Is it appropriate/acceptable for a pregnant FTM to celebrate Mother's Day? — The Bump
September 2015 Moms

Is it appropriate/acceptable for a pregnant FTM to celebrate Mother's Day?

MiromiMMiromiM member
edited April 2015 in September 2015 Moms
I was wondering if it was appropriate/acceptable for a pregnant FTM to celebrate Mother's Day. Why or Why not? It's a question that's been on my mind the past few weeks, perhaps more so because I've been trying to get pregnant for a while and since Mother's Day is around the corner, I figured I would ask. :)

ETA: Please be respectful of other people's opinions.
*Siggy Warning*

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  • SarahG519SarahG519 member
    Accepted Answer
    I've told my husband that I expect something for Mother's Day lol, whether it be a card or flowers or whatever.  But I don't expect anything from anyone else.  I think it's just something that should be shared between the two of us.


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  • jen83mnjen83mn member
    Accepted Answer
    We don't plan on doing anything special other than spending time with our own mothers on Mother's Day, but I say if you feel like celebrating, go for it! I know my mom will spend most the time talking about me and the baby anyways since she's so excited ;)
    MiromiMrconrad6714Family2408
  • MawmeeMawmee member
    Accepted Answer

    Interesting topic. It's tough because, well, yeah you're a mother, aren't ya?

    But then again, is Mother's Day like "a day to celebrate Mommy (i.e. gifts, etc from your child)?"

    But then again, can't SO be the reason you're a mommy, so they can celebrate you?

    But then again... iono.

    I personally won't just because...Mawmee doesn't do holidays. 

    MiromiM
  • jenboston22jenboston22 member
    edited April 2015 Accepted Answer
    Haha, I don't think I'll really celebrate it, but I may hint to my husband to get me flowers.  ;)

    To answer your question: I totally think it's acceptable for you to celebrate if you want to :)
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  • ktbkittenktbkitten member
    Accepted Answer
    I am a STM but I was 7 months pregnant with my first on mother's day. I didn't expect anything but my mom got me a flower, which I thought was really sweet. I don't think there is anything wrong with doing a little something. You are a mother and you are taking care of a baby in a way. 


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    MiromiM
  • Accepted Answer
    I think if it makes you happy, do it! I would guess "celebrating" would just be your partner getting you flowers, or a card or gift, or having breakfast in bed, something like that. It would be a little weird if you like, hosted a Mother's Day party for yourself or something. But as long as it's not over-the-top, go for it!
    MiromiMkrmicmacpiscesmommy222
  • MufflerloveMufflerlove member
    Accepted Answer
    When I was pregnant on Mother's Day my mom, MIL and husband all bought me flowers :).

    MiromiMpiscesmommy222
  • str13str13 member
    Accepted Answer
    I didn't expect for anyone to care about MY Mother's Day when I was pregnant with DD1. But I got flowers and a gift from my parents. I said "but I'm not a mom! It's your day!" Dad said "you sure are a mom" and pointed at my teeny bump. If you decide to celebrate or not, I think it's fine!!

    @seamonkey4 I have work a 12 on mothers day too!! Boo!!
    MiromiMkrmicmacseamonkey4piscesmommy222
  • krmicmackrmicmac member
    Accepted Answer

    I'm not expecting anything, and I'm kinda on the fence about celebrating....especially since I'm a FTM.

    Last year, my Sister In Law drove me craaaaaaaazy! She was 5 months pregnant with my niece at the time and made a HUUUGE DEAL about how she's a Mom NOW and we need to ALL PRAISE her for this fact. Her severe pushiness about this put a bad taste in my mouth  and made me not want to give her the card my husband got her (She is husband's baby sister). What's worse is she made me give up spending Mother's Day with my OWN MOTHER so we could all be with her all damned day. The whole ordeal left me resentful and not wanting to acknowledge her upcoming motherhood until my niece was born.

    I don't want to be THAT kind of Mother-to-be.

    If the people in my life want to acknowledge it, then cool. But I'll be over here spoiling MY MOM for everything she has done and actively listening and learning baby advice from someone who has 30+ years of experience.

    J0C0TXMiromiMpiscesmommy222
  • squigles28squigles28 member
    Accepted Answer
    I don't expect anyone else to celebrate with me, but hubby and I will, even if its just ice cream. I have historically tried to avoid thinking about mothers day since my own mom passed when I was 16. This is the first mothers day I've looked forward to in a long time. We still will spend most of the weekend celebrating my MIL and my aunt and even visit my moms grave, but I think I deserve a few minutes to be happy and enjoy a day I have always had to fake my way through.
    BabyBugutskypiscesmommy222nanipepi
  • lcarp203lcarp203 member
    Accepted Answer
    I am a FTM and expect something from my husband, but no one else! Nothing fancy, but a nice gesture, whether it a card, flowers, or my favorite snack. We are not gift people so we don't do much for birthdays or Christmas. But, we do just try to do a little something to recognize one another.
    MiromiM
  • J0C0TXJ0C0TX member
    Accepted Answer
    I'm a third time mom... When I was a pregnant ftm no one really said/did anything. It didn't bother me but I think if you want to do something to celebrate your child and the fact you are their mother - go for it! My BIL did it for my sister and it was sweet.
    As for Mother's Day now... Well, let's not go there!!!
    MiromiM
  • AndieTessieAndieTessie member
    Accepted Answer
    FTM here, I plan on just taking the day off from cleaning and cooking and maybe getting good take out with DH. I honestly think if you want to celebrate it's totally fine. 90% of our time is spent worrying/thinking about/ prepping for baby, if you want a special day, take it!! DH and I are that weird couple that gets each other cards for mothers/fathers day from our pets (don't judge me lol!!!) so I will most likely get one from baby, but we never take any holiday too seriously when it comes to gifts. I'm not expecting anything from anyone else though.
    MiromiM

Answers

  • I'm also curious about how other FTMs feel about this. I'm still on the fence lol.
    MiromiM
  • I think it perfectly fine to celebrate it. I mean I'm a STM and my mothers day gift is getting highlights haha the first mothers day when I wad pregnant with my son my husband went and got me a baby carriage charm for my Pandora bracelet and wrote me a sweet note. It's a day to celebrate each other why not take it. The first year we were dating I got my husband a father's day card from our puppy. It was an excuse to tell him how much I loved him :)
    krmicmac
  • No plans for me. I'm sure friends/family will wish me a happy mothers day which is great! I wouldn't be surprised if my husband did something but I'm definitely not expecting it and I'm certainly not demanding he do something. On the flip side, my birthday is the 15th so it's not like I don't already have a day dedicated to me soon after. For me, I think I just want to show some extra appreciation to my own mother as the last mothers day before I have this baby.
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  • Anyone else not given the option? I was told yesterday by a relative that there would be a (v small) gathering at my house. Well-intended but my history w my mom is rough so I was hoping to avoid mothers day for me until baby is born.
  • DH will at least get me a card and I'll do the same for him on Father's Day. He has to work that day and I'll probably be at a family dinner that we do to celebrate. I think when my sister was pregnant I got her a card, but can't remember if anyone else did.

    So if you want to go for it, if you don't that's cool too. And thank you Hallmark for giving us the option.
  • What great responses! I love everyone's experiences and thoughts, they are so varied. I'm a STM, and didn't find out I was pregnant with DD1 til Memorial Day that year. So I wasnt (or at least, didn't know I was) pregnant for Mother's Day. We did know for Father's Day that year, though. I got my husband a card and wrote him a letter about what a great father he would be and how I knew. My mom got him a small gift. I think it's appropriate but not required to celebrate moms to be on Mother's Day. It really comes down to your family style!
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  • My husband has yet to be home for Mother's Day since I was pregnant with my daughter so we have never celebrated it.

    Those of you who tell your husband that you expect a present/flowers for Mother's Day, does the gift have any meaning? I cannot imagine telling my husband to do something nice for me. I think that would totally take away from the thoughtfulness of it if you're asking for it. I'm not my husband's mother so I don't expect him to do anything for me.
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    krmicmac
  • As a mother of 3 soon to be 4 I feel like every mother to be should have the right to celebrate as long as you want ...you're carrying a baby and caring for it as if they were out here in the world and that counts to me :-)
  • I got pregnant with my son right after Mother's Day and he was here when the next Mother's Day rolled around so I'm not sure how celebrated it would have been while pregnant. But you're definitely a mom so I say celebrate! Even if it's just something small and low key.
  • I wasn't expecting anything until my dad told my boyfriend "you got her pregnant, that baby can't celebrate until it gets older so you better get her gifts." Now I'm kind of excited.
    piscesmommy222krmicmac
  • When I was pregnant with my first we celebrated Mother's Day. We just did brunch and my husband got me a little necklace that had two birds with a baby bird. Nothing fancy. I didn't feel weird celebrating.
  • My husband has yet to be home for Mother's Day since I was pregnant with my daughter so we have never celebrated it.

    Those of you who tell your husband that you expect a present/flowers for Mother's Day, does the gift have any meaning? I cannot imagine telling my husband to do something nice for me. I think that would totally take away from the thoughtfulness of it if you're asking for it. I'm not my husband's mother so I don't expect him to do anything for me.

    I think of Mother's Day as a celebration of all moms, not necessarily just your own. I don't get gifts for anyone but my own, but I say happy Mother's Day to my aunts, sister, etc. I have never told my husband I expect something from him but he always does something. Just like I do something for him for Father's Day. Nothing extravagant for either of us though.
  • I'm a FTM and felt weird about this whole topic, so I'm glad someone made it a thread! My dad keeps asking me if I feel like a mom yet, which is always weird. I guess not really? I mostly just feel like an incubator still. I mean, a loving, caring, excited incubator but... Not yet is the best answer I have. That being said, I joked with my partner that I wanted him to celebrate mother's day for me, mostly because I wanted to use it as an excuse to get my hair done. We're lazy hippies who cut our own hair and I've been growing mine out from a buzz cut from a couple of years ago, and now that it's at a nice length I wanted to get it trimmed up and straightened out, and this seemed like a good excuse for what is, for us, an indulgence. :-)
  • Go for it! If you want to do something special, you should! You're still a mother, your baby just hasn't made an appearance yet. 
  • I wasn't expecting anything until my dad told my boyfriend "you got her pregnant, that baby can't celebrate until it gets older so you better get her gifts." Now I'm kind of excited.

    Can I tell you...........your dad ROCKS!
  • My husband has yet to be home for Mother's Day since I was pregnant with my daughter so we have never celebrated it.

    Those of you who tell your husband that you expect a present/flowers for Mother's Day, does the gift have any meaning? I cannot imagine telling my husband to do something nice for me. I think that would totally take away from the thoughtfulness of it if you're asking for it. I'm not my husband's mother so I don't expect him to do anything for me.

    I know what you mean about DEMANDING something be done, because I think that is not nice, but here are some other thoughts. Some husbands are not "raised right" and unfortunately it becomes the wife's job to educate a husband on what matters to her. For example, my FIL NEVER and I mean NEVER got my MIL so much as even a card for a birthday, holiday, etc. (you can just forget flowers and gifts) even though my MIL has always said how much any gesture would mean to her. I think that is really wrong. I think a spouse should always respect what matters to a significant other. I don't think it is ok he has ignored her feelings for 30 something years of marriage. He loves her, he is a wonderful husband, but he just ignores that need that she has. 

    I let my husband know from the moment we got married, that would not be acceptable to me. I believe that a card/flowers/cooked meal/gesture of ANY kind is a wonderful way to show a spouse you love and treasure them. If he loves and treasures me, I would love a gesture to show that. I don't demand or tell him what that gesture should be, and I love that it comes from his heart. However, I believe that had I not told him how I feel, he would have been exactly like his dad and thought nothing of it. So I am glad I spoke up.

    So yes, I think his gestures have a lot of meaning. I think it also shows that he respects my feelings and what matters to me.
    J0C0TXkrmicmac
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