Quips or comebacks for unsolicited advice

geologynerd · May 2015

I know unsolicited advice comes with being pregnant so I take it and just smile and nod. But, today after I smiled and nodded the woman kept pushing her advice on me. This is something we are going to experience at some point so I was thinking we should share some comebacks, quips or shut downs so we all have something perfect to say to those who think they know better.

Squirtgun · May 2015

Edited to show that this is my advice, not a comment directed at OP...

DiademChi · May 2015

I usually do the smile, nod, make a few "that's interesting", and " thanks for sharing *your* experience", then try to leave. Have your phone go off, claim an appointment, etc.

mnunga · May 2015

Oh god I had a coworker that would keep doing this. I had to just say HEY HEY could you shut up for a second because I stopped listening a while back. (My reaction to Her telling me how breastfeeding is overrated and an inconvenience) I swear these people just need to go eat a d..k and maybe go choke on it. Biggest pet peeve.

Pontot31 · May 2015

I just say - I'm confident in my choices and if I need help I will ask. Thanks for the advice, but I'm not in need of any right now.

I am not afraid of stopping people from giving out their horrible advice either.

With our parents we made it very clear very early that if we wanted help we would ask but we wouldn't stand by while they gave out unsolicited advice.
I'm a pretty blunt person though

VexyMommy · May 2015

Last pregnancy I just stood and took it nodding and the whole time. 9yrs later I have more confidence and don't intend to put up with the truly horrible stuff like my mil saying I should have wine with her.

I also won't put up with the labor & delivery horror stories some women love to tell.

ashleywuli · May 2015

mnunga said:
Oh god I had a coworker that would keep doing this. I had to just say HEY HEY could you shut up for a second because I stopped listening a while back. (My reaction to Her telling me how breastfeeding is overrated and an inconvenience) I swear these people just need to go eat a d..k and maybe go choke on it. Biggest pet peeve.

You seriously had me LOLing reading this!!!

ashd918 · May 2015

Im in no mood for unsolicited advice right now. This is my third rodeo, so when it comes pouring in as it always does, I put an exceptionally chipper look on my face and say 'oh really? Thanks! I so love getting advice thats unneeded, unasked for, and unwanted! Thats so great of you! Since you know ive only been through this twice before, you know I could really use it!' And then usually follow that up with a muttered 'a**hole' or something. But im a special snowflake, so theres that.

lakesideknitter · May 2015

VexyMommy said:
I also won't put up with the labor & delivery horror stories some women love to tell.

This is a thing?! Please, God, no!!!

Alexis514 · May 2015

anikajoy said:

VexyMommy said:
I also won't put up with the labor & delivery horror stories some women love to tell.
This is a thing?! Please, God, no!!!

I've already had this happen (pregnancy and L&D horror stories). I borrowed a line from my aunt - I interrupt them with "unless this is inspirational or has a great ending, I really can't hear your story"

As for unsolicited advice, I usually just say "I'll think about that". It's hard to remember that most people are really just trying to be helpful even though it's super annoying. When I'm being "told" what I should do, I get much more assertive.

HungryRunner76 · May 2015

I got off lucky in my last pregnancy and somehow avoided advice & belly touching.

However, two things I did have to deal with was my MIL dissing our name choice & the "how far along are you? ::insert pregnancy month:: oh! You'll never make it that far/you're large for that".

Immediately following our announcement of sex/name, my MIL said, "you know what name I love? Natalie." My response, " that's lovely. You can name your next daughter that". I was already upset because she asked my husband if he was disappointed that it was girl (and we struggled to get pregnant for 2 years).

As for the size/weight comments, I usually brushed them off but one lady specifically said I looked "huge" for 6 months - "no offense". I told her I was offended and between that and her poor service (she was our waitress), we left her a bad tip.

VexyMommy · May 2015

anikajoy said:

VexyMommy said:
I also won't put up with the labor & delivery horror stories some women love to tell.
This is a thing?! Please, God, no!!!

Unfortunately it is. I don't know why some people do this. I equate it to a hazing ritual for new moms, as though they don't have enough going on they need experienced mothers to give them more things to worry about. When I've heard people doing this I try to make sure to tell the woman the abridged version of my birth story. I wasn't progressing very well with my labor, got an epidural, took a nap and woke up to my daughter crowning.

hlz128 · May 2015

My brothers gf, whom I absolutely do not like!, does this to me every time I try and talk to my brother. She's constantly yelling into the phone he advice and two sense and commenting on everything I say to him about my pregnancy.i couldn't even hear my brother talking at this point so I finally snapped and told her to shut her d*** mouth and if I wanted her advice I'd ask for it.... They both haven't spoken to me in like 2 weeks.

geologynerd · May 2015

hlaverett88 said:
They both haven't spoken to me in like 2 weeks.

Which is why I wanted something witty to say. I like the Big Bang reference.

dalzien · May 2015

Quick word of advice... the unsolicited advice doesn't stop once you've had the baby lol. Sometimes it can be much worse afterwards.

I've just told people it's none of their business , my body, my baby, my rules. I get a lot of flack from my mother, and I've stopped being nice about it and have pretty much told her to keep her opinions to herself... although not in such a nice way. I don't even bother sugarcoating it anymore, I find that being curt/short just stops them in their tracks.

vomitrosa · May 2015

unsolicited advice is so obnoxious, I understand people think they're being helpful...for me, this isn't my first rodeo. I get aggreviated easily and just ignore it all together or laugh. I don't mean to be rude, but I feel its intrusive for someone else to offer advise on something that is a different experience for everyone.

JoReavesMommy · May 2015

dalzien said:
Quick word of advice... the unsolicited advice doesn't stop once you've had the baby lol. Sometimes it can be much worse afterwards.
I've just told people it's none of their business , my body, my baby, my rules. I get a lot of flack from my mother, and I've stopped being nice about it and have pretty much told her to keep her opinions to herself... although not in such a nice way. I don't even bother sugarcoating it anymore, I find that being curt/short just stops them in their tracks.

This! When my son was teething someone on his dad's family gave him a rib bone to chew on to soothe him . TF ! He hadn't even started on meats. Thanks but no thanks.

mmk29 · May 2015

JoReavesMommy said:

dalzien said:
Quick word of advice... the unsolicited advice doesn't stop once you've had the baby lol. Sometimes it can be much worse afterwards.
I've just told people it's none of their business , my body, my baby, my rules. I get a lot of flack from my mother, and I've stopped being nice about it and have pretty much told her to keep her opinions to herself... although not in such a nice way. I don't even bother sugarcoating it anymore, I find that being curt/short just stops them in their tracks.

This! When my son was teething someone on his dad's family gave him a rib bone to chew on to soothe him . TF ! He hadn't even started on meats. Thanks but no thanks.

A rib bone? Wow. My MIL insisted that I should give my son frozen cheesecake. There is no possibility whatsoever of that being a choking hazard. *eye roll*

Pontot31 · May 2015

mmk29 said:

JoReavesMommy said:

dalzien said:
Quick word of advice... the unsolicited advice doesn't stop once you've had the baby lol. Sometimes it can be much worse afterwards.
I've just told people it's none of their business , my body, my baby, my rules. I get a lot of flack from my mother, and I've stopped being nice about it and have pretty much told her to keep her opinions to herself... although not in such a nice way. I don't even bother sugarcoating it anymore, I find that being curt/short just stops them in their tracks.

This! When my son was teething someone on his dad's family gave him a rib bone to chew on to soothe him . TF ! He hadn't even started on meats. Thanks but no thanks.
A rib bone? Wow. My MIL insisted that I should give my son frozen cheesecake. There is no possibility whatsoever of that being a choking hazard. *eye roll*

Why are people obsessed with feeding babies shit they shouldn't have?!
My MIL was always asking if she could give random things to my daughter. I just don't get it.

MariSlater · May 2015

I have a friend that feels the need to babble and try to give me advice. Here's the thing. She's pregnant with her first. This is my third pregnancy. I usually calmly remind her of that. "Yes, that's good to know but remember hun this is my third pregnancy. I think I got it.'
Probably would say it to anyone else haha.

eamarat · May 2015

I havent had really any advice yet. A friend of mine answers questions and such and my sister-in-law told me OBs in our area not to go to (she's a nurse and has six kids

) but my parents dont know yet (next week!) but I have a feeling my mother's feelings are going to be hurt a few times before this is all over.

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