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please dont touch me?

JessHeppellJessHeppell member
edited April 2015 in June 2015 Moms
so i have my SIL's birthday dinner to go to tonight so my MIL will be there and last time i saw her without even saying anything to me she puts her hand on my bump and it made me uncomfortable but i was too shocked to say anything to make her remove her hand.. how do i deal with her without hurting her feelings? cause she will get all moody and i dont want to cause i scene in the restaurant. i dont even like her tbh but i have to tolerate her so i dont want to come off as being a b*tch.
(im starting to feel like my only option is a facebook status)

*i did try to find a previous thread about this but had no luck*
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    jduggsjduggs member
    I've awkwardly held the hand of someone reaching for my belly (kind of a weird double hand shake sort of thing.) I wouldn't say it's a great way to handle it, but at least you can avoid the touching?
    Best of luck and so sorry you have to deal with any extra pregnancy discomforts other than the usual physical ones!

     

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    AnAdultAnAdult member
    I wouldn't like to be touched by a stranger but honestly I don't understand why anyone I know putting a hand on my bump (with care and appreciation) would bother me.

    Just deal with it I would say, don't say anything and hold on for another month and half I guess. It's not something your MIL does everytime even when you aren't pregnant, right? It's just a baby bump with her grandchild in it :) she must be excited and expecting her grandchild to arrive as much as any grandparent would. So why b*tch about it? :)
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    WestypetWestypet member
    If it's an annoyance, then I'd just ignore it and try to appreciate that she's so full of excitement and love at seeing her grandbaby in your belly and can't help but show you with a loving gesture.

    If it truly causes you anxiety, you can share with her quietly that sometimes when ladies touch your belly, it makes your baby kick more which causes uncomfortable Braxton Hicks contractions.

    You can always position yourself with your arms low so no one can get to the bump.

    I wouldn't post something on Facebook, because that can come off as passive aggressive and won't help relationship with MIL.
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    JessHeppellJessHeppell member
    AnAdult said:

    I wouldn't like to be touched by a stranger but honestly I don't understand why anyone I know putting a hand on my bump (with care and appreciation) would bother me.

    Just deal with it I would say, don't say anything and hold on for another month and half I guess. It's not something your MIL does everytime even when you aren't pregnant, right? It's just a baby bump with her grandchild in it :) she must be excited and expecting her grandchild to arrive as much as any grandparent would. So why b*tch about it? :)

    its not just touching my bump. its just a matter of i dont like being touched at all, except for my husband, and a few other people. but i understand why you dont understand it. just bothersome for me because she is so touchy feely (wants a hug everytime i see her which is like once a week) but thanks for the answer.
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    virginiaunicorn11virginiaunicorn11 member
    JessHeppell said:

    AnAdult said:

    I wouldn't like to be touched by a stranger but honestly I don't understand why anyone I know putting a hand on my bump (with care and appreciation) would bother me.

    Just deal with it I would say, don't say anything and hold on for another month and half I guess. It's not something your MIL does everytime even when you aren't pregnant, right? It's just a baby bump with her grandchild in it :) she must be excited and expecting her grandchild to arrive as much as any grandparent would. So why b*tch about it? :)

    its not just touching my bump. its just a matter of i dont like being touched at all, except for my husband, and a few other people. but i understand why you dont understand it. just bothersome for me because she is so touchy feely (wants a hug everytime i see her which is like once a week) but thanks for the answer.
    A hug once a week isn't so crazy. But clearly it is something that you are personally uncomfortable with, which is fine, if you handle this maturely and diplomatically. I think you should ask DH to talk to your MIL and you need to be prepared to reinforce your limits, ideally with a sense of humor but directly, when she crosses them.
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    Trunkschick17Trunkschick17 member
    edited April 2015
    I'm with you. I don't like to be touched either and most people have respected that. One of my bffs is coming to town this weekend for my shower and everything out of her mouth is about how she can't wait to rub my belly. I've already politely told her I don't like being touched and she gets one rub. If she tries again I'm swatting her hand away. My gut my rules.
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    JessHeppellJessHeppell member
    ElRuby said:

    Why is this thread closed? Did I miss something?

    closed cause i got my answer, went to the dinner and she didnt even try which was nice, i just didnt want it to keep getting pushed up the board, but i can fix it if more people want this info?
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    devyns2nddevyns2nd member
    threads typically aren't closed especially if it hasn't been discussed before. Other moms can benefit from this. Also when a topic comes up (even if it's an answered question) people usually continue to
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    mishmardhionomishmardhiono member
    edited April 2015
    I hate people touching my belly and will often decline peoples requests to touch it if I'm not close with them. Both mothers are obsessed with touching, pressing and rubbing but with them I'm picking my battles.. If me being uncomfortable/awkward for 2 minutes gives them so much joy and makes the liight shine out of my ass then I'm just going with it.

    Also, being flexible with it has allowed me to refuse them touching me without it coming across rudely. I jut say not today and they accept it cos I guess they know another time they can
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    NotISaidtheCatNotISaidtheCat member
    I also sincerely hate being touched in general (unless it's someone I'm very close to) so I kind of just don't gaf about taking someone's hand off my belly or pushing it away when they reach for it. I find that if I just do this without making a big deal about it the other person is more likely to move on quickly and not make anything of it either. Maintaining eye contact with a neutral face seems to help, that way they don't feel as embarassed or like you're trying to be mean.

    For family, I usually let them know baby isn't doing anything interesting in there and that I'll let them know when he's being active so they are actually feeling him instead of just molesting me. So far eveyone seems cool with this.
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    nikiaPSUnikiaPSU member
    I work in a predominantly male environment. It surprised me how many of them are interested in my ever growing bump. One in particular reaches out to touch my belly. I have no problem smacking his hand away. I tell them it's not normal to just touch someone's stomach even if a baby is growing inside. Every once in a while someone sneaks a hand but if it's quick & someone I'm comfortable with, I save the conversation for a more neutral time. I shouldn't have to wear a "hands off the bump" t-shirt.
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