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I give up

MoFreeMoFree member
in Secondary IF
I should really say I fvcking give up. God damn cysts on my ovary prevent FET from moving forward this month. I hope I don't sound melodramatic but I feel completely defeated. Infertility wins and I feel like the biggest loser (and not in terms of weight).
TTC since 3-08 IVF # 1 Dec 2011 BFP DD born at 31 weeks 6-24-12

FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN

FET # 2 Feb 2014 BFN

No more frosties

IVF #2. September 2014

PGD yielded 2 perfect 5d blasts

SET November 9, 2014
Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN

Not sure where to go from here.

image

Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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Re: I give up

  • efhoping2010efhoping2010 member

    MoFree I am so sorry :(

    Can they just delay the FET a month?

    Do you go back on BCP's?

    H: 34 dx Azoospermia due to CBAVD from CF  
    ME: 39 IS FINE!!!  DOR and poor AMH/FSH/LH
    IVF/ICSI/PESA #1 Beta 1 373 Beta 2 1783 BOY/GIRL TWINS!! Born April 2010!!
    Natural FET 5/26/12 2 blasts Beta 1 207 Beta 2 513 Beta 3 1377 U/S 6/28 Pregnancy not viable d & c scheduled :( 
    IVF/ICSI/PESA #2 ER 11/15/12 Nothing to transfer :( 
    IVF/ICSI #3 April 2013 MDLF 3dt of 3 embryos, chemical :(  
    IVF #4/ICSI/MESA/CCS/FET EPP April 2015
    ODWU CCRM with Dr. Sch COMPLETE!!!! Put on acai supplement they are studying for DOR and embryo quality.
    DAY 3 Labs Drawn 2/26 put on vitamin D and calcium supplements
    Regroup and Protocol Reveal 3/04 "Bazooka Protocol" EPP with MDLF "Protocol 6 with patches"
    ER/MESA 4/10 ER 9 eggs retrieved MESA success found live swimmers :)
    Fertilization Report 6 eggs mature and ICSI'd 4 eggs fertilized normally
    Day 6 Report to Blast for CCS 4/16: 2 DAY 5 BLASTS BIOPSIED FOR CCS a 4AB and a 3AB!!!!
    CCS Results BOTH BLASTS CCS NORMAL!!!!!!  call on 4/24
    Regroup call to discuss CCS results and FET call on 5/20
    FET prep: CD 1 6/08 CD 3 Start BCP 6/10, HSG 6/12 Lupron Start 10 iu 6/17 End BCP 6/21 CD 1 6/23!!!
    Start vivelle patches 6/25 change e/o/d reduce Lupron to 5iu 6/25 Blood Draw 7/01, 7/08, 7/15, 7/19
    Increase vivelle patches 7/03 2 change e/o/d and 7/05 change e/o/d 3 and 7/07 4 change e/o/d add vaginal estrace 2x a day
    Lining Check/Blood Draw 7/08 and 7/15 End Lupron 7/18  Start PIO 1ml daily 7/18  Blood  Draw 7/19
    Flight to clinic 7/22
    FET 2 CCS BLASTS :):)  7/23 :):) YES YES both thawed and both fully expanded :):)
    7/26 :):) 3dp5dt PM very very faint positive FRER
    7/27: 4dp5dt Neg Digi AM but very very faint positive FRER PM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 1-2 :):) 
    7/31:8dp5dt AM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 2-3!!!! :):) 
    Beta 1 8/01= 408!!!!!!!!!! at 9dp5dt FET
    Beta 2 8/03 = 1014!!!!!!!!!! at 11dp5dt FET
    8/05/2015 AM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 3+!!!! :):) 
    First Ultrasound: 8/20!!!!!! TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Genetics says BOTH BOYS!!!!!!!!!
    Second Ultrasound: 9/03!!!!!!!!!!










     










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  • MoFreeMoFree member
    Thanks @efhoping2010. I have commitments that cannot be cancelled or postponed for June and July. I would probably be less emotional if I didn't already have 3 failed FETs and my 38th birthday coming up. in the summer. I'm also going back to grad school at the end of August and don't want to be on Lupron then.
    I am undecided whether I even have the heart to think about trying another FET in late fall.
    TTC since 3-08 IVF # 1 Dec 2011 BFP DD born at 31 weeks 6-24-12

    FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN

    FET # 2 Feb 2014 BFN

    No more frosties

    IVF #2. September 2014

    PGD yielded 2 perfect 5d blasts

    SET November 9, 2014
    Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN

    Not sure where to go from here.

    image

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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  • efhoping2010efhoping2010 member

    MoFree.

    I am 38 too, it is awful how age has to be a deciding factor in these things :(

    H: 34 dx Azoospermia due to CBAVD from CF  
    ME: 39 IS FINE!!!  DOR and poor AMH/FSH/LH
    IVF/ICSI/PESA #1 Beta 1 373 Beta 2 1783 BOY/GIRL TWINS!! Born April 2010!!
    Natural FET 5/26/12 2 blasts Beta 1 207 Beta 2 513 Beta 3 1377 U/S 6/28 Pregnancy not viable d & c scheduled :( 
    IVF/ICSI/PESA #2 ER 11/15/12 Nothing to transfer :( 
    IVF/ICSI #3 April 2013 MDLF 3dt of 3 embryos, chemical :(  
    IVF #4/ICSI/MESA/CCS/FET EPP April 2015
    ODWU CCRM with Dr. Sch COMPLETE!!!! Put on acai supplement they are studying for DOR and embryo quality.
    DAY 3 Labs Drawn 2/26 put on vitamin D and calcium supplements
    Regroup and Protocol Reveal 3/04 "Bazooka Protocol" EPP with MDLF "Protocol 6 with patches"
    ER/MESA 4/10 ER 9 eggs retrieved MESA success found live swimmers :)
    Fertilization Report 6 eggs mature and ICSI'd 4 eggs fertilized normally
    Day 6 Report to Blast for CCS 4/16: 2 DAY 5 BLASTS BIOPSIED FOR CCS a 4AB and a 3AB!!!!
    CCS Results BOTH BLASTS CCS NORMAL!!!!!!  call on 4/24
    Regroup call to discuss CCS results and FET call on 5/20
    FET prep: CD 1 6/08 CD 3 Start BCP 6/10, HSG 6/12 Lupron Start 10 iu 6/17 End BCP 6/21 CD 1 6/23!!!
    Start vivelle patches 6/25 change e/o/d reduce Lupron to 5iu 6/25 Blood Draw 7/01, 7/08, 7/15, 7/19
    Increase vivelle patches 7/03 2 change e/o/d and 7/05 change e/o/d 3 and 7/07 4 change e/o/d add vaginal estrace 2x a day
    Lining Check/Blood Draw 7/08 and 7/15 End Lupron 7/18  Start PIO 1ml daily 7/18  Blood  Draw 7/19
    Flight to clinic 7/22
    FET 2 CCS BLASTS :):)  7/23 :):) YES YES both thawed and both fully expanded :):)
    7/26 :):) 3dp5dt PM very very faint positive FRER
    7/27: 4dp5dt Neg Digi AM but very very faint positive FRER PM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 1-2 :):) 
    7/31:8dp5dt AM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 2-3!!!! :):) 
    Beta 1 8/01= 408!!!!!!!!!! at 9dp5dt FET
    Beta 2 8/03 = 1014!!!!!!!!!! at 11dp5dt FET
    8/05/2015 AM POSITIVE DIGI CLEARBLUE PREGNANT 3+!!!! :):) 
    First Ultrasound: 8/20!!!!!! TWINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Genetics says BOTH BOYS!!!!!!!!!
    Second Ultrasound: 9/03!!!!!!!!!!










     










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  • CTinNVCTinNV member
    I am so sorry, @MoFree . Can your cysts be drained or surgically removed? I had a functional cyst cancel my second IUI cycle, and it was gone by my third try. Then I had a cyst present at the beginning of my first IVF cycle, but it was non-functioning and they drained it. I know my RE has also talked about removing persistent cysts too.

    Can you do that and get an FET in between your commitments this summer?

    Me: 35 DOR - AMH 1.1 FSH 5.6

    DH: 39

    09/01/10 - First pregnancy - my sweet son was born 

    04/25/14 - Miscarriage at 9 weeks - Turner Syndrome 

    08/01/14 - Miscarriage at 8 weeks - Trisomy 9 

    October 2014 - Unsuccessful IUI 

    November 2014 - IUI month skipped due to cyst 

    December 2014 - Unsuccessful IUI 

    January/February 2015 - Failed IVF (standard long protocol) - 7 eggs, 6 mature, 4 fertilized (ICSI), 0 made it to blast, 0 for testing 

    March/April 2015 - Microflare IVF protocol with HGH - 6 eggs, 6 mature, 5 fertilized (ICSI), 2 blasts for biopsy! 

    May/June 2015 - Microflare IVF protocol with HGH - 9 eggs, 6 mature, 5 fertilized (ICSI), 3 blasts for biopsy!

    06/18/15 -  Two healthy embies based on PGS testing by Natera!

    June/July 2015 - FET cycle with estradiol & PIO shots, a Neupogen treatment, and accupuncture

    07/08/2015 - Transferred one lovely embie 

    07/17/2015 - Beta #1 136

    07/20/2015 - Beta #2 529 -- BFP!!!

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  • FrenchteachermamaFrenchteachermama member
    @MoFree it seems like we're in a similar situation.  It's looking very much like this is ectopic so I'll be benched for 3 months which leads to August when my PhD classes start up again.  I'm feeling totally defeated too.  A few very wise friends told me to *try* to think about these more as set back rather than giving up.  But like you I'll be 38 in December so I feel the pressure of time too.  I don't have any advice but know that i'm with you 100%.  



    imageimageimage
    image
    My FF Chart:
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/490dd7
    TTC #3 since June 2013
    BFP #1 7/21/2013--EDD 3/30/14--D&C 9/24/13
    BFP #2 1/28/14--MC 2/7/14
    IUI #1 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #2 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IUI #3 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
    IVF #1, Stimmed for 12 days, ER 8/22/14, 9 retrieved, 7M, 7F!!  Freeze all due to fluid in uterus.
    FET end of October 2014 cancelled due to fluid in uterus due to possible c-scar defect
    Surgery scheduled 12/12/14 to fix possible isthmocele
    3/26/15 transferred one 8 cell grade 4 embryo and one 6 cell grade 3 embryo = slow rising betas for 2+ weeks = ectopic MTX shot 4/29/15
    Repeat c-scar surgery June 2015
    2nd and last IVF cycle August 2015, stimmed for 12 days, 2 egg retrieved, both mature and both fertilized.  Transferred both 8-cell embryos on Day 3, beta 9/5/15 = BFFN
    MOVING TO ADOPTION!  


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  • Kelley421Kelley421 member
    I'm so sorry Mo. Damn cysts.

    Two years, two losses and three IUIs...

    We are having TRIPLETS!

    EDD 1/26/16

     GGB born November 2015!


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  • Davie813Davie813 member
    Ugh, I'm so sorry.  Every bit of this IF thing sucks, sucks, SUCKS.  I hope (if you want to) you can work around your summer commitments and make it work.
    *****Signature/Ticker Warning******

    Me: 41, DH: 45
    DD, 6/15/2013
    TTC #2 beginning January 2014
    AMH 1.05; FSH range 7-11

    July 2014: IUI #1.  Follistim + Pregnyl.  2 follicles--BFN
    September 2014: IUI #2.  Follistim + Pregnyl + Ganirelix + Crinone.  4(?) follicles--BFN
    October 2014: IUI #3.  More Follistim + More Ganirelix + Pregnyl + Crinone.  4 follicles--BFP!  Beta #1=10 Beta #2=33 Beta #3=97 Beta #4=158.  M/C 11/1/14
    December 2014: IVF #1.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  9R, 9M, 9F.  3 5-day blasts transferred 12/15. BFFN.
    April 2015: IVF #2.  Microdose Lupron protocol.  16R, 15M, 12F. Transferred 2 5-day blasts 4/12 and froze 4--BFP!  M/C 5/25/15
    August 2015: IVF #3.  14R, 13M, 11F.  Froze 5 blasts for CCS testing.  3 normals.  FET planned for 10/2015.



    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    image

    image
    My Ovulation Chart

    image
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  • NB817NB817 member
    I'm so sorry MoFree. The other girls have covered it all IMO. All I can send is HUGS & hopes the cyst can be dealt with quickly and delicately.

    ME: 35 DH: 39

    Married July 2011

    DD Born 8/12

    TTC #2 since 11/13

    ME: Submucosal Fibroid Surgery Date APRIL 14th 2015 -Left Tube is blocked by Fibroid~Surgeon removed 26 Fibroids from my Ute and Unblocked my Tube

    DH:Azoospermia...Thank God we have 12 vials of frozen swimmers

    July 15-Check to see if Ute is all healed

    IUI #1 8/3/15...BFN

    IUI #2 9/5/15...BFP on 9/17/15

    Beta #1-344

    Beta #2-809

    Beta #3 8,390

    1st u/s 8/8/15 1 bean HB 135 @ 6w5d



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  • ellebelle2384ellebelle2384 member
    I'm so sorry @MoFree.  That's just too much at once. 
    Me: 31     DH: 33
    Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
    BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
    BFP#2: 5/3/11 - EDD 1/9/12 - DD Born 1/6/12
    image
    TTC #2 since 12/13
    BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
    BFP#4: MC 5/6/14 at 4w4d - EDD 1/9/15
    BFP#5: MMC discovered 8/4/14 at 9w1d - D&C 8/5/14 - Baby Boy with Trisomy 16 (maternal origin) - EDD 3/8/15
    BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
    IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
    IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
    PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
    FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
    Natural FET 11/4/15 = BFP!
    Beta 9dp5dt = 92

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  • jen4nyjen4ny member
    I am so very sorry @MoFree. 
    "From the moment I first saw you, the second that you were born, I knew that you were the love of my life" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Me: 35, DH: 40
    TTC # 2 since 8/13, Dx: unexplained secondary infertility
    Clomid cycles 7/14 & 8/14= BFN
    IUI # 1 (clomid) 8/27/14= BFN
    IUI # 2 (clomid and follistim) 9/25/14= BFN
    IUI # 3 (femara and follistim) 10/23/14= BFN
    IUI # 4 (femara and follistim) 11/20/14= BFN
    12/12/14- saline sono shows two polyps
    2/15- two uterine polyps and "schmutz" (RE's words) removed
    8/15- surprise BFP! Beta #1 70 Beta #2 150 
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  • FlamingemuFlamingemu member
    @Mofree I am so, so sorry. 

    Kid #1 - 09/03/12
    Kid #2 - maybe???
    Diagnosed with Severe Ashermans 
    Hysteroscopy #10 - scar tissue grew back reblocking my right tube
    #11 or IVF with scarring still inside?
    1 lone embryo from September 2016 retreival, dx with Trisomy 16, starting fresh
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  • 1983Lindsey21983Lindsey2 member
    I am so so sorry!  That is so hard and especially with the busy summer months up next keeping you from doing another cycle immediately.  Hang in there.
    ~~ All Welcome~~
    ME: 32, SER aggregates on eggs, anovulatory
    DH:  33, 2% morphology
    TTC #1 
    2 clomid cycles, 3 hybrid clomid/bravelle IUI's = 4 BFN/1 CP@ 5.5 weeks
    IUI #6 -Follitism IUI cycle converted to IVF and back to IUI-4 mature, 3 maybe mature = BFP!!   DS Born 9/2014
    TTC#2 
    IVF #1 9/15 Antagonist- 19 R 1F (Frozen day 1 @ 2PN stage) Diagnosed with SER aggregates in 13/19 eggs after failed fertilization
    IVF #2 11/15 Antagonist w/ICSI  (Higher stims & Letrosole added last minute on stim day 7)- 39R, 24M (20/24 SER free), 15F (14/15 SER free & all frozen @ 2PN stage) 
    FET#1 Cultured all 16- 2pn embryos to day 5- transferred 1 good hatching blast and 1 early blast on 1/28- None to freeze - beta 2/5

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  • STL34STL34 member
    edited April 2015
    @MoFree, I am so sorry you are dealing with this.  ((HUGS))  Are the cysts from BCPs/lupron?  I had my FET cancelled twice due to ovulating through or getting large follicles while on BCPs and Lupron.  I ended up having to do an ovulatory (no lupron) FET.  It wasn't successful but, I don't think it was my protocol.  I just think my poor embryo was fried by the amount of stims I was on.  Anyway your RE would do an ovulatory cycle?

    imageimage


    ~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~ 

    Me= 37 and DH = 41 

    Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)

    IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN

    IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.

    IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132.  Lil is here!

    TTC#2:  Trigger + TI = BFN; Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN.

    IVF #4:  BCP + MDLF + Lovenox = 7R, 1F = Transferred 1 6-cell embryo on day 3 = BFN

    IVF #5:  MDLF + Lovenox = 4R, 1F = Transferred 1 10-cell compacting embryo on day 3 = BFN

    IVF #6:  (New RE):  Long Antagonist November 2014 (transferred two 8 cell grade 1 embryos and froze one blast) = BFN

    FET#1:  BFN

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