Raising a bilingual child

l7e7c7 · May 2015

My husband and I have different first languages and would like our child to speak both. Mine is English and his is Spanish, but we both speak both. Does anyone have any experience raising a bilingual child? I've read a lot and some people say that each parent should only use their first language all the time with the child. Some other research suggests using the 'foreign' language (Spanish for us since we live in the US) in the home all the time and then English when we are out of the house. Anyone with advice? Thanks!

saveinsincity · May 2015

With my DD, we spoke to her in English and grandma spoke to her in spanish. She understood both but spoke mainly in English. Since she started school we have introduced more Spanish me and DH and she is better at conversation. Buy understands very well both.
hope that helps

LiveNLove44 · May 2015

I don't have experience raising a bilingual child, but I am a literacy specialist and can give you some feedback on overall language development in the early years. For any child, language development is accelerated through incidental word learning. Engage your child in conversations starting when they are just born. They obviously won't respond with words, but they are soaking in the language. In my work, I know that children who come into kindergarten with two languages do best when immersed in both in many different realms of life. For instance, your child will thrive if you are reading to him/her, having conversations with him/her at home and outside the home, and having conversations with others in the presence of your child in both languages. Using both languages in all of those contexts supports that the languages are each used for the same purposes (literacy, family conversations, formal conversations, etc.).

An interesting point that you might look into so you're prepared: we often find that children who are learning two languages at once will learn both more slowly than they would if they were learning one. Parents often think that this is indicative of a cognitive delay or problem, but if you think about it, the brain is doing twice the work, so it makes sense. There is a point, sometimes early to mid-elementary school where children who are learning two languages go from being at the lower end of reading achievement to the higher end. It's like a switch flips! It's a very good thing to do for your child, but it's important to be ready for the first years to be different in terms of development (you might not notice this as much as an educator might due to the volume of children they see).

I wish DH or I spoke a second language fluently so we could support this development, too!

nadivalenzuela · May 2015

I plan on teaching the baby both languages also and Im always reading things related to it. @LiveNLove44 explanation is really good!!!! Easy to understand

naka92 · May 2015

We'll be raising our child bilingual as well, as id like him or her to be able to communicate with my half of the family (Dutch). Im kind of scared about pulling that off since DH doesnt speak my language either and hasn't really shown any interest in learning it himself. It'll be.. Interesting to say the least.

Thanks for the information, @LiveNLove44, really appreciate that

zetlopez · May 2015

That's great information @LivNLove44. My husband and I want to raise our child bilingual as well and this information helps. Our challenge is that only I know Spanish, but I honestly never speak it. I get embarrassed bc I'm not as fluent as I'd like. It'll be a challenge for me to force myself to speak it, but it will be worth it.

gabrielafrnqyepez · May 2015

Ds is 7 hes almostbdone with 1st grade he goes to a public school ive seen both his first grade and kinder teachers complain to say the least about the kids that didn't speak English going into school specially in kinder. The issues I saw too was the fact that the parent didn't speak English just their native language. @liveandlove44 as an expert do you feel that this might affect them in the psychological way? I saw both parent and child get kinda mocked and made fun off to a certain extend a very unprofessional things but then I also saw it coming from the students. I know you said to speak both languages and that does make a lot of scence. But I was just curious because my 2 brothers age 2and 6m are being raised in a all Spanish home, I often tell my father he needs to introduce English as well because of what I've seem with ds.

cgummie · May 2015

From my experience, code switching is something that takes a while to get the hang of. It can be tricky-- you may speak in Spanish, but the child answers in English. Or the daycare aide asks an English question and the child uses Spanish. They may not understand which is which. Its all just words to them. They'll sort it out with trial and error.

You'll get very jumbled sentences, too. I saw it a lot working with Pre-K bilingual kids. If they don't know or can't remember a word, they'll mix in a "substitute" from the other language. Makes it difficult for monolingual caregivers.

In the end, it's worth it. Its much easier to have a native accent and more natural sentence structure when they learn very young. Its amazing what our brains can do.

gabrielafrnqyepez · May 2015

I must say OP great question and @LiveNLove44 great insight , its nice to get such a well versed professional and friendly answer!

naka92 · May 2015

@cgummie Ive always found that pretty funny actually, kids are so darn adorable when they use both languages! My mom cleans the home of a family from England that now lives in the Netherlands, and shes very friendly with them all. They raise their kids bilingual, and the youngest hasnt quite gotten the hang of switching yet. Mom will ask him something in Dutch and get a scrambled answer, or an answer entirely in English, its just so cute!!

I can see that becoming an issue with our kids though, since DH doesnt speak dutch, but eh, he'll either learn or be talked about by us right in front of him

loveleighmami · May 2015

My children are bilingual and I would recommend using as much Spanish at home as possible. They will easily pick up English.

millette2015 · May 2015

All my nieces are bilingual (French and English). Their parents approach was to just use French at home until they entered school (a French school). By that time, they are at an age where it is extremely difficult to limit their English exposure, and they picked up English very quickly just from their peers who spoke it, television, around town, etc. I also work in the school system with bilingual children and have seen that those that are most successful have exposure to both languages at home when school-aged (if doing school in both languages, or in the language that is not their first language).

l7e7c7 · May 2015

Muchas gracias! Great responses from everyone. I can't wait to watch the LO figure it all out!

LiveNLove44 · May 2015

Ds is 7 hes almostbdone with 1st grade he goes to a public school ive seen both his first grade and kinder teachers complain to say the least about the kids that didn't speak English going into school specially in kinder. The issues I saw too was the fact that the parent didn't speak English just their native language. @liveandlove44 as an expert do you feel that this might affect them in the psychological way? I saw both parent and child get kinda mocked and made fun off to a certain extend a very unprofessional things but then I also saw it coming from the students. I know you said to speak both languages and that does make a lot of scence. But I was just curious because my 2 brothers age 2and 6m are being raised in a all Spanish home, I often tell my father he needs to introduce English as well because of what I've seem with ds.

@gabrielafrnqyepez, when it comes to "mocking" from students, I think the number one thing to remember is that all humans, especially children, don't understand what they've never experienced. Oftentimes in the early years, this can mean that students' peers will poke fun at differences of any kind (e.g., teeth, walk, nose, speech, weight, etc.). Children are still learning boundaries, and I notice that through the end of elementary school, it's a steep learning curve for all of them. As a parent of a bilingual child, it is obviously important for your child to be able to comfortably communicate in the language in which they'll be educated. If you've run into challenges with your son at school, I'd imagine that it could be that he's more comfortable with one language over the other, and in this case, it isn't the one in which he's expected to know for educational purposes at school.

When it comes to preparing your child for facing peers' comments about being bilingual, it's important to remain positive and remind them that not everyone will know two languages. Help them to feel proud of their languages (both, not just one) and support them as much as you can with the balance. As with any differences in our children, it's important to not tell them other kids are not as special as they are. This can lead to greater problems when interacting with peers. Instead as parents, we can praise individuality and respecting the wonderful differences that we all bring to the community in which we live.

Vanessa226 · May 2015

My siblings and I were raised in a bilingual house. We always spoke Spanish to our mom and English to our dad. None of us had any issues in school. My sister and I have maintained our Spanish skills. My brother on the other hand has not. He understands Spanish but doesn't speak it very well. I think it's great to raise kids bilingual but it's going to be up to them to continue practicing it as adults.

Sbrouwer0706 · May 2015

I am not bilingual but I work at a school where 80% of our students are EL (English learners). Most of them were raised in homes that only spoke Spanish and the community is mainly Spanish speaking as well so entering school a lot of them struggle because they have not had much exposure to English yet. If they are exposed to both regularly they will have more of an advantage. Depending on where you live, knowing Spanish is a huge advantage as they grow up. As @LiveNLove44 said, their overall language development may seem a little "slower" than what a parent might expect but they are being exposed to double the language than many of their peers are.

I know it's far off for education but I would also look into the schools in your area and see if any are dual immersion schools. We have quite a few in our area because California has a very large Spanish speaking population. If you aren't familiar with dual immersion, the students are taught in both Spanish and English. Some schools are different on how they go about this but a school I used to work in was 50/50 on English and Spanish instruction. Might be something you're interested in if it's available in your area

nrocke129 · May 2015

I am not bilingual. My roommate in college kinda was. I say kinda because her parents were not consistent with both. She was 4th out of 7 children. They used to speak only the native language at home and with relatives. Because they did not get a lot of exposure to English the older ones had a lot of problems in school. They started switching to mainly English at home. By the time my roommate was in college she had barely any of the native language left. Give each language equal exposure in and out of the house.

justyh · May 2015

I have to learn Spanish with my little one

ChristyD6 · May 2015

My husband has been speaking in Turkish to our daughter from birth. When I'm home he's speaks English. I've actually tried to encourage him to use more Turkish with her. We are going to Turkey next week and I'm so curious to see how she does around her relatives that don't speak any English!

loveleighmami · May 2015

In my area, most people were raised by parents that only spoke Spanish at home and most of them did better in school than I did (raised in an English speaking home). I took advanced classes, and they were in those classes too. My daughters are also in honors and advanced clases so I don't see how speaking Spanish at home puts anyone at a disadvantage. Kids will end up watching TV in English, go to church in English, etc. There are plenty of opportunities to pick up English also before they start school.

Dual langue schools typically offer a good program, just make sure the school is well rounded and not focusing only on language.

jenn2132 · May 2015

My husband speaks Spanish fluently and was raised by his parents two native Spanish speakers. I was raised by my mom who was fluent in Spanish and my dad who was not so I grew up understanding some Spanish (mainly due to my grandparents) but not being able to speak it. My husband and I wanted to raise our children bilingual but because we speak English on our home we knew it would be difficult. Luckily we have a dual immersion k-8 school here that teaches curriculum in both English and Spanish. It has been amazing to see how quickly these children can learn a second language especially at such a young age. My eldest son is finishing up 6th grade and my youngest 1st grade and they both have made steady progress and my eldest can carry conversation pretty easily in Spanish with with Spanish speaking relatives. We love this school!

alinic916 · May 2015

My husband is Serbian but I only know the very basics. I am hoping he will be able to teach our child to speak it so he or she can communicate with his non English speaking family. I would love to learn more as well but it's a hard language! I'm trying! I know there will come the day when our kid speaks it way better than I do!

rabiaroo · May 2015

I live in Turkey and my husband is Turkish so we will be bringing up our kids with both languages, or that's the plan anyway! I plan to go with me speaking English and his speaking Turkish so they don't learn the mistakes that we both have with each other's language, although we're both pretty fluent.

It was good to read that it can make progression a little slower to start. Friends of mine have struggled with this.

jenboston22 · May 2015

We'll be raising our children to speak English (native to both of us) and Tamil (an Indian language native to my husband; at the moment I can only speak a few words of it). I'm not really sure how to best go about this, but I imagine we'll figure it out.

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