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September 2015 Moms
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Poor pitty for baby daddy

kaynicole9191kaynicole9191 member
in September 2015 Moms
my boyfriend will be having a birthday in just a few weeks; his friends are throwing him a huge party because "this will
Be his last birthday to get shit faced wild & do whatever he wants to do." Are you effing kidding me ?!! My birthday is 12 days before my due date ! Do you see me whining about "my partying days are over" I was the damn queen of partying ! I lived for a good party & living that care free life. Now it's all about this child. It seems like women just don't do shit. No matter what your selfish. Pardon my language
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Re: Poor pitty for baby daddy

  • chelsea+summerchelsea+summer member
    "Now it's all about this child" ? Doesn't seem like your very pleased with being pregnant.
    Any how I do understand where your coming from. My partner still drinks and smokes and has his mates over. It's abit irritating because I feel left out. We all use to be really close and do these things together. But now I just feel like I can't have fun with them. Anyway it's for the good of our little bubbas! Good luck mumma
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  • nikkidavis421nikkidavis421 member

    Just because people have kids, doesn't mean they'll never be able to go out and have fun ever again! I have two kids, this is my third, and my husband and I still take the time to go out and have fun. We still celebrate our birthdays, we still drink and go to parties (obviously I don't drink when I'm pregnant but I do still go out with my husband and our friends and have a good time). Granted it's not as often as we used to before we had kids but when you "grow up" and start a family you have different priorities and different responsibilities. No, we don't get as shitfaced as we used to because we know that we have children to take care of after we send the babysitter home. It's all part of being a parent.

    As far as this party goes, it sounds like your bf's friends are maybe a little immature and don't have kids of their own if they think this will be his last birthday that he'll be able to party at but if they want to throw him the party, let them do it and you should go and have a good time, too.

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  • sphillips18sphillips18 member
    The baby isn't the end of your life. You just need to find a balance. I'm not much of a partier more except for the occasional rave but after I settle into motherhood I plan to make time for myself if possible. If your boyfriend wants to have a party and get plastered I don't see the issue. If my husband wanted to do the same I wouldn't stop him. But he's mature and responsible.
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  • kaynicole9191kaynicole9191 member
    Is not the fact that he wants to have a party; it's the fact his friends feel sorry for him because he's having. A kid. Which he chose to do. My life revolves around this kid. I don't want people at my house partying acting like idiots while I'm pregnant, cleaning up after all the fools. How does that mean I have growing up to do?! Because you should grow up and take care of your responsibilities without worrying about partying and chilling with your friends ! But yes you feel left out.. Glad someone half way sees where I was coming from. I don't care that he goes out and does fun stuff. But it's the fact that it's always about the cool stuff. Never about the family stuff. If you "weren't going to be able to oarty anymore" you shouldn't have created life if that's all u were going to worry about.
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  • kaynicole9191kaynicole9191 member
    And I'm
    More than blessed to be pregnant. I said " now it's all about this child" meaning my life revolves around my child already.
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  • MiromiMMiromiM member
    There are ways you can go out once the kid is born. There are baby sitters and some day cares allow hourly infant drop offs in the evening. You're not a bad person for wanting to go out, socialize, and drink like an adult even though you have/ are having a kid. I think that makes you a very normal person. Is there a way for one of your more trusted relatives to watch the kiddo and postpone your birthday party until after the birth? I'm not a partyer myself but I feel that when people don't get to do what really makes them happy and feel fulfilled/relaxed (within reason), it breeds resentment.
    *Siggy Warning*

    image


    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • excited2bmommy09excited2bmommy09 member
    My SO and I have been trying to find a good balance in this area as well. We have never been big partiers necessarily, but we always liked to go out and be social and drink with friends. Since being pregnant I have been having issues with feeling slightly resentful of the fact that he can still drink and smoke his cigars and do everything he has always done while I have given up alcohol, caffeine, my favorite raw sushi, etc...obviously this is necessary for pregnancy (with the exception of caffeine I know, personal choice) and I love my baby and would give up anything to ensure he stays healthy. But it is hard watching their lives stay so normal while ours change so much. Like you said, we made this decision together and I feel like he should sacrifice too hahaa. We discussed it and he drinks now when he does his guy night once a month and once in a while here and there, but has cut WAY back. 

    I'm not sure about you, but for me part of it was him just understanding and hearing my frustrations about things and once he got it I felt much better! Logically I know there is no reason why he should stop drinking, but him scaling back on it makes me feel like I'm getting moral support if that makes any sense. Just find a balance you are both comfortable with and communicate your feelings. We still do all the same stuff we have always done, we just don't do the drinking part right now. 
    image
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  • squigles28squigles28 member
    Oddly enough, because my husband isn't a big drinker I am encouraging him to let loose on our beach trip. I plan to make some yummy mocktails for myself!
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  • jmacd22jmacd22 member
    If none of his friends have kids I would see why they would feel like it's an occasion to throw him a bash. Your social life isn't over after a child but it does change. I think maybe you should let him have his day and see if they can have the party at a different location where you're not around so you don't feel left out. I've always let my husband go out with his friends and he lets me have my girls nights. It's a compromise.
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  • MousemamaMousemama member
    I agree with @WDDCH and @mcdonald-bailey. If his friends are throwing him the party, his friends should be the ones hosting it and cleaning up the mess. That can be your compromise: he can go out and have a big bash IF he takes a taxi home/stays at a friend's house AND you get a nice, quiet evening to watch movies, eat your favorite snacks, and don't have to deal with a bunch of drunk guys.
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  • sphillips18sphillips18 member
    I wouldn't let my husband party in our house. That's a big hell no lol if he wants to get drunk or whatever he can do it elsewhere!! So if his friends want to throw him a party tell them to take it somewhere else! I would be furious honestly.
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  • kvilla4kvilla4 member
    Yea I would get mad
    Iam throwing my hubby a man shower which is gonna be a fun gathering with me included
    There gonna drink Iam renting a room at Dave and busters
    But if he went alone and got stupid drunk I would hella mad
    We did all that before we got prego so I don't see my hubby having the need to do that
    But did you guys
    ?
    My hubby's bday is coming up on the 13 th and since the fight this weekend his friends are coming over but he doesn't know it's a bday surprise party also
    I got him a beer pong cake so I hope he likes it


    Did you talk to him about how you feel Iam blunt so I always speak my mind
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  • Kayciejoe56Kayciejoe56 member
    I feel your pain! Hubby and I did our share of going out and partying before we got pregnant. I still try to be a good sport when we have nights out with our friends, but I'm not gonna lie, I feel a little bitterness and left out that I can't have a cocktail too! I'm beyond excited to have our LO, but it's an adjustment to change the lifestyle you're accustomed to.

    Lots of DHs friends with kids tell him how he's not going to be able to go out anymore etc. I just don't buy it!!! I feel like their wives don't want to go out and use the kids as excuses. We have tons of family and will definitely not hesitate to call in some babysitting when we need a night out, and if we really want to live it up, it's totally ok for LO to do an overnight at grandma's!
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  • ehgmorseehgmorse member
    I'm so tired of hearing excuses and how the baby daddy who hasn't been presented or involved what so ever keeps saying I'm doing this now because I won't be able to later. Seriously grow up! It's comical to me at this point and I could careless what he does. He chose to move across country and kick me out once I got pregnant haha so he's delusional if he thinks he will be apart of this baby's life coming and going as he pleases. He's either in it or not no excuses none of this I'm gonna party and snowboard now me me me crap. Luckily from a legal standpoint I hold the cards. I'd love for him to be involved but all what I've been shown by him is he will not be and I'm more than ok with that. Either way though if I was in your shoes I'd be pissed doesn't sound like he's fully ready or has supportive friends of it. They all need to grow up.
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