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difficult day (loss mentioned)

FLsquirrel80FLsquirrel80 member
in TTC after 35
I don't know why I let days like today get to me, but there are times when the difficulty of infertility rears its ugly head.  As soon as my husband and I started TTC, we started thinking of names for our future children.  If we had a girl, we came up with the name Charlotte Elizabeth.  Charlotte after my great-grandmother whom I adored and Elizabeth after his grandmother whom he loved.  In September of last year, I found out I was pregnant and due June 21st which happened to be my late great-grandmother's birthday.  I know most women do not have their baby on the exact due date, but I was already dreaming of having a girl on the birthday of her namesake.  When I lost the baby, I was devastated.  I am was starting to get better until today when I found out the Royal family named their little girl Charlotte Elizabeth.  I am already sad that I don't get to give birth next month, but here is someone who not only is able to have a baby, but have a baby with a name I chose.  I feel so silly getting upset over this, but it has just been kinda hard on me today.  Sorry to take up people's time with my silly woes.  
Me - 35   Hubby - 38 
Married 10/2007 
Baby girl - 2/6/16 




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Re: difficult day (loss mentioned)

  • FemShepFemShep member
    I am sorry for your loss. Your feelings aren't silly-it's painful to be reminded in any way, much less one so public and specific, of the children we didn't have.
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  • hooligans4hooligans4 member
    Your dealings are real and valid. There are so many triggers for the pain to come back full first. This is totally understandable.
    I will send you so many hugs today.

      Me:39, DH:40

    DD born 8/96, DS born 8/04

    TTC#3

    NTNP since 2006, active trying 1/13

    Natural M/C 3/13 at 7 weeks

    CP 2/14

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers

             imageimage

    All welcome

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  • jilligan14jilligan14 member
    I understand your pain. The due date for my last pregnancy was going to be on July 7, which is my niece's birthday. I was so thrilled by this and now feel so sad as the date approaches. My sister-in-law popped out three kids, one right after another, and she got pregnant on the first try every time! She's a year older than me and I just can't help but feel like it's so unfair. I feel bad about how jealous I feel, but I think it's a natural feeling when you're struggling ttc and also experiencing losses, etc. Sending you lots and lots of hugs!
    ME: 36 (PCOS), DH: excellent SA
    NTNP since 11/12, actively trying since 8/14
    m/c @ 7w (4/22/14), m/c @ 6w (11/19/14)
    11/15: Letrozole, Ovidrel, TI = BFP!!!
    Beta #1(14dpo)=349, Beta #2(18dpo)=2,805
    12/17/15: Got to see the heartbeat (105bpm)!
    1/25/16: NT scan = normal (HB=163bpm)
    EDD: 8/10/16 
    8/8/16: Baby boy born @ 12:25am, 8lbs, 20.5 inches
    5/18/17: BFP!!! (11dpo)
    Beta #1(12dpo)=176.4, Beta #2(15dpo)=607.1
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  • emsmama15emsmama15 member
    Please don't think your feelings are silly.  They are real and make total sense to all of us.  Allow yourself to grieve right now.  Sending you hugs.


    *** Child & current pregnancy mentioned ***
    Me - 41 (PCOS), Hubby - 43 (healthy)
    7/2013 - Sweet baby girl born (Clomid + TI)
    3/2014 - TTC #2, return to RE 7/2014
    12/2015: IVF #1 transferred two great looking embryos - BFP!
    First ultrasound: TWO beautiful little heartbeats!!
    Harmony: negative; level 2: babies look great and are boy/girl! :) 
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  • dolphin012dolphin012 member
    That's tough. Your feelings are very valid. Hang in there and take care of yourself.
    Me (42) w/ partner for 16+ years
    TTC #1: 11/2012 - 9/2013; 6/2014 - present
    Follistim + TI (3x): All BFNs
    Follistim + IUI (1x): BFN 
    IVF #1: 17 retrieved,15 fertilized, Day 3: 15, Day 5/6: 3 biopsied
    Result; 1 frozen blast (inconclusive PGS results)
    IVF #2; ER: 6/22 16 retrieved, 6/25: 5 transferred (CP), 2 frozen
    FET 9/17: BFN
    Current FET -- Transferred 2 day-3 embryos - BFN

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  • GoldenKeysGoldenKeys admin
    I am so sorry for your loss.   I've had a few triggers like that as well as a major meltdown because of something similar.   HUGE HUGS, take good care of yourself and I hope that you feel better soon...


    Married for 7 years, TTC for 4 years
    dx:  Diminished Ovarian Reserve
    2 Clomid IUI's + 4 injectable IUI's= 5 BFNs and 1 mc




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  • rspalding001rspalding001 member
    I totally understand how you feel. Like everyone else said it's totally valid and understandable. Big hugs!!!!!
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  • BulgariHeartBulgariHeart member
    I'm so very sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine. Be good to yourself and know that your feelings are valid. I'll keep you my thoughts.
    Anniversary
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