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Am I overreacting over MIL's comment.....

MrsS728MrsS728 member
in May 2015 Moms
I'm probably being super emotional, overacting, ridiculous about it, but it's bothering me to no end. My MIL called me to see how I was doing because I'm overdue and she referred to my child as "the little sh!t." I'm sorry, but that really, really bothered me. Don't call my child that. If she had said, "the little stinker" it wouldn't have bothered me, but I just felt that it was so harsh to say that. If I'm overreacting, and overly hormonal please tell me and I'll let it go, but it's upsetting me. This is also the same woman that basically told us she's not as excited about this baby as her other grandchildren and was disappointed about the gender of the baby. My husband's response was, "That's just how my mother is."   
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Re: Am I overreacting over MIL's comment.....

  • lovelleisgoldenlovelleisgolden member
    Okay in my opinion, I would definitely be bothered by this comment. That is because I would never talk to my own child like that or allow my husband to refer to his son this way. I do think there is a way to handle it. maybe just sit in your feelings for a little bit and if you need to write down key points about why it bothers you and how bothered you are about it so that when you bring the subject back up to her you can stay organized in your thoughts. When I am upset I do this otherwise I get lost in my emotions and people cant grasp why I am as upset as I am. But I would tell her, I understand if you didn't mean any harm by the statement but it bothered me because.... and I wont tolerate that kind of language being directed toward my son...... in the family that I am in when I confront DH family I always talk to him about it and I say this is why it bothered me. I understand that this might be how your mother usually is or maybe that was how she was with you but I don't have to tolerate it with our son, I could use your support. That way DH cant be played by both sides. This is just what I would do. I don't know your MIL or your DH or even you so I understand the approach to everyones family is different for many reasons but this is the approach I would take. Because I believe you are not overreacting. I think you have every right to be upset. Just collect yourself and don't ever give anyone the excuse of just blaming your feelings on your hormones. Don't let anyone sweep you under the rug!
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  • MrsWhiteToBeMrsWhiteToBe member
    I would say you were over reacting if not for your MIL's other comments. I think she's trying to be funny but you gotta know your audience. Of course a pregnant woman isn't going to laugh at someone saying that about her unborn baby.

    DH and I are friends with a couple who are very anti-children (well, we're friends with him, but we can't stand her. Despite her constantly talking about never wanting to have kids she sure has plenty of pregnancy advice for me!) They think it's really cute to refer to my DD as the "parasite" or "flesh monkey." Usually I just say something like "We prefer to call her Lily."
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  • cassietegtmeiercassietegtmeier member
    Eh I call my newborn a little shit sometimes. I wouldn't personally be bothered by it but everyone's different.
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  • FTArmyMFTArmyM member
    I was super upset wheny dad called my unborn an asshole (she was kicking and he said she was gonna be an asshole like me). I understand where u are coming from but we are emotional and overreacting. Im sure she didnt mean anything by it.
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  • MommaAlyxMommaAlyx member
    Based on your MILs previous comments and behavior, I'd take it a little hard too. Granted, hormones are raging, and in any other circumstance, I'd say you're over reacting, but, seeing as how youre past your due date (I'm right there with you) I'd take your side. To be fair, I'm not too fond if my MIL so I'm biased. I'd scratch her eyes out if she referred to my unborn child in such manner, and I'm pretty easy going about that stuff usually.
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  • mrswynn2014mrswynn2014 member
    I would be upset also, mainly because I wouldn't refer to my child as that so I wouldn't want other people to either. I would tell your DH it bothered you, and let it go( for now) if it happens again I would calmly ask her to not call the baby that. And make sure DH has your back. ..... We have to do that when people come to our house. We don't mind when ppl cuss, but we don't like hearing the lord's name in vain. So if someone says gd more than like 3 times my husband politely says " will you please not say that" and they usually stop. But if we are at someone else's house we can't tell them to stop. But in your situation it's YOUR baby.
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  • saric83saric83 member
    cassietegtmeier said:

    Eh I call my newborn a little shit sometimes. I wouldn't personally be bothered by it but everyone's different.

    Ditto this for me :)

    OP, while it's not the most loving comment she could make, I wouldn't waste the breath to say something about it now.  He's almost out, and I'm guessing (hoping) she'll call him by his name once he's arrived.  If she says it again, just ask her not to call him that.  
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  • babyblue0501babyblue0501 member
    Maybe because colorful language is like "the" and "and" in my house, I would say maybe just a little hormonal. I get upset by certain comments one day, and then another day I'm less phased. I don't think she meant anything by it. My grandmom, who I love tremendously, always says "off the cuff" one liners like that. I can remember being called a little shit as a kid, but to her she wasnt serious, and it was a term of endearment (if you could imagine that). Maybe she gets away with it because she's old and cute. She also is the type to tell you when you've gained weight... without asking her. Lol!

    If your MIL is saying it to get under your skin, she succeeded, don't let it bother you. Other fish to fry! :)
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  • klaG101klaG101 member
    If it was just this comment i would say just let it go because some people just talk that way. But with the previous comments she had made I would be upset too.
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  • Brieb33Brieb33 member
    I don't think you're overreacting - that is a human being you are creating, you wouldn't talk to your own child that way, and she shouldn't either. I had a huge falling out with my sister and her husband and they wouldn't talk to me for a year because her husband got in my sons face when he was a few months old and called him an "ugly little fucker" twice. And he said it in a cute baby voice like it was so funny. I let them know that was NOT going to happen and an apology was in order- they got pissed and didn't talk to me for a year. For one, my son is beautiful, much better looking than his kids, and he is not a "fucker". If that's how they want to talk to their kids, go for it, but don't get upset when they call you that some day.

    Based on her comments she sounds rude, next time just say something like no my baby is not a shit, and please don't talk like that about him/her ever again, THANKS!
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