bridesmaid 2 weeks after due date??

emzrankin · April 2015

My sister is getting married 2 weeks after my due date and has asked me to be a bridesmaid.
I would never ever say this as her special day isnt anything about me but i almost think why 4 months before would she chose this date to get married?
Anyway she text and asked me to be bridesmaid and it sounded like her and my mum had already decided that i would say no and she would ask me anyway because theres no way id fit in a dress.(which hurt!)
What am i meant to do!? How do i know i am not going to go over my due date? How do i know i am not going to feel like a whale!? I feel like i really dont want to say no but 4 months is a while away and how do i know how i will feel.
Any advice?

aleecats · April 2015

Be open and honest with her that you truly want to be in her bridal party but it's extremely close to your due date you can't possibly know when you'll have the baby or how you'll feel physically to do it. Tell her if you'd still like me to be in it I will but you'll have to understand if I can't for any reason make it.

If however you don't want to even worry about it tell her that your so excited for her special day and you don't want to cause any issues with it if you weren't able to be in it so she should find someone that can most definitely do it!

sbellaro · April 2015

I wouldnt be a bridesmaid. She planned her wedding and asked you knowing that it would be very difficult. I would just decline and therefore u wont be stressed about it. I think it is enough to worry that you will even make the wedding let alone spend the entire day being a bridesmaid when u have a new born. And you wouldnt want to make a commitment of being a bridesmaid when their is a chance you may be over due and not make the wedding. Maybe she will have another roll for u instead, like speach, or prayer or something that u can partake in.

smholroyd · April 2015

I am in the same boat! I am due mid September with my twins and I am supposed to be in my brothers wedding three weeks later. I plan on ordering a dress two or maybe three sizes bigger than my baseline, but I am holding off ordering as long as possible. Also, is she being specific on the dress? I just had to pick a navy blue one from David's bridal, so I chose one that is more forgiving. If you chose to participate, make sure you have a seamstress who can work with you.

momofsweetps · April 2015

I would decline because I know two weeks after delivery, even if it's a month after delivery, I wouldn't want to be standing up there in front of everyone.

lesliereed19 · April 2015

I had my baby at 42 weeks. You could be in the hospital.

kjs08 · April 2015

I would accept but have the stipulation that depending on baby and how the birth goes, you may not be up to the task day of, but don't count you out yet till it's closer. My SIL was a bridesmaid for my wedding, which was 2 months after the birth of her daughter, but she had a really hard pregnancy and recovery after her c-section. As far as a dress, the only requests I had was that the dresses had to be black and floor length, but each girl could choose their own (which looked really cute in pictures), and she ended up going with one of those multi-way dresses and she looked great as I know she was really worried that she wouldn't find anything that fit. I know it's a much longer time frame, but if your sister's giving some freedom with the dresses, you should be able to find something that works and that you'll love and be able to wear again.

thinkpink101 · April 2015

I would decline. It's expensive to be a bridesmaid and since very few moms deliver on their actual due date, and many go late, even as much as two weeks late, it's a big chance. Depending on the birth (c-section, you tear etc.) you very well might be in too much pain to participate even if you are on time.

Mufflerlove · April 2015

I would decline. My SIL is getting married 2 weeks after my due date also. DD is the flower girl and DH is walking her down the aisle. With my first i had her at almost 42 weeks and then I was in the hospital three days. I could literally be released the day of the wedding and depending on the birth you probably wont feel like having all those duties or even going to the wedding at all.

My SIL understands as she was pregnant when she asked me. She has since had a csection and realizes there was no way she would have been attending the wedding If the situation had been reversed.

hrossi253 · April 2015

Also, I could barely walk for a couple weeks after birth, you are so sore!!! They don't tell you that! And tired, from taking care of a newborn. A wedding just isn't where I want to be. Especially on a stage...if you are in the back, then you can come and go as you please, and SIT! Who knows, what if you go late? Or you have to have a csection? Just things to think about.

jmacd22 · April 2015

I'm in the same boat. I'm due 9/8 and my best friends wedding is 2 wks later. She had that date planned before I got pregnant and I actually don't want to miss it. I'm hoping all goes well and I'm able to make it even if just for the ceremony.

BabyUnderwood · April 2015

Me too! My best friend is having her wedding 3 weeks after my due date! I accepted, but let her know that things may change depending on when I give birth and how (if c-section, etc). I'm not a maid of honor, and won't be participating in the bachelorette party.. I figure I can take a few hours of my day to stand up in a dress for my best friends wedding. It will be fine. My husband will take care of the baby the night before to ensure I get good sleep; as well as on the day of the wedding. I will stay for the ceremony, and a little bit for the reception depending on how I feel.
If I look like a whale, whatever. Everyone will know I just gave birth. Do what you can.. get highlights, a spray tan, whatever. You'll feel better too. But don't stress out about it. It's either sure I can if I'm able, or no I won't be able to after all. My friend will understand either way and she knows I'll try my best to be there for her on her special day.

Sarahm8687 · April 2015

Yikes! I'm a bridesmaid to one of my best friends 4 weeks after my due date. Her shower is also 17 days before my due date and as the (First) bridesmaid I am required to throw the shower. I plan on having everything done for the shower way in advance in case I can't be there, and also bought my dress at 4 months so according to the seamstress I will be about the same size a month after delivery that I was at 4 months. It's a lot of pressure being a bridesmaid this close to having a baby, but I am just going to go with the flow and know that it will work out as best it can. Good luck!

nikkidavis421 · April 2015

I'm in the same boat, too. My cousin asked me to be in her wedding and I accepted because this was before I was pregnant. Her wedding is 9/26, my due date is 9/19...plus, she wanted to have an outdoor wedding in my yard which I also agreed to. Thankfully, her mom (my aunt) told me that she's planning to have the wedding in her mom's yard now (she still has yet to tell me this herself) but my question is, how in the world am I supposed to know how my dress is going to fit me when I just had a baby a week earlier?!?! Plus, I'm sure I'll look like a sleep deprived zombie. I'll do anything for her and I'm not complaining about being a part of her wedding because I'll be there either way but I just hope she doesn't expect much out of me..lol

Boobopgirl · April 2015

I was in a wedding right after my first was born and it was super stressful. Even if you're physically up to it, your body is still adjusting in other ways. I was terrified a baby would cry during the ceremony and my boobs would explode everywhere (IF you do it make sure you have SUPER ABSORBENT BREAST PADS). even if you're not breastfeeding, you might not be dried up by then. There are things you can do to fit into a dress (my dress was a maternity/nursing style that was super adjustable), but it's not worth the hassle.

Find ways to help her in other ways to get ready for her big day. There's so much work and shopping to do prior to the wedding. Offer to help her address invitations or work out her seating chart for the reception or assemble table numbers/centerpieces ahead of time. Find pictures of her and her fiance as kids to use as decorations or in a power point. There are so many other ways you can be a part of her day that in the end will be more meaningful than squeezing yourself into a dress and standing awkwardly in front of everyone.

AndieTessie · April 2015

I would decline. Unless you have a scheduled c section you have no idea when baby will come. My SIL is getting married a week and a half after my due date in another state, so I won't even risk attending. Even if you have the baby on time I'm assuming your whole family will be at this wedding, are you comfortable leaving a newborn in someone else's care? Are you going to be BF or pumping? I think it would be too much work plus all the other responsibilities of being a bridesmaid who will be very pregnant close to the wedding.

emzrankin · April 2015

Of course my husband will look after the baby the 45 mins of the ceremony..thats no worry..hes her daddy. Its just the size and pain issues! Everyones advice has been greatly recieved..thank u xxx

AndieTessie · April 2015

Sorry I assumed hubby was going with you, hope it didn't come across snarky! Those are just all the thoughts that came to my mind when considering going to my SIL's wedding! Best of luck with whatever you decide!

Boobopgirl · April 2015

It is a tough choice. I know. But you need to be sure you're not doing something that will cause issues for you OR your sister. Although I do believe her picking a date so close to your due date was a little reckless. What if you're in labor? Does she really want to get married while everyone's thinking about how you're doing and waiting for baby news? Obviously, it's her decision, but definitely not one I would make...I'm selfish enough to want all the attention on ME my wedding day, not on my sister's newborn or my sister who's in labor, lol.

emzrankin · April 2015

@AndieTessie No need to apologise. My husband will be at the wedding but its a small church she is getting married and can always just leave if baby cries or what not xx

monicaP · April 2015

I was a bridesmaid for a dear friend one month after my first was born, but only two weeks after my due date (I have been blessed with full-term, but early babies). I think it depends a lot on the bride and her expectations. My friend just wanted a blue dress, so I went to Burlington Coat Factory after baby and found a blue dress that fit. It was wonderful to be included in all of the pre-wedding preparations as a bridesmaid, with my friend knowing full well I may not have been able to make it the day of.

bethhart66 · April 2015

My best friend got married 2 weeks after her sisters due date. She was 3 weeks postpartum and we had a seamstress standing by all morning to alter her dress. She looked fine. I am sure you will too if you decide to do it.

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