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Nerves and Pregnancy

kristen1813kristen1813 member
in Babies on the Brain
Hey there! I'm very new to this site but thought I would just jump in and see what happens. My husband and I have been married about a year and a half but been together for over 10. I am a extreme type A person- to a fault really. All of our friends and siblings have successfully begun expanding their families so we (more so me)  feel like all eyes are on us now! With my type A self I have made a list of all the things I want to have checked off my list before and we have completed that list and I seem to continue to add to it. My husband recently told me the ball is in my court, he's ready whenever I am. I just don't know when the time is right, I know there is never a perfect time for anything but there has to be some sort of gauge.  A big thing for me is the idea of pregnancy, it generally makes me nervous everything women have to go through is wonderful yes, but also very concerning to me. I can't be the only one to feel this way.....
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Re: Nerves and Pregnancy

  • StarbucksShipStarbucksShip member
    edited April 2015
    I am very much in your boat. To be completely honest for the vast majority of my life I didn't want to have kids unless it was through adoption. I never spent much time with younger kids or pregnant women. It's a foreign concept and until I had sex ed in high school, I tended to think babies popped out a la alien. After sex ed and the graphic video of a hysterical woman I was even more distraught.

    I am seeing a counselor now. I read a few books about the physiological changes and then discuss it with her. That right there has helped considerably. It's taking a couple months of introspection, but I'm willing to try pregnancy once. If we're successful, wonderful! And I'll continue to work with my MHP throughout the pregnancy. If not, it's okay and I'll stick to my Plan A.

    FWIW, You might not have the same anxiety I do. But, if a biological child is something you really want and this is stopping you, maybe it'd be worthwhile to speak to a mental health professional. I recommend this because a forum is great for venting and learning from people, but there's a level of confidentiality and guidance that only a pro (that makes you feel comfortable) can offer.
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  • mrsmtothekmrsmtothek member
    You are absolutely not alone!! Although it seems the more women I talk to, the more I realize we are sort of in the minority here. My husband was ready long before I had even begun to think about having children. I am incredibly type-a too so I definitely feel your pain there--we are perfectionists and want to make sure we cross off every "check" before having babies. I definitely believe there are two camps, some women who "feel" ready, and some women who come to terms with being ready. I believe we are the latter. There's nothing wrong with that imo! I think for me what helped the most, was recognizing the fact that nothing will be perfect before we start trying. I set a date for TTC, and as more time passes I'm feeling more and more ready, even though I know if I were to look back on my "list" I might cringe haha. Just stay in-tune with how you're feeling and do what feels right for you. Good luck!
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