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May 2015 Moms
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Plans change, and so does my perspective...

caseygillespiecaseygillespie member
in May 2015 Moms
So my son was born 4 years ago via csection after a failed induction at 42.5 weeks. I was adament that I could have him naturally. I had my birth plan. I had a doula. He had other plans. This time around my dr and I discussed all the options and decided a vbac was the best thing for me. He offered me a scheduled cesarian from the get go and I couldn't wrap my head around a mother NOT wanting to try to go natural. I thought that the mothers who plan on cesarian were selfish and thought their own schedules were somehow more important than the health of the baby.
Today I'm 38.5 weeks pg, perfectly healthy and just scheduled an elective csection for Wednesday the 13th due to "selfish" reasons. My husband was just offered a better job. They want him to start immediately. The most time he could buy was 2 weeks to put in with his current employer. At the end of the 2 weeks we lose our insurance. His new employer offers insurance but it isn't effective for 60 days. So....I made a choice. I have to have the baby within the week, with insurance, and get to spend a few days as a family before hubby leaves for training....
I am at peace with it but feel so horrible for judging other moms for choosing to go this route. Sometimes life has other plans for us and if I've learned anything about pregnancy between this baby and the last it's that we CANNOT control how this turns out.

Anyone else have a complete change of plans?
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Re: Plans change, and so does my perspective...

  • brookew86brookew86 member
    Your reasons aren't selfish. That's just silly to think that. Plans change, and decisions change to accommodate it.

    I had my DD naturally. Lately, I've had the thought that I might end up getting a c-section. It's just kind of in the back of my head. I've never had any sort of surgery so the idea of having my DD via c-section years ago scared me to death. Now, though, despite a little apprehension on my part I've told myself I can handle whatever comes my way. I'm still planning to do a vaginal birth, but if something happens I don't think I will be upset about any decisions that are made with this baby. If my plans change, so be it.
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  • hannahwilderrhannahwilderr member
    great post! thank you!
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  • manacitamanacita member
    Oh gawd. I am a much kinder, more patient, and flexible person after having kids! You're absolutely right! Plans, both big and small, change. And some things are out of our control. Anytime someone does something wonky, I shrug and say, 'you never know their whole story.' If it doesn't involve me (and often even if it does), it is none of my damn business. Plus, you never know how much sleep people are getting. Never ever did I realize what a dreadful and debilitating impact not getting enough sleep has on people.

    Good for you for making a decision that involves financial planning and making sure your newborn has insurance. Do what works for you and your family. Xoxo!
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  • stark01938209stark01938209 member
    This isn't selfish, it's the opposite. Putting your family under financial strain for "the experience" would be more selfish. We all have to do what we think is best and hope for the best. Good luck! My last one was a scheduled c- easy delivery - a few extra days to recover. It was great- since that's how our son arrived :)
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  • jmorneau09jmorneau09 member
    Not selfish at all! I agree with people above. The quality time with your family and ensuring you have insurance is far more important. And hey hear that c-section as are easier to bounce back from the second time.
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  • CateOfChicagoCateOfChicago member
    I've said this before. I don't know how anyone thinks a cs is selfish or easy. This will be my 2nd, not by choice. I would probably choose vb if I could. My epidural, cs and recovery were all awful and I'm now scarred for life (not that I care, my bikini days are long over). The only benefit is that it is scheduled. I would choose 1 day of pain over weeks or months of discomfort, itching, etc.
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    Franco Paul born 6/4/15 at 39 weeks.  Mila Francesca born 10/19/13 at 37 weeks.  Both born via C-Section after 6 years of fertility treatments, disappointments and losses. Love them!!

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  • kerriam26kerriam26 member
    I'm sure you looked into it, but COBRA extended coverage was a lifesaver for me when I was between jobs. But either way, health insurance has been one of my biggest concerns throughout my entire pregnancy as both my coverage and DH's have crazy expensive family plans. It's really stressed me out figuring out who's plan to put the baby under. So I completely understand your rationale and I'm sure it wasn't a decision you took lightly. I've had it in my mind that I'm going to deliver vaginally, med-free but baby boy is quickly approaching his due date and I have zero signs of labor with a cervex so closed and high my OB can barely reach it during my exams. So my odds right now of my plan becoming reality are pretty slim. Thank you for posting!
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