I get to go wedding dress shopping with my MIL today. I don't know if I'm excited about this or not. She is SO damn picky. And asks "Do you like this on me?" 1,0000 times (with the same outfit) lol. Should be interesting. I'll probably have a vent later
I found out my dad is expecting a baby with his wife (that is 4 years older than me). I wanted to barf everywhere. Their baby will be 6 months younger than mine. Don't know why they had to inform me in my last month of pregnancy, when I am hormonal and stressed to the max!
This has been ongoing, but my MIL has been trying to force me to communicate with the half-sister (in-law) and try to mend the rift between her and FIL. Um...what do you expect me to do, exactly? Why not talk to your son or daughter and not rely on me to do something like that?
She sent me a message after a little Facebook drama from the half-sister because I politely responded publicly (while sending the half-sister an explanation privately) with a short, sweet comment.
MIL was like, "Is that all you've got? You are just going to thank her and tell her you'll let her know what you need for the baby, and not mention how sad your FIL is that he never hears from her or sees his grandsons anymore?"
I facepalmed...hard.
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I've seen two separate therapists who say I should cut off contact with her, as she's a narcissist. I was hoping the baby would change this.
Nope- it hasn't. I get her a birthday gift, she hates it. I give her dates to come visit, it's not acceptable because i'm not canceling my plans to go to someone else's wedding for her. She says my husband and I despise her- where is she getting this from??? because she no longer controls me???
She keeps on playing the victim and I don't have the energy for this. I am on bedrest and have most of the symptoms of pre-eclampsia, she knows this, and STILL chooses to stress me out. My elderly dogs are sick and I already have enough on my plate that I don't need to add a geriatric child to the list.
I want to cut her off until she gets mental help (she never will) but my husband is trying to get me to stay patient. She's horrible to him.
I'm lucky I have a great mother in law and great in-laws or I don't know what I'd do.
I found out my dad is expecting a baby with his wife (that is 4 years older than me). I wanted to barf everywhere. Their baby will be 6 months younger than mine. Don't know why they had to inform me in my last month of pregnancy, when I am hormonal and stressed to the max!
Eeek. Wow yeah that seems like such an awkward situation. Sorry you're having to deal with this while stressed out already!
This has been ongoing, but my MIL has been trying to force me to communicate with the half-sister (in-law) and try to mend the rift between her and FIL. Um...what do you expect me to do, exactly? Why not talk to your son or daughter and not rely on me to do something like that?
She sent me a message after a little Facebook drama from the half-sister because I politely responded publicly (while sending the half-sister an explanation privately) with a short, sweet comment.
MIL was like, "Is that all you've got? You are just going to thank her and tell her you'll let her know what you need for the baby, and not mention how sad your FIL is that he never hears from her or sees his grandsons anymore?"
I facepalmed...hard.
Wtf? Because that's YOUR job? Dude I would have facepalmed HER so hard. Lmao
I've seen two separate therapists who say I should cut off contact with her, as she's a narcissist. I was hoping the baby would change this.
Nope- it hasn't. I get her a birthday gift, she hates it. I give her dates to come visit, it's not acceptable because i'm not canceling my plans to go to someone else's wedding for her. She says my husband and I despise her- where is she getting this from??? because she no longer controls me???
She keeps on playing the victim and I don't have the energy for this. I am on bedrest and have most of the symptoms of pre-eclampsia, she knows this, and STILL chooses to stress me out. My elderly dogs are sick and I already have enough on my plate that I don't need to add a geriatric child to the list.
I want to cut her off until she gets mental help (she never will) but my husband is trying to get me to stay patient. She's horrible to him.
I'm lucky I have a great mother in law and great in-laws or I don't know what I'd do.
Sounds so much like my Momma. Everything revolves around her, and her problems. She has severe depression and anxiety, and she doesn't eat on top of it. She's also alcoholic. SO whenever we talk, it's more like her telling me about the new meds she's on, or how weak and fragile she is. Like okay, I've tried helping you for how many years now?! It's so frustrating. And I know the feeling of wanting to cut them off. I would feel horrible though I hope your situation gets better
This has been ongoing, but my MIL has been trying to force me to communicate with the half-sister (in-law) and try to mend the rift between her and FIL. Um...what do you expect me to do, exactly? Why not talk to your son or daughter and not rely on me to do something like that?
She sent me a message after a little Facebook drama from the half-sister because I politely responded publicly (while sending the half-sister an explanation privately) with a short, sweet comment.
MIL was like, "Is that all you've got? You are just going to thank her and tell her you'll let her know what you need for the baby, and not mention how sad your FIL is that he never hears from her or sees his grandsons anymore?"
I facepalmed...hard.
Wtf? Because that's YOUR job? Dude I would have facepalmed HER so hard. Lmao
Oh, don't I know it! This happens on a regular basis - she wants me to do a lot of things I'm not comfortable with, and I don't even live with her anymore. I don't get along with her side of the family either. The apple really doesn't fall far from the family tree.
Last week she tried to text us to go buy her some cigarettes on our way out to visit with our ailing FIL.
She knows we're anti-smoking (DH is allergic to the smoke - we found this out by, you know, LIVING with her), our FIL was diagnosed last year with COPD and is getting worse, and yet she still smokes like a freight train around him and his oxygen tank. She's such a classy lady...
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I found out my dad is expecting a baby with his wife (that is 4 years older than me). I wanted to barf everywhere. Their baby will be 6 months younger than mine. Don't know why they had to inform me in my last month of pregnancy, when I am hormonal and stressed to the max!
That's a sucky situation!! Reminds me of when we told my FIL and his wife (husband's step mom) that we were having a baby. She wasn't thrilled, she was still hoping to have another child. (She has a 4 year old almost 5, waited til late 30s to marry and have kids)
Sounds so much like my Momma. Everything revolves around her, and her problems. She has severe depression and anxiety, and she doesn't eat on top of it. She's also alcoholic. SO whenever we talk, it's more like her telling me about the new meds she's on, or how weak and fragile she is. Like okay, I've tried helping you for how many years now?! It's so frustrating. And I know the feeling of wanting to cut them off. I would feel horrible though I hope your situation gets better
I'm sorry to hear that about your mom, too. How do you handle her?
I've tried to be rational with my mom and ignore her comments or re-route the discussion and it never works out. It's always how she's a martyr and I suck in every aspect of life. She used to tell me what a burden I am and what a horrible creature I was- now she just says I'm mean and ungrateful. I couldn't imagine treating my daughter this way. As I get closer and closer to being a mother, I get more baffled.
I've seen two separate therapists who say I should cut off contact with her, as she's a narcissist. I was hoping the baby would change this.
Nope- it hasn't. I get her a birthday gift, she hates it. I give her dates to come visit, it's not acceptable because i'm not canceling my plans to go to someone else's wedding for her. She says my husband and I despise her- where is she getting this from??? because she no longer controls me???
She keeps on playing the victim and I don't have the energy for this. I am on bedrest and have most of the symptoms of pre-eclampsia, she knows this, and STILL chooses to stress me out. My elderly dogs are sick and I already have enough on my plate that I don't need to add a geriatric child to the list.
I want to cut her off until she gets mental help (she never will) but my husband is trying to get me to stay patient. She's horrible to him.
I'm lucky I have a great mother in law and great in-laws or I don't know what I'd do.
Sounds so much like my Momma. Everything revolves around her, and her problems. She has severe depression and anxiety, and she doesn't eat on top of it. She's also alcoholic. SO whenever we talk, it's more like her telling me about the new meds she's on, or how weak and fragile she is. Like okay, I've tried helping you for how many years now?! It's so frustrating. And I know the feeling of wanting to cut them off. I would feel horrible though I hope your situation gets better
Wow, my MIL is the same way! She's a walking book of medical issues, and LOVES to tell me several times a day how much pain she's in, and how she had to take x-amount of pills today... All she does is smoke a pack of cigs a day and sit on the couch! Of course she's unhealthy! Faaaaaaack it makes me crazy! I worked for a high end landscaping company til I was 7 months pregnant, pushing wheelbarrows full of gravel and shoveling snow for 12+ hours a day! I never complained! Its not my fault she's such a wreck!
So I wrote my mom a lengthy text and told her not to contact me anymore until she seeks therapy. I feel a little relieved and worried at the same time. She's negatively impacting my mind as I go into delivery though and I couldn't take it anymore.
I found out my dad is expecting a baby with his wife (that is 4 years older than me). I wanted to barf everywhere. Their baby will be 6 months younger than mine. Don't know why they had to inform me in my last month of pregnancy, when I am hormonal and stressed to the max!
This actually happened to me 2 years ago and I couldn't believe after being his only child for 22 years he all of a sudden decides to have a baby at 52 years old with a 27 year old :-| It was just so weird to me and then when I was about 5 months pregnant they announced they were having another baby! But poor thing had a miscarriage
My MIL was supposed to come over this morning to entertain our 2.5 yo and 4yo so that I could pack and take care of baby (2weeks old). We move in 15 days and have almost nothing packed. DH has to work today, as he's taking days off this week to help pack while kids at school.
MIL texted me to cancel because "her body hurts". Bullshit. She's mad because I won't drop kids at her house hour away and we don't trust her to be alone with our kids. (Hence why she was supposed to play with them in our basement while I pack upstairs.)
So now I'm home with 3 kids under 5 with no help. All my family is at my grandparents house helping with yard work (Mother's Day gift to her).
I have a friend that may come over at 11am, but she bailed on me last week when she was supposed to come over- so I'm skeptical.
My 2.5 yo son has crumbled muffins in my bed, tore my bathroom apart all while I'm trying to pump. Now he's trying to disassemble my pump.
My 4yo Daughter is screaming because daddy left for work without saying goodbye (she was sleeping)...
And my 2 week old is sleeping through it all. Thank heavens for small miracles
Can't help but want to cry. Or scream. Or both. Damn hormones .
I've seen two separate therapists who say I should cut off contact with her, as she's a narcissist. I was hoping the baby would change this.
Nope- it hasn't. I get her a birthday gift, she hates it. I give her dates to come visit, it's not acceptable because i'm not canceling my plans to go to someone else's wedding for her. She says my husband and I despise her- where is she getting this from??? because she no longer controls me???
She keeps on playing the victim and I don't have the energy for this. I am on bedrest and have most of the symptoms of pre-eclampsia, she knows this, and STILL chooses to stress me out. My elderly dogs are sick and I already have enough on my plate that I don't need to add a geriatric child to the list.
I want to cut her off until she gets mental help (she never will) but my husband is trying to get me to stay patient. She's horrible to him.
I'm lucky I have a great mother in law and great in-laws or I don't know what I'd do.
Almost sounds like your mom has borderline personality disorder... To be honest. The best thing is to put strict boundaries on what you will accept and not accept. And most definitely at this time worry about yourself and getting baby here healthy Good luck!
Just found out that my narcissistic personality disorder mil who Haaaaaaaaates me is coming into town on the 25th. She has a long history of sociopathic behavior and always directs it at me and my kids.
I'm due the 30th and 37 weeks today. Ds1 came at 37 weeks and dd came at 38. I'm so screwed. Best case scenario I deliver Ds2 today and have a 2 week old by the time she gets here. Otherwise we're looking at a true newborn or even worse, hospital drama.
Positives- she won't be staying with me. She is not welcome and knows it. Dh usually deals with her and helps me out. But he gets super stressed and upset as he does (understandably). She already hates me, and I hate her and we both know it. So I don't really have to fake anything.
To-do: create a list of ground rules with DH for interacting with with myself and the kids. Because I'm so emotionally balanced and ready to help dh deal with this rationally and respectful right now. Ugh.
To all the ladies with narc mils, I know your pain.
I've seen two separate therapists who say I should cut off contact with her, as she's a narcissist. I was hoping the baby would change this.
Nope- it hasn't. I get her a birthday gift, she hates it. I give her dates to come visit, it's not acceptable because i'm not canceling my plans to go to someone else's wedding for her. She says my husband and I despise her- where is she getting this from??? because she no longer controls me???
She keeps on playing the victim and I don't have the energy for this. I am on bedrest and have most of the symptoms of pre-eclampsia, she knows this, and STILL chooses to stress me out. My elderly dogs are sick and I already have enough on my plate that I don't need to add a geriatric child to the list.
I want to cut her off until she gets mental help (she never will) but my husband is trying to get me to stay patient. She's horrible to him.
I'm lucky I have a great mother in law and great in-laws or I don't know what I'd do.
Almost sounds like your mom has borderline personality disorder... To be honest. The best thing is to put strict boundaries on what you will accept and not accept. And most definitely at this time worry about yourself and getting baby here healthy Good luck!
Thanks! I never heard about borderline personality disorder. I looked it up and it sounds like her. I try to set boundaries but she gets more angry and erratic. I remain set on rules but she throws tantrums and makes up things in her head . But yeah, not talking to her for now because I just end up stressed.
I don't know how to deal with her and she won't get help.
I found out my dad is expecting a baby with his wife (that is 4 years older than me). I wanted to barf everywhere. Their baby will be 6 months younger than mine. Don't know why they had to inform me in my last month of pregnancy, when I am hormonal and stressed to the max!
This actually happened to me 2 years ago and I couldn't believe after being his only child for 22 years he all of a sudden decides to have a baby at 52 years old with a 27 year old :-| It was just so weird to me and then when I was about 5 months pregnant they announced they were having another baby! But poor thing had a miscarriage
Glad that I am not the only one that has gone through this! it just blows my mind!
MissRissx3
member
Re: Thursday! Family/In Law Vents
MIL texted me to cancel because "her body hurts". Bullshit. She's mad because I won't drop kids at her house hour away and we don't trust her to be alone with our kids. (Hence why she was supposed to play with them in our basement while I pack upstairs.)
So now I'm home with 3 kids under 5 with no help. All my family is at my grandparents house helping with yard work (Mother's Day gift to her).
I have a friend that may come over at 11am, but she bailed on me last week when she was supposed to come over- so I'm skeptical.
My 2.5 yo son has crumbled muffins in my bed, tore my bathroom apart all while I'm trying to pump. Now he's trying to disassemble my pump.
My 4yo Daughter is screaming because daddy left for work without saying goodbye (she was sleeping)...
And my 2 week old is sleeping through it all. Thank heavens for small miracles
Can't help but want to cry. Or scream. Or both. Damn hormones .
I need coffee. Or a mimosa. STAT.
Good luck!
I'm due the 30th and 37 weeks today. Ds1 came at 37 weeks and dd came at 38. I'm so screwed. Best case scenario I deliver Ds2 today and have a 2 week old by the time she gets here. Otherwise we're looking at a true newborn or even worse, hospital drama.
Positives- she won't be staying with me. She is not welcome and knows it. Dh usually deals with her and helps me out. But he gets super stressed and upset as he does (understandably). She already hates me, and I hate her and we both know it. So I don't really have to fake anything.
To-do: create a list of ground rules with DH for interacting with with myself and the kids. Because I'm so emotionally balanced and ready to help dh deal with this rationally and respectful right now. Ugh.
To all the ladies with narc mils, I know your pain.
I try to set boundaries but she gets more angry and erratic. I remain set on rules but she throws tantrums and makes up things in her head . But yeah, not talking to her for now because I just end up stressed.
I don't know how to deal with her and she won't get help.
Thanks again
Glad that I am not the only one that has gone through this! it just blows my mind!