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Baby Shower/Announcement

ggginagggina member
edited May 2015 in Pregnant after 35
A few years ago, my SO and I moved halfway across the country, and since then, we haven't made any good friends in the new city. We've also lost touch with most of our old friends as everyone's priorities changed and nobody has been great at keeping in touch. We weren't planning on having a baby shower as nobody is in the new city to throw us one so thinking of sending just a baby announcement to everyone. Is it alright to send to people that we haven't spoken to in a couple of years?
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Re: Baby Shower/Announcement

  • niknak1208niknak1208 member
    I've gotten baby announcements from people I'm not super close to. I don't send gifts as a result of that but I think it would be ok to send them and see what happens. On the other hand, I did get two decent sized gifts from totally unexpected people when we had our son in 2008.

    That's a bummer tho. :(. Will family at least send something??

    My shower is this weekend. And it's our third child. But very small. Very low key. Just super close friends and it was their idea. But I didn't register or anything.
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  • ewennerewenner member
    That's a tough situation to be in without a great support network in your new home.  I think it's a nice idea to send a baby announcement to old friends and family, even if you haven't spoken with them recently.  I wouldn't necessarily expect gifts, but it may allow you to re-connect with some of those people, which may be really nice, regardless.  Hopefully, your family will send you some gifts to help out in getting ready.  
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  • thinkpink101thinkpink101 member

    Well a gift is supposed to be given out of love with no expectation of anything in return, so I would try really hard not to feel like you are owed anything even if you gave them gifts in the past.

    I know what you are saying, we were the first to get married, and at the time we were in school so out friends couldn't afford any big gifts, which we thought nothing of. We were also the first to have kids, and because we had just moved we didn't have a shower or receive any gifts to speak of, except from my family. Over the years we have attended MANY weddings and later baby showers, and of course we have brought gifts to celebrate each occasion, but they were given because we truly cared about our friends, not because we expected something in return. I don't think it would be strange to send a baby announcement to old friends, but only if you are doing it because you are hoping to reconnect with them and keep up a relationship in the future. I would also include a note saying that you have missed their friendship. Honestly I would feel a little strange to get a baby announcement out of the blue from someone I haven't talked to in years, if they couldn't even bother to tell me they are pregnant or make any effort to reach out prior to this.

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  • jerseygirl227jerseygirl227 member
    I agree with the PPs, and I can empathize with your situation.  I'm a FTM and have bought lots of gifts for lots of occasions ... baby showers, bridal showers, engagement parties, retirement parties, milestone birthdays and the list goes on and on.  But I did it because I wanted to (except for a few times when I was pressured at work), and I did so with love.  I'm sure you did, too.  It's just that, now that it's your turn, there are less people you're in contact with because of how life goes.

    I moved to AZ eight years ago.  While I've made a few good friends, it's still been hard.  When I came up with the guest list for my shower, there were 13 ladies on it.  If I had stayed in NJ, that number would have been much larger (though I doubt I would have had a LO on the way, so it's a wash there, lol).  

    On the flip side, I just was thrown a shower at work on Friday.  I was flabergasted byt the amount of wonderful gifts I received ... even from teachers I am not that close to.  Some of these teachers are leaving at the end of the year (three weeks from now).  Will I keep in touch with all of them?  Probably not.  I hope they gave gifts because they wanted to, and won't regret it down the line.

    I think it's okay to send birth announcements.  Perhaps you can include a personal line on some of them, such as "Hope you are your family are well.  Would love to hear from you.  My email is ....."  Of course, only do that if you REALLY want to hear from people, lol.

    We're currently discussing what to do about our family back east.  All know I am expecting.  Do we send an invitation knowing that no one will fly to AZ for a baby shower?  We certainly don't want to look like we are asked for gifts.  But we certainly don't want people to feel left out, if that makes any sense.  Kind of a tough call.

    Good luck!
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