Um, awkward question

tate62610 · April 2015

Hopefully this does not get out of hand. Today I was scolded by an older woman in HEB for using a racial slur as a nickname for my child. I said "alright monkey it's time to go." I have almost always called her monkey because, I don't know, it's cute.

Have I missed something??! Is this not okay now? Am I secretly offending others?

If not, then, WHAT THE EFF????

Rikki_5 · April 2015

that's strange. I don't think monkey is a slur...lol... in fact, the husband on Secrets and Lies calls his little girl Monkey. I think it's cute. Some people are just hypersensitive.

bethanyjane26 · April 2015

No! I think it's cute!
Kids are like little monkeys, hanging all over you and being silly.
She can mind her own business!!

mmcknight · April 2015

Monkey was a slur for African Americans back when my great grandparents were alive. I haven't heard it used in modern day though. I would keep calling her monkey if you want. Some people just like to stir up trouble.

MirandaC1984 · April 2015

I don't think it is offensive at all. However, if you work with this person. I'd try not to use that term at work. You never know what you might get in trouble for!

tate62610 · April 2015

Thank God! I was in utter shock and still trying to comprehend what she was saying to me that I couldn't even really respond with anything more than "uh....oh..." Then I just started feeling a little pissed but then slightly embarrassed that I've possibly missed something and have been offending others just too nice to say anything.

How weird that she would say that to me....weird and random.

momming247 · April 2015

Yea it was and is used as an offensive term for African Americans. Some even used it to criticize the first family...however I'm sure no mom would be calling their child something offensive. In the case of "monkey" the offender is well aware if they are being using it as a slur. In all other cases it's used the same was some call their SO bear.

nsaid4u · April 2015

I am aware that people find the term offensive but people can find almost anything offensive these days.my husband's family is African and no one has ever mentioned being offended by that term and most of us in the family call the little ones monkeys. Just as someone else mentioned they do act exactly like monkeys :-)

tate62610 · April 2015

That's what I always thought. Okay, I feel so much better now. Thanks yall. I'm just going to chalk this up to a weird day. Today has been....off and odd.

satindawl83 · April 2015

I'm black and I don't think anything is offensive about calling your own child monkey.

Now, if you were to call another parent's child monkey...especially, if they're black, that'd be a problem!

Don't worry about it.

Sweetpea192 · April 2015

I call my boys "cheeky lil monkeys" when they are being mischievous lol. I don't think there is anything wrong with. It's meant with no malice intended so I'd say don't worry about it

bgriest · April 2015

I wouldn't worry about it! I think it's obnoxious when people scold others for something they feel is wrong. Unless you asked for someone's opinon or your child's life is somehow endangered or you're harming someone then it's none of people's business.

Monkey is a cute nickname. I'm 27 and have a friend who calls me monkey and her boyfriend and child are African American.

Dreamingmommy4 · April 2015

Umm...if monkey is a racial slur that's news to me. I call my DD monkey all the time! I think she's just crazy.

missey981 · April 2015

I used to call my son jigga boo. My husband said it was a racial slur. In no way shape or form have I ever intentionally made radical slurs to anyone

tate62610 · April 2015

Thank you! All of you!

I called my mom about it and she couldn't stop laughing and saying "what?! What?!"

babealertz · April 2015

You can definitely call your kid "monkey" and not be racist. However, she was not wrong that it can be used that way. Take a look at the thousands of racist cartoons about the Obama family that compare them to monkeys. Or read about European soccer fans throwing banana peels at black players. It's a real thing and it's huge. I guess it's a sign of progress that so many people here have never heard of this, but
I'm black and was aware of "monkey" being used as a racial slur from a very young age.

Anyway, that lady should have minded her own business.

wildbutterfli2001 · April 2015

I call my son my silly monkey all the time. That lady needs to get the stick out of her ass and mind her own business. Talk about taking things out of context Holy moly!

tate62610 · May 2015

Oh, yeah, I know monkey can be used as a racial slur. I just didn't think the word was off limits, period haha. I'm glad to know it's not and that I haven't been sounding like a huge douche the last 18 months.

lovearoo · May 2015

Not everything is about race. Of course it CAN be used as a slur. Are you going to be calling your child names? Of course not. Obviously it's just a cute little nickname and she should mind her own business.

vamomtobe · May 2015

Here's MY embarrassing story - growing up, I thought that the term "porch monkey" referred to people, usually older folks, who sit out on their front porches all day and people-watch. It is, however, a very racist term. I did not learn this until COLLEGE when I used the word in reference to my friend and I hanging out on our apartment balcony all day and my friend was like, "um, what did you just say??" How did I use that term all the way through to young adulthood and not know.

With just "monkey" though, I think it's all about context as others have mentioned. Calling your kid monkey, totally fine! DH calls my son silly monkey when he gets hyper.

MotherOfDragons2015 · May 2015

Because of the origin I guess it could be offensive however being that its your OWN child a little odd someone would interpret it in that manner. Call your baby whatever term you deem loving. You know you meant no harm.

twogirlsandagreen · May 2015

My youngest has long arms so I call her my little monkey sometimes. Our nanny (like family) is black and has never said anything about it being offensive and she would tell me. Some people need to move on and worry about other things. My BFF has a 5year old who climbs anything and everythjng and she also calls her monkey

FrozenMommy · May 2015

Ugh, everyone gets offended so easily these days. I call mine peanut, will I get yelled at by a mom who's kid has nut allergies? Sheesh! If that happens again tell the person politely that what you call your child is none of her concern, have a nice day!

jenboston22 · May 2015

I agree with those who say it's about context -- with a child, it's cute, as they do act like little monkeys!

MamaOwl15 · May 2015

I call my son "monkey" all the time because he loves bananas and he's constantly climbing.

I think that's a far cry from using the word monkey as a racial slur. As @satindawl83 said, I'd be careful about calling anyone else's kid a monkey. I like in a predominately Black neighborhood, so even if I saw one of the kids climbing a lot, I'd avoid calling them a monkey.

Anyway, I also call my son "bug," "bear" and "silly goose." I feel like it's a stretch to assume that anyone calling their kid a monkey is doing so as a racial slur.

tracij12 · May 2015

I bought my DD a pair of pants that said monkey on the bum and my H never let me put them on her. I think it's adorable, but he finds it offensive so I try not to use it.

Wigglesx2 · May 2015

I've only ever met one person who found it offense to the point she returned any baby gift with monkeys on it and told my aunt to do the same (she's white but the baby was mixed).

I think it's fine. I would think something like that has to do with tone and why it's being said at this point in our history and by who.

Um, awkward question

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