Currently, my 8 month old will not go to bed for a nap or to sleep for the night without at least 45 minutes to up to 3 hours of screaming and wakes repeatedly. Also, the amount of distress she is in before she falls asleep dictates how many times she wakes up in the night. More crying, more waking up later. She currently averages 8 wakes a night and I nurse her for 3 of those. Her feeding have been pretty consistently at 10:30, 2:30, 5:30 and I haven't tried to drop them down. I am waiting for her going to sleep to get easier before I try to get her to sleep through the night.
Starting at 5 months we moved her from co-sleeping into her crib. She had become a real handful to sleep with after about 4 months, waking frequently and making a lot of noise and she was not getting enough sleep. She isn't distressed by her crib but by me leaving. It is relatively easy to get her back to sleep in the middle of the night but the crying at naps and bedtime is substantial
We used pick up/put down to get her used to her crib and bedtime. This helped the first week but her crying became progressively worse not better over weeks. She just kept crying until she passed out whether I was picking her up or not. After about 3 weeks and a steady 3-4 hours of crying/pick up/put down at bedtime every night without change, we switched to "trading down sleep associations".
Trading Down is similar to pick up/put down & also to sleep lady shuffle but alternates between different methods of soothing slowly eliminating the ones she most prefers, for example being picked up and substituting it with back pats for example until you are hardly soothing them at all and they are going to sleep on their own. THe end is you in a chair in her room and slowly moving away. This worked in a lot of ways especially the first week. She is more open to different methods of soothing and doesn't need to be picked up. However, this progressively became hours of crying at night if I try to leave. After about 5 weeks of this with, again about 3-4 hours of "trading down"/crying at bedtime for about 3 of those weeks with no change, we have escalated.
Now after she is in bed and soothed with begin CIO with interval soothing every 5 then 10 then 15. etc. waiting each night a bit longer to go in. This is not working. She will not stop crying and cries, yes again for 2-3 hours until she eventually is open to being soothed a bit then I pat her back and she goes to sleep. There is no lessening of the amount of time she cries. After two weeks, we moved to extinction. She does not stop crying for about 45 minutes. She is so distressed than she wakes up distressed frequently through the night and has no ability to sooth herself back to sleep. She is also clingier and fussier now, anxious and wants to be held in or in the baby carrier. I had thought extinction might be better since it is less crying overall. I am worried about the sheer amount of crying she is going through even though most of it involved me being right there.
Before we moved her to her crib she would do the same thing unless we slept with her. I put off any sort of sleep distress until she was older and I thought she could handle it.
- she has an appropriate nap schedule and fusses for 45 minutes before her nap
- she has a bedtime routine
- set bedtime with about 30 minutes of flexibility
- she still has not gotten any teeth in and has no red gums
- there are no underlying medical causes
- I know that most sleep regimins take some time and a lot of consistency but after a few weeks with zero progress, it just isn't working.
- I put her down sleepy but not asleep
- she is actually tired and starts yawning as soon as her bedtime routine is done and it it time to go into the crib but just won't go to sleep.
- We have taken some breaks here and there to get her "slept up" mostly when we are switching so she isn't overtired.
- she cannot begin co-sleeping again. It was even more exhausting for me since she would wake up every 40 minutes to nurse.
I just need her to go to bed without a huge drama. I am less concerned about the frequent waking and think it might resolve once bedtime is resolved.
I am am my end. There is nothing else I can think to do and It has been months. I have no patience left and am really tired. If there is any advice you have or if you have had a similar problem, let me know. I really appreciate it. THANK YOU!!!!