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July 2015 Moms
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People and Advice

MommyLane0406MommyLane0406 member
edited May 2015 in July 2015 Moms
Ok let me just start by saying I'm a FTM but I don't really consider myself a FTM with somethings. Because of the fact thst I had to help my brother raise his 2 boys; so I've had newborns and toddlers in my house full time and I also have been a daycare/preschool teacher for over 2 years. With all that being said I get a little irritated with people questioning my decisions and choices. For example I am apparently shielding my daughter too much because I don't want to take her out anywhere after she is born until she is at least 6 weeks old because sicknesses and germs. Or another person asked me if I thought to ask if I could color my hair because it would be ashame to hurt your unborn child over something so stupid as coloring your hair....
Why do people think they can say whatever they want to pregnant women like we are stupid and don't have a clue about anything? I mean I do a lot of research and reading plus I ask tons of questions so I'm knowledgeable and perpared....
So how do yall handle people and all the mean comments and condescending advice they give you???
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Re: People and Advice

  • chanielle14chanielle14 member
    I understand completely! I have a 4 year old set of twins.... People are still telling me oh it's going to be really tough and you'll never get any sleep. I'm really not nice about it. I just say I know, it's not my first set.... While very annoyed lol
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  • mrsrep123mrsrep123 member
    I try to not let it get to me or upset me. You can't control what other people do or say, unfortunately. With that being said, when I'm REALLY not in the mood or all my patience has already been used up, I give them the death stare and they pretty much shut up! Lol

    DS1 7/24/15

    DS2 5/7/17

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  • AmommyBAmommyB member
    Well I wish I could say it gets better with age but I'll be 40 this year and it doesn't. We live in an age where unfortunately most people feel the need to weigh in on everything...everything. You will probably continue to get unsolicited advice because no one knows how to keep their opinion to themselves. The best the way to combat this is to limit the information you put out there. This forum for example. There are a lot of women that will post a thread and then get extremely upset when someone disagrees or even challenges their intelligence based upon their opinion. But you're not going to make everyone happy all the time so getting bent out of shape over a stranger's opinion is really just hurting yourself. Trust your insticts, if you know you are doing right by your child don't look to to others for approval. If they offer advice that conflicts with your own beliefs/desires, let it roll off your shoulders. Sometimes easier said than done but once you get the hang of it you will feel better. Good luck :)
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  • rainbowBOOMrainbowBOOM member
    The last time that happened I said "Dr Beth, is that you? Oh, no, sorry I was mistaken, you're not my OB" And then walked away. I don't have time for all that non sense. I've also found I just stop telling people things. I smile and nod a lot.

    My CW who is also pregnant thought I was all but committing murder because I selfishly took unisom after barely sleeping a week straight. That I needed to suck it up because that's natures way of preparing me for the baby. First off, I couldn't sleep because of excruciating hip pain at 26 weeks. And two, no sleep is no sleep, you're never prepared for that. And three, she has never gotten another detail since that moment.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • rainbowBOOMrainbowBOOM member
    The last time that happened I said "Dr Beth, is that you? Oh, no, sorry I was mistaken, you're not my OB" And then walked away. I don't have time for all that non sense. I've also found I just stop telling people things. I smile and nod a lot.

    My CW who is also pregnant thought I was all but committing murder because I selfishly took unisom after barely sleeping a week straight. That I needed to suck it up because that's natures way of preparing me for the baby. First off, I couldn't sleep because of excruciating hip pain at 26 weeks. And two, no sleep is no sleep, you're never prepared for that. And three, she has never gotten another detail since that moment.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • CANTW82BMOMCANTW82BMOM member
    @rainbowBOOM you hit the nail right on the head. People feel the need to weigh in on EVERYTHING these days. It can be so annoying. I tend to be limited with the amount of information that I share in general just because I loathe unsolicited opinions. Nevertheless, this pregnancy has been bringing them out of the woodwork!

    So I'm planning a med free hospital birth. I haven't told many people that in real life because apparently it's frowned upon. *insert sarcasm. One of my husband's friend's wife asked me who my doctor is and I told her that I'm seeing a midwife. She's like "oh, do you want to try natural?" She then proceeded to tell me "don't be a martyr...just take the drugs." I literally ignored her.
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  • rainbowBOOMrainbowBOOM member
    How is having a birth plan being a martyr? I just wonder why I'm still surprised by people these days.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • jacmariecjacmariec member
    I'm lucky enough to be around mainly men. THANK GOODNESS! The only thing they care about is my bad habit of poking my popped belly button =)) I've only had a few family members and the occasional stranger give me tips. I "add that to my box of tricks" and move on. I'm just trying to prepare myself because I know it will get worse in 9 weeks when the baby is here!
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  • jespernoirjespernoir member
    My biggest issue is a certain family member who is pregnant also, a month ahead of me, and proceeds to comment on my fb everytime i post a symptom or complaint and she will without fail give me "advice", like i haven't done this before, like i'm a FTM >> GRRR it's getting really irritating but i try to be nice because i know she just means well. 
    DD1: 3.27.2003
    DD2: 9.7.2008
    DS: 8.4.2015


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  • jessicayounghousejessicayounghouse member
    One simple sentence.... Thank you, but I know what I'm doing.
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  • kate5allkate5all member
    OMG yes. I have a few friends who just became new moms and their absolute favorite past-time is to ask me questions about what I'm registering for or what my birth/parenting/feeding/whatever plans are and then proceed to tell me what I should REALLY do.

    @jacmariec I've found guys to be just as nosy! I had three different colleagues strike up conversations with me about breastfeeding this week alone. I'm so not comfortable talking about that stuff, but they all wanted to know if I plan on doing it and then proceeded to give me advice on getting a good latch.

    Being pregnant and dealing with peoples' reactions to it is so bizarre.

    image BabyFruit Ticker
    Married 10-15-2011
    BFP 10-30-2014
    Baby's due 7-08-2015
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