please delete — The Bump
Baby Showers

please delete

trytry38evertrytry38ever
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edited May 2015 in Baby Showers
thank you all for your comments yes I am a big brat thank you. I am sorry to have posted my views without being able to get the point I was trying. I rewrote my post several times trying to come up with the best way to not sound bratty but it never did. What I was trying to say in the first place was if anyone felt as a failure to their host because they spent so much time and effort in the babyshower. Way more then I expected or would want her to spend on me and feel guilty. Yes in original post and edit I brought up the fact that the presents I recieved where not equal in value to how much she spent. However the idea to my post was feeling as if I gave her nothing to show for her efforts. A big failure I feel like. Yes the party was fun and I equate spending time with family and friends in high value but I feel terrible that she did so much and would never have asked her to do that nor would I have wanted her to do so much for me so I feel like I owe her big time and I could never do so. Thank you again on your comments and point of views. I will not longer be active on this posting and thank you all for participating next time I will do a draft of my post so that I can get what I meant a crossed or probaly not post after all.

Re: please delete

  • I don't mean to be bratty in the least but I recently had a babyshower in which my MIL hosted she spent over $500 on it. 25 people only 5 of which I did not expect anything came and lots more where unable to make it. Out of all that I only received 10 gifts 2 of which where religious from 2 different religions one a book and another a roseary. My DH and I are not religious and neither our families. The rest was clothes and blankets I would say the average that most people spent was 10 dollars as in one outfit or blanket from each gift. Yes I know how much clothes and blankets can cost however these where not the expensive ones. I am sorry but if I go to a babyshower I know to bring a gift and with any party I go to I will spend about 20 dollars on those I don't really know personally and more for those I do know. Honestly I feel bad because even though I did not make my MIL host the party or spend that much it was a humongous waste of money.

    I'm sorry that you're feeling this way.

    I think a certain amount of......disappointment is natural. As humans, we're not perfect. So we do things like get our expectations up even when we know we shouldn't.

    That said, you never look a gift horse in the mouth. Your MIL shouldn't have told you how much the shower was. And even if she dropped 1k on it, that doesn't mean you should have gotten more expensive gifts. You do not know the financial situation of every guest there. $10 dollars might have been all they could afford. There are plenty of Mom's out there who have never gotten a shower, and who get by with less. You had a shower, you received gifts, people physically came to show love and support. So, take a day and be mopey. And then get over it and write gracious thank you cards.
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    soberrysweetsschwegedees14DrillSergeantCat
  • I don't mean to be bratty in the least...




    ... but people shoulda bought me more stuff, and better.
    bbiutmcphgabbymarriott
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  • 10 people used their time and money to get you gifts for the lifeyou created and are responsible for? How awful. Why would you think that sounds bratty?
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  • Thank you all for your comments I expected lots of negative comments and will be editing my post to be a little clearer on what I was meaning in posting this. I went off on a tangent by putting in details and stuff that where not to the point I was addressing. For those who say at least I had a baby shower. Even in ancient times gifts where always part of the baby shower either to a goddess or to mother of child depending on area or religion to help with the babies growth. So showing up to a babyshower empty handed would be in my point of view more rude then not going. In editing my post and taking out my personal opinion using just the facts it might make some previous post sound weird but they are not wrong in saying what they want to as they are in their right to their own opinion.
  • I can't figure out how a shower cost $500 to host. Are you used to that kind of extravagance?
  • A baby shower is not a return on investment opportunity.  Period.

    sschwege
  • No I would have expected like a backyard BBQ if anything. That's the point I was trying to get across. That is so much money it is crazy I now feel obligated to pay her back since I could not give her anything to show for her money. I even asked her if she would like me to give her money because she spent so much she said no but I am sure she does need help. I do not think she expected to spend that much either I guess it just added up at the end. So now I feel so bad that I want to pay her back but still have to buy lots of stuff for our baby since we did not recieve much in our shower. So instead of just buying everything for the baby which me and my DH where prepared to do I need to find a way to give her something for the shower 500 dollars is to much for anyone to spend.
  • No I would have expected like a backyard BBQ if anything. That's the point I was trying to get across. That is so much money it is crazy I now feel obligated to pay her back since I could not give her anything to show for her money. I even asked her if she would like me to give her money because she spent so much she said no but I am sure she does need help. I do not think she expected to spend that much either I guess it just added up at the end. So now I feel so bad that I want to pay her back but still have to buy lots of stuff for our baby since we did not recieve much in our shower. So instead of just buying everything for the baby which me and my DH where prepared to do I need to find a way to give her something for the shower 500 dollars is to much for anyone to spend.

    STOP.

    You're MIL's financial situation is not your concern. Do you have any idea how insulting that is to be told "You spent too much on this, let me pay you back?" By the person you were trying to honor? You're basically telling her she wasted her money, you didn't want it, and that it wasn't worth it. YOU LOOK EVEN MORE UNGRATEFUL DOING THIS. STOP. 
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    bbiutmcphsschwegeSassenach1743arhfirst92
  • What in the fresh hell?
    bbiutmcphqueenwogaleecats
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