gynecologist some
15 years ago, I have always tensed up during my yearly exams. Being pregnant is
no different –if anything it’s worse since I feel more sensitive down yonder. I
had my Strep B test and when the doctor came at me with two hands to spread
things open, I nearly jumped off the table. She laughed and said “I hope you
plan on getting an epidural.” Needless to say I declined getting checked to see
if I was dilated.

I get this is all part of the process but I can’t help the
uncomfortableness of being touched down there by someone other than my husband.
Plus, this isn’t my regular doctor – mine no longer delivers so I was swept
into the OB rotation. What are some ways you relax through exams? Please help
me get over this. Everyone says come labor you won’t care what happens. I’m hoping that’s my saving grace. Thanks everyone.

MrsCaliRN · May 2015

Be honest with your provider about your reservations. It's okay that it's your body and you don't like being touched in certain places. Your provider should understand that and keep unnecessary checks/inspection to a minimum. Also, I've had patients tell me that if I sort of narrate what I'm doing as I go along, that helps, too.

Other cliche advice:

Take deep, focused breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth

Hum a song silently and focus on that

Count the seconds mentally

Find a mental "happy place" and visualize yourself there, relaxed and comfortable

Alternate clenching and relaxing your jaw over and over

Make a mental shopping list

By the way, that whole comment about an epidural is BS. Your guarding your body has nothing to do with how you'll tolerate the pain and discomfort of labor.

btm013 · May 2015

Thank you so much for not making me feel crazy!! I will try all of those techniques next week. And yes I was taken aback by the epidural comment. I am going to try to go as long as I can without one and hopefully I can go natural. She made me feel like I was abnormal for clenching up. I think it would be more abnormal if I got in the table spread eagle saying "have at it!!! I love being here!!" Haha

HoosOnFirst · May 2015

I'm a FTM and I've been similarly anxious. The GSB swab and cervical check were painless but I freaked out in advance at just the thought. I'm not one to push drugs, but I did ask my doc about anxiety and he said he is able to give a low dose of anti-anxiety meds if I'm freaking out. Not sure if that might be something you could consider.

Knottie64157109 · May 2015

This is my second and I am right there with you. It's so awkward!

MaliKaela · May 2015

I absolutely, totally, 100% understand. I have serious anxiety about anyone being down there to the point where I almost panic. To be honest i've only been able to manage because I have the same doctor every time and I feel really comfortable with him. And even then I certainly don't like it. I can't stand nursers being in the room and they have to promise not to look!

I know it seems ridiculous as well, but we are all different and have all had experiences that may make us more or less comfortable about this. It is extremely personal and it kind of pisses me off that the doctor you saw laughed off your feelings.

If I were in your situation I would try to identify the doctor you are most comfortable with and insist on seeing him/her. You are going to be giving birth soon and people tell you, like they tell me, that you won't care about privacy once you are in labor. Well maybe they didn't care, but I am personally more concerned about the exposure than the pain. I have had this conversation with my doctor and he assured me I can have as few vaginal exams as possible and that he will keep me draped throughout the actual birth.

Your concerns really touched me and I hope you find someone who will take your feelings seriously. Good luck. : )

rsalata2015 · May 2015

I went into foster care when I was 11. They examined me and gave me a physical. The doctor touched me down there without even letting me know it was going to happen since I had never had a physical before. Soooo I definitely understand the anxiety and have it to this day. I had my first child natural and had random doctors coming and checking me often....baby was coming out and all that anxiety left. So hopefully that is your saying Grace as well.

henrytviii · May 2015

I was also the same way about exams, my legs would shake uncontrollably. I had my first without an epidural. Other than 2-3 cervical checks there wasn't much action down there until the pushing stage, at that point the doctor was right there for about an hour. And honestly any anxiety I held onto went away after a few minutes. I think you will be fine, and will not feel so uncomfortable about it during active labor. Don't let it be something that causes you extra anxiety in the meantime.

I also don't understand the epidural comment. Yes, you'd stay relaxed down there perhaps but wouldn't it be more miserable having someone examining you without the pain of the labor process to distract you?

klkonwi · May 2015

@btm013 I don't think you are alone.

I personally am scared for vag exams and I'm the one usually "handing" them out (pun intended) lol
So awkward either way. Esp since my doc I know on a personal level as well.

Picture me seeing some 90's cheesy song.... youuuu are not alooone. !!!!

btm013 · May 2015

haha @klkonwi I will definitely picture that. I just started studying hypnobirthing and I'm hoping to use some of those techniques for the birth. I'm happy I'm not the only one who feels this way about exams. But it sounds like those who have gone through labor/delivery did fantastic!! I will draw strength from you!

jessieR358 · May 2015

I've done many pelvic exams and I just remember that when I'm having them done, it's no big deal to my doctor just like its no big deal when I perform them on patients! it makes me feel a little less uncomfortable, but I think it's just natural to feel that way.

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