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Help! How to tell my boyfriend's DS about a new sibling?

iheartmyroofiheartmyroof member
in Blended Families
hi folks,

I'm just over 7 wks pregnant, and we are waiting to tell my partner's 6 year old son, once we have had our 12 wk scan.

He had spoken often about wishing he had a brother or sister, but so far he thinks that can't happen because his BM "isn't having any babies"..

We are worried he doesn't get that daddies have a role in making a sibling, but I'm not sure what age appropriate discussions to start in order to help him accept and understand the situation..

A few conversations have touched on how he is partly like his mummy and partly like his dad, but my BF is anticipating it will (understandably) be a little confusing for him.

I've been looking for a suitable book, but all the options seem to be about explaining that there's a baby in mummy's tummy and I think that will confuse him more!

Has anyone got any advice or book recommendations for introducing him to the idea successfully?

Thanks so much!

Also wish us luck on navigating the BM situation, we have agreed to tell her first so she can be prepared for any questions, but she doesn't handle change without picking a fight first!

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Re: Help! How to tell my boyfriend's DS about a new sibling?

  • sgoodselsgoodsel member
    I'm not sure on good books for a 6 year old SS. My SS was 11 when DD was born, so he understood.

    I'd just keep reminding him that this will be his little sibling. They will have different moms but the same dad.

    As for telling BM, we waited until SS was with us and told him before telling BM. Then while SS was still with us, DH let BM know. BM would have told SS on her own and not waited if she knew. We felt that that gave her a chance to process her feelings and hopefully put on a happy face for SS when he returned. 
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  • cole2144cole2144 member
    With our DD, we did the same thing as Sgoodsel, waited until SD was with us and then DH emailed BM to let her know.
    No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
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  • iheartmyroofiheartmyroof member
    Yeah I think that is our plan, though my partner is going to tell her in person so we can minimise any reasons for her to be pissed.

    We have our first scan on a Wednesday, and then we'll have DS from the thursday after school to the monday morning. DH will tell her on the thursday after DS is in bed, and then we can take the weekend to talk with him, meanwhile, BM can get her head round it in time for seeing him the next week..

    Have also been thinking of making a special book, maybe based on the ones i can find in the library, but changing the words to be appropriate to our family relationships.. need to get on it soon actually, the scan is in 3 weeks time!

    Feeling much more confident about it now, BM will do what she does, regardless how we stage manage things, the important thing is to connect with DS in order to help him feel sure and happy about the news!

    Thanks for your comments so far everyone :)

    x
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