Need Advise please!!!

AR25 · April 2015

i just had an amazing job interview and they seem to love me. Might get called for second interview in a day or so. My family really needs this job! I did a good job of concealing baby bump and did not mention my pregnancy, because I have done so upfront before and of course no call backs! So of course now I'm worried when to say something since I'm due July 22 and always seem to give birth a week early. It's a smaller company that has a huge project over the next 3 months and I would be taking over the admin job as she is moving on to help with the project. Should I tell them during the second interview which is with the CFO and Vice President? Should I wait until they make me an offer? Should I give it a month to prove myself (if they hire me) before saying something? I'm such an honest person but being too honest has hurt my chances at making money before the baby. Grrrr what would you do??

sschwege · April 2015

I would wait for an offer. They can not discriminate against you because you are pregnant, but if they find out ahead of time it's hard to imagine they wouldn't quietly count that against you.

lovermyboys · April 2015

I would not say anything. You are not lying you are just not telling

why don't you think you got any of the other jobs? Don't give these guys anymore credit. Pregnant women get discriminated against all the time in the work place.

AR25 · April 2015

Yes!!! It happen at my last job. 3 weeks after telling them I was fired. So I got a lawyer.

rnasir · April 2015

I am exactly in the same boat as you are... I know how you feel... But don't tell as of yet.. Wait until you have an offer... I am in canada and we get 15 weeks of mat leave and I will take the whole share of parental leave coming to a period of 52 weeks in total. I am 26 weeks pregnant and when I interviewed I was 16 weeks. I want to wait till my probation is over but now I can't hide it anymore so will most likely tell next week. If they fire me they will be doing so at my probationary review and I will have enough hours by then to qualify for employment insurance. So I would suggest not to worry and not tell them till you have the offer. This way even if they discriminate against you, you have evidence of an offer. Good luck and don't worry!!!

MEXARAB · April 2015

I wouldn't say anything. They shouldn't discriminate but they are likely to hire someone who won't be needing time off. Good luck!!!

sabisd · April 2015

I think I'm the only one with the opposite opinion. They are looking for someone for a specific time frame for a big project and it sounds like you would be leaving before it's done. As a director myself that manages a staff and hires, if I provided a specific timeline because we needed help I would be extremely dissaponted that the person wasn't honest with me, because if you can't commit to the three months maybe it is not the right job for you. It will probably hurt someone else in the company who has to pick up the work. I don't think it's discrimination if you can't commit to what they are specifically asking for, it means you are not a good fit and are mis-representjng yourself. I personally would feel like I was tricking them and would feel bad.

efunk21 · April 2015

@sabisd im kinda with you on this one. I'm a director and am currently hiring someone to join my team. I have very specific deliverables for the coming months and as the person managing the department I need to see these are met. I try and be as upfront about the position I am hiring for and I hope the candidates are equally honest.

Just a note of caution, if you decide not to tell until after the offer or hire you run the risk of loosing the trust of your supervisor right from the beginning, not exactly a great way to start a job.

AR25 · May 2015

sabisd said:
I think I'm the only one with the opposite opinion. They are looking for someone for a specific time frame for a big project and it sounds like you would be leaving before it's done. As a director myself that manages a staff and hires, if I provided a specific timeline because we needed help I would be extremely dissaponted that the person wasn't honest with me, because if you can't commit to the three months maybe it is not the right job for you. It will probably hurt someone else in the company who has to pick up the work. I don't think it's discrimination if you can't commit to what they are specifically asking for, it means you are not a good fit and are mis-representjng yourself. I personally would feel like I was tricking them and would feel bad.

AR25 · May 2015

Thank you. I'm so honest and I already feel bad that I didn't say anything. Guess it's time to sleep on it and figure out when and how to let them know. It breaks my heart because I feel like I'm ruining a chance to get my family back on track financially after being rock bottom for nearly a year. If it's meant to be it will be.

alanna7777 · May 2015

Tell them if you get the second interview and right vibe. I landed a job 13 weeks pregnant and was then contacted by another great opportunity over a month ago. When the new opportunity called I told the HR VP over the phone before the interview. Interviewed and was offered the position and am now finishing my 3rd week. It is 3 miles from mu house and they gave me more money. With one toddler and expecting our second it is a dream position and so close to home. Do what you feel is best. If it is meant to ve it will work out. Good luck!

AmommyB · May 2015

Given what you have said about the position (the special project etc.) I agree with the posters that being honest is the best policy. I did have a friend that was hired for a company when she told them on her second interview that she was expecting. I totally get the difficulty of the subject though. Despite what people in management or human resources say, unfortunately a pregnant women is a red flag. That is just the reality that we live in. You may initially have a hard time finding a company willing to take the risk but the good news is a decent company looking for a long term member can look past something like a pregnancy and see you for your long term value. I wish you the best of luck in your search. Who knows? Hopefully something good may come from you telling this company the whole truth and it won't be the scenerio you fear.

jessicayounghouse · May 2015

While I'm a firm believer that witholding the truth is lying, I would not mention anything until an offer is on the table.

sschwege · May 2015

AR25 said:
Thank you. I'm so honest and I already feel bad that I didn't say anything. Guess it's time to sleep on it and figure out when and how to let them know. It breaks my heart because I feel like I'm ruining a chance to get my family back on track financially after being rock bottom for nearly a year. If it's meant to be it will be.

If it were me and it was coming down to keeping my family afloat I would put my family first and not say a word until you have the offer. Family comes first and you can worry about the rest later. I am an extremely honest person and it would be hard for me too, but if you don't look out for the best interests of your family who will?

I had sort of a similar situation. For the last two years I was babysitting for a little boy in our home. Loved him, thought his parents were great, etc. We found out we were expecting before 4w, I didn't tell his mother until I was almost 13w. I felt bad but I have to look out for my family.

Need Advise please!!!

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