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October 2015 Moms
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I'm 22 years old am I too young?

SDuoduSDuodu member
in October 2015 Moms
Sometimes I get really panicky that I'm too young to be having a baby and that I'm way in over my head but I planned this baby with my SO and I'm happy to be having this baby. Am I the only one?
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Re: I'm 22 years old am I too young?

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  • MelMel92MelMel92 member
    I just turned 23, sometimes i feel the same way you do but in the end i know me and dh will be great parents! We planned our pregnancy. We are financially stable, and can provide a safe and loving environment. Thats the important stuff, age really doesnt matter in the end :) You'll be perfectly fine, all us "younger" mommas will!
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  • gabrielafrnqyepezgabrielafrnqyepez member
    I was 20 when my son was conceived . ...unfortunately he wasn't planned but in a way he saved my life wasn't doing too good for my self .. Had a fantastic well paying job, had my own place, was totally independent but I wasn't too mentally mature to handle the responsabily ..once I found out I was preg I went into denial for about a month I didn't feel anything didn't look like anything till about that first u/s where I met him for the first time ....my life changed that day !!! I don't suddenly become mature or ready but I did suddenly know I was going to change, I went out bought as many books as possible ! Cleared out my apt of all negativity booz foods needless to say nesting kicked in...the baby was born and I was a mother and even though I knew a lot had asked as much q as possible I didn't really think I'd be ready but I was. Turns out the mother instinct does kick in and now 7 yes later I get the worlds best mom every yr on mothers day. What I'm trying to say isarm your self with as much info as you can do your research and nature will do the rest once LO is born ! Good luck it won't be easy AT ALL!! but you will be able to do it !!! Stay positive!





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  • kburks09kburks09 member
    I was 20 when I had my first child . At first you are nervous because you don't know what to expect. And I think a lot of peers around that age always talk about how they aren't ready for kids and you are under the impression that your life is over once you have a child . Which is the farthest thing from the truth . You will be so in love it will be unreal . And that love just thrives more and more with each smile and giggle and milestone. I honestly didn't go out until my son was about 2. That was my choice . I did leave him for a weekend with my parents while me and his dad went to the beach but we were so lonely without him ! It's all about a balance and it is also important to try not to lose yourself . You will be a fabulous mother !! Don't worry too much!
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  • jem89jem89 member
    I don't really think that anyone is fully ready to handle parenthood. It is scary and overwhelming at any age. I was 22 with my first and I am 25 now with my third. Each one is intimidating and I would be lying if I said that I feel less nervous now, at 25 lol. The experience of meeting your baby and everything else that comes with motherhood is so intensely amazing! You are going to love this and the fact that you are nervous means that you will do what you must for this child. I always remind myself that I am the only mother chosen for my babies so I must be the right one ;)
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  • batmom05batmom05 member
    I was 18 when I had my son. I was in no way prepared and it was a crash course in life. We struggled plenty and it was hard, but we did just fine.

    I got myself and education, a good job and met my amazing husband. My son and I have an incredible bond. At almost 10, he is my best little buddy!

    I'm 28 now, married with a good job, a house and working in my masters degree and I still have days where I wonder if I'm too young and not prepared.

    As long as you make the best decisions you can with what you have and always put your child first, you will be just fine!
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  • koriemokoriemo member
    I think everyone feels too young the first time around!
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  • amberrmariee20amberrmariee20 member
    @SDuodu I was 18 when I had my first, I'm not 22 having my 2nd ! Your not too young !
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  • nmatheny14nmatheny14 member
    Too late if you are ;) Just kidding! I'm 28 and feel in over my head, too. Especially with twins. I think it's normal. I'm sure you'll do great! It's overwhelming for anyone, I don't think age really matters.
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  • LM1007LM1007 member
    I don't think you're to young. I sometimes worry too, I'm 19, but I feel ready enough. I was lucky to get a great job right out of school, and now I'm working full time and putting myself through college full time. The baby wasn't planned but I have been with my amazing boyfriend for a little over 2 years and were both stable enough to have a child. I'm so nervous, but excited for this new obstacle lol
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  • Dreamingmommy4Dreamingmommy4 member
    I was 21 with my first and am 23 now with my second. If you feel you are ready then you're ready. Age doesn't matter. Just think, a couple generations ago, it was normal to drop out of high school and get married at 16 and start popping out kids. All my grandmas did that. Good luck and let me just say it's awesome being a young mom! :)
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  • sierranicole1997sierranicole1997 member
    cmsim95 said:

    I don't think age has to do with anything. In my opinion, if you are stable and mature enough to raise a child, go for it! I am 19 and can't wait to have my baby! I was raised around kids and helped raise kids as I grew up, so I know what I am going to be dealing with. So, congratulations and don't sike yourself out mama! You will do perfectly fine(:

    You took the words right out of my mouth . That's exactly what I was thinking when I opened the post .
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  • StacieGleStacieGle member
    I just turned 23 when my first was born. He wasn't planned, I was terribly nervous at the time, terrified of being a mom and worried about messing up but once he got here he turned my world upside down in the best way possible.  He is the best thing that happened to me.  Being a young mom is fun, enjoy your baby and have fun and don't worry too much!   
    Momma to 3 amazing boys: 12, 8 & 1

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  • CarmofrapCarmofrap member
    I hope not. haha I'm 22 pregnant with my second child, third pregnancy. I was married at 18. My Husband is 29 now so maybe that's what keeps me from being too young :P I've never felt to young for my son. He has been an incredible blessing for my life and marriage. I've met 30 year olds who cannot give up what is stereotypically the 20's lifestyle. Age does not define maturity.
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  • jenboston22jenboston22 member
    edited April 2015
    I personally feel that 22 is a bit too young, but I'm sure everything will be fine for you. You'll likely at least have more energy than me (at 30)! You can also always wait a while before having another. In general, though, I do feel that it is best to be stable before starting a family (when possible -- obviously surprise pregnancies do happen). So, married, one or both parents with stable careers and/or good job prospects, both parents mature and able to discuss things rationally, etc. Usually -- but not always -- these things happen after the age of 22.

    ETA: The above post has caused offense to some fellow posters who I greatly respect, so I want to apologize. I was generalizing about the pre-22/post-22 thing, which I shouldn't do. It's just that the 22 years olds I've known aren't quite ready to be parents (including myself at 22! haha), but it could certainly be my region and/or the particular young 20-somethings I've known. I think regardless of age, when you're truly stable and ready, go ahead and make the commitment. Some people are ready sooner than others. Just be sure you're ready :)
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  • amberrmariee20amberrmariee20 member
    @jenboston22 I had my first baby 4 days before my 29th bday ! This baby will be born 3 weeks after my 23rd bday !
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  • jenspeakejenspeake member
    I'm 38 and feel this way!!  Scared and am I ready!?
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  • VioletandRoseVioletandRose member
    jenspeake said:

    I'm 38 and feel this way!!  Scared and am I ready!?

    Agree. I'm 35 and feel this way. I think it is a natural feeling for FTM's no matter what the age. It might be even worse because I am so set in my ways. Obviously I really want a baby and always have, but as soon as I got pregnant I thought about all the things I've been wanting to do that I haven't had a chance to yet, the places I want to travel, the changes to my routine, etc.
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  • jenspeakejenspeake member
    edited April 2015
    @violetandrose I totally agree.  After 38 years of doing whatever I wanted when I wanted for so long.....it's going to be quite a change!  But wanting a baby trumps that!
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  • MamaOwl15MamaOwl15 member
    Back when our grandparents were having kids, everyone had babies at 22 or so. And in some areas, that's still somewhat common.

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  • erynmberynmb member
    I'll be 22 next month! I don't think we're too young at all... Sometimes I don't feel very prepared though, my pregnancy was completely unplanned. Actually got pregnant the first time I slept with SO. So we're not married, but I know we'll be just fine. He already has a daughter and is the most amazing dad, I know even if we don't stay together he will always be there for the baby. And new flash whoever said you should be married before having children... Marriage doesn't mean you'll stay together forever nor does it insure the best environment for a child to be raised in. My parents got married when I was about 4, I am the oldest child of four and they fought all the fricken time. It was completely unstable and violent. My siblings and I used to wish they would just actually get divorced and stop "crying wolf" all the time.
    So I think as long as you love this baby with all your heart and give it everything you can, try your best to raise it in a stable environment, if that's by yourself, married or with your SO everything will be fine.
    Btw I had a "young mom" she had me at 21 and she's my best friend still to this day. She's always be able to relate to me better than my friends with older moms and we've just always been super close. Don't get me wrong, she was still strict as hell sometimes but her advice and opinions just always made more sense to me then what my friends mother had to say. I think being a young mom has a lot of advantages actually.
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  • jenboston22jenboston22 member
    edited April 2015
    @MelMel92 -- I apologize; I didn't mean to offend you. Maybe it is where I'm from; most people I know are still in college/grad school at 22 and/or partying a lot; not settled down, married, and making $92k a year. So, maybe it's a regional thing? Regardless, you sound completely ready and with your life in order! I truly didn't mean to judge any specific person. Sorry about that.
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  • tate62610tate62610 member
    It's normal, girl. I was 25 when I got pregnant with our first. I felt like we were too young because everyone always told us to enjoy our twenties blah blah blah. But, I'll be 28 when this little one arrives and it's our last so I'm glad to have the energy of my twenties to keep up with my kiddos :)
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  • VioletandRoseVioletandRose member
    MelMel92 said:

    I dont know where youre from, but where im from most 22 year olds are able to provide a stable, loving environment, so I kind of take offense to this statement. 
    We conceived when I was 22, at which point we were married, had talked for ages about our opinions on parenting, and my husband (24) is making $92k a year. We had decided prior to us getting conceiving that I'd be a stay at home mom, and easily worked out a budget for ourselves. And guess what? We're not the exception. At. All. If anything it's the other way around.
    I know I probably shouldnt be this ticked off by your message, but I'm rather hormonal today and I cant stand it when people stereotype based on, well, nothing. 

    Ok…(deep breath)…but your post ticked ME off.
    I don’t think it’s an unacceptable stereotype considering that the average salary for a male between 20-24 is less than $28K/year. However, no one is saying that a 22-year-old is incapable of being a parent. Certainly some are, however, is it a good idea? Personally, I don’t think so. I graduated from college and had a full time job by age 22, and throughout my 20’s built and established a career, traveled the world, paid all of my bills without the help of my parents (or a man), purchased a home, established with clarity what I was/was not looking for in a partner and most importantly, had invaluable life experiences that I could never have had with a child. Not to mention, it formed me into a person I believe will be a better parent than I could at 22. Money is not everything. So yes, I could have technically raised a child at child in my early 20’s, but would not have traded those years for the world – or a child. And no matter if I have a boy or girl, I would strongly encourage them to take advantage of their twenties as well.

    I’d gather to say that you live in a very small bubble if most of your friends in their early 20’s are having children and/or making as much as your husband. I can assure you that in my circle, and in most other social circles, you would have been the exception.
    Furthermore, was it really necessary to post your husband’s salary?
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  • booksunshinebooksunshine member
    I'm 21 And My Husband Is 35. Age Is A Number And Doesn't Define Your Mothering Skills And Don't Let Anyone EVER Tell You Otherwise.
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  • MelMel92MelMel92 member
    edited April 2015
    VioletandRose said:

    MelMel92 said:

    I dont know where youre from, but where im from most 22 year olds are able to provide a stable, loving environment, so I kind of take offense to this statement. 
    We conceived when I was 22, at which point we were married, had talked for ages about our opinions on parenting, and my husband (24) is making $92k a year. We had decided prior to us getting conceiving that I'd be a stay at home mom, and easily worked out a budget for ourselves. And guess what? We're not the exception. At. All. If anything it's the other way around.
    I know I probably shouldnt be this ticked off by your message, but I'm rather hormonal today and I cant stand it when people stereotype based on, well, nothing. 

    Ok…(deep breath)…but your post ticked ME off.
    I don’t think it’s an unacceptable stereotype considering that the average salary for a male between 20-24 is less than $28K/year. However, no one is saying that a 22-year-old is incapable of being a parent. Certainly some are, however, is it a good idea? Personally, I don’t think so. I graduated from college and had a full time job by age 22, and throughout my 20’s built and established a career, traveled the world, paid all of my bills without the help of my parents (or a man), purchased a home, established with clarity what I was/was not looking for in a partner and most importantly, had invaluable life experiences that I could never have had with a child. Not to mention, it formed me into a person I believe will be a better parent than I could at 22. Money is not everything. So yes, I could have technically raised a child at child in my early 20’s, but would not have traded those years for the world – or a child. And no matter if I have a boy or girl, I would strongly encourage them to take advantage of their twenties as well.

    I’d gather to say that you live in a very small bubble if most of your friends in their early 20’s are having children and/or making as much as your husband. I can assure you that in my circle, and in most other social circles, you would have been the exception.
    Furthermore, was it really necessary to post your husband’s salary?
    Again, that likely depends on where youre from. I have worked long hard days since I was 14, have never been one to hold up my hand for anyone else to pay my bills, and I have traveled the world by my own means, which again is pretty standard where I'm from (which is an island in Europe, so has a very different culture than the US does.) For us, its normal to be matured and done partying around 19-20, I took advantage of my teens, and am now in my cultures way taking advantage of my twenties, and who are you to judge that by saying you think its a wrong idea? I've lived in many a different country in my life and have thus met a lot of different people, this country being the first where people in their 20's arent all ready for children, which fair enough, is likely due to culture, but saying that in "most other social circles" one thing is the norm.. I dont feel thats justified. 
    Was it neccesary to post a number? With the amount of times I've been judged in this country for us being "young" and me being a stay at home mom, and how we couldnt possibly be living any kind of decent life, yes, yes it was. 

    Now I'm going to go take a deep breath and resist the urge to unsub. Many posts have been ticking me off lately. So mono-cultural, getting real tired of this. Why judge another persons culture, just because it doesnt line up with yours? >.>
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  • jenboston22jenboston22 member
    edited April 2015
    Completely OT @MelMel92, but I didn't realize you're from Europe! And an island, too. That's cool. (I love to travel, but I've only been able to get to Europe once so far.) I'm from the US (as I'm guessing are most people who post here).

    And, please don't unsubscribe! Sorry posts have been ticking you off lately... maybe just stepping away for a few days will help? I think I've been spending too much time on these boards lately myself...
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  • savsimonsavsimon member
    edited May 2015
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  • mrsdhouse89mrsdhouse89 member
    I had my son ten days after turning 22. If you look young like I did, you'll get looks from people in the store with their judgmental stares - don't pay them any attention. As long as you are doing what you need to and baby is good then you aren't too young. My son who is now four is well taken care of and has been our priority since he was born. You'll do great and prove wools wrong.
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  • amberrmariee20amberrmariee20 member
    @MelMel92 I didn't drink much at 19 either which is the legal age in Canada, I had my son at 18, 4 days before my 19th birthday. And where I'm from its popular to see 16-26 year olds, some even older go out drinking every weekend and get babysitters for their kids. But I don't, even before I got pregnant with this baby I was never into drinking or partying, maybe on special occasions but my parents loved me, but they also taught me responsibility and Independence ! I did most everything on my own ! I agree being young doesn't mean you'll be a bad mother ! I guess young people are just generalized into a category of how most are immature and have no sense of responsibility :/ !
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  • millette2015millette2015 member
    I don't think age is the important factor here - saying someone is too young to have a child is just as bad as saying someone is too old. As long as you are ready and able to have a child, are able to provide what it takes to have a child, and able to make the required sacrifices having a child comes with, then you are "old enough". I know many 30 year olds who are SO FAR from ready to have children because of an unwillingness to sacrifice their lifestyle. Or 30 year olds who live below the poverty line but are fantastic parents and would do anything for their children. Your age isn't the important part. Just because someone doesn't fit into the box of how I decided to go about having children doesn't mean that their approach is wrong and they're going to be bad parents. 
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