Question???!!!

babymcneil1 · April 2015

planning my baby shower my fiancé has a big family and the last baby shower we went to they had children there. I kinda don't want any kids there bc they are loud and running around and some parents can't control their childen. I don't want to offend anyone should I invite them and say no kids allowed or I should say yes to the kids?

soberrysweet · April 2015

babymcneil1 said:
planning my baby shower my fiancé has a big family and the last baby shower we went to they had children there. I kinda don't want any kids there bc they are loud and running around and some parents can't control their childen. I don't want to offend anyone should I invite them and say no kids allowed or I should say yes to the kids?

Don't plan your own baby shower. Problem solved. Boom.

mrstps · April 2015

Also, you are having a baby. Get used to kids, kids being wild, and not being able to control them.

delujm0 · April 2015

A. you never plan your own shower. that's gift-grabby and extremely rude. if someone offers you a shower, take it. oltherwise, you don't get one. trust that the people who want to give you gifts will do so without being formally invited

B. you seem awfully judgemental of parenting for a person who doesn't yet have any children. if the standard in that family is for kids to come to the shower, it sounds like that's how it's going to be. i'd just have it as an outdoor/BBQ event so that the kids can run free, and move on. but again, you shouldn't be hosting your own shower, and whoever is hosting should determine the guest list. so if that host wants kids there, kids will be there. it's a baby shower, not a wedding. FWIW, if i had kids and was invited to a baby shower that excluded my kids, and my husband wouldn't be around to watch them for some reason, i just wouldn't come to the shower. there's zero chance i'd pay a babysitter so that i could attend a baby shower. they're really not that important.

soberrysweet · April 2015

I will say that most of the showers that I attend are adults only events and I prefer that. As a SAHM, its nice to have an opportunity to be able to have a break away from kids and socialize for a bit.

VOR · April 2015

As said, you shouldn't be hosting your own shower. And yes, I caution you on being overly judgey about other parents.

That being said, see if someone offers to host a shower for you. Then talk to them about the guest list. I too have only been to showers that are adult only. I like it, it's nice. If that's what you want, there is nothing wrong with that. I'd hope your host would work with you on that.

VOR · April 2015

delujm0 said:
it's a baby shower, not a wedding.

What does this have to do with anything? I've been to MANY non-wedding events that are adult only. Including baby showers.

babymcneil1 · April 2015

Ok I'm not hosting my own shower. My cousin is hosting it for me but she lives in NJ so as far a place to have it I found it bc she can't come here to do that for me. The place where my FH family has all the parties really isn't kid friendly as far as play area for their kids. If it was at a park or something I wouldn't care but it's not. Also she's asking me what do I want and were inviting at least 35 ppl and majority of his side of the family has kids under the age of 7 so that's why i can't make up my mind because I don't want to offend anyone that has children but again it's not their baby shower. So if they don't attend I'll be fine.

Designermomma · April 2015

In my circle, you invite the adults. Babies 2 and under come because they are still attached but most older kids don't come. My cousin showed up to my shower with her 3 kids unexpectedly which at first I was a little peeved about but it was fine. They were well behaved. Her oldest ended up winning a shower game and got a candle as a prize he was not pleased with. That cracked me up.

VOR · April 2015

Look- when you get into the world of parents, some people will ALWAYS be upset that their sweet angels aren't invited. But life is life and not every event is kid friendly. They can be upset- you can't control that. Do what works best for you.

FemShep · April 2015

If your host decides on an adult-only shower, that's totally fine. When addressing the invitations, make sure you address them to the person invited only. Do not say "no children" in any way on the invitation; it's rude to mention people who aren't invited on the invitation. If someone RSVPs and says they'll be bringing a child, the host should calmly let them know that the shower is an adult-only event. Some people will decline, but that's life and it is absolutely the host's prerogative to have an adult event.

babymcneil1 · April 2015

Yeah I sent her a text this morning she said adults only. So problem solved no children

KonaCoffeeBean · May 2015

VOR said:

delujm0 said:
it's a baby shower, not a wedding.
What does this have to do with anything? I've been to MANY non-wedding events that are adult only. Including baby showers.

This quote is out of context. Her point Is that she would get a babysitter for a wedding, but would not do so for a baby shower.

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