Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Can I hang out here?

Hi everyone, 
I am a late term loss mom. I know this board is for early pregnancy loss, but the late term loss board is pretty quiet most of the time. Would it be okay if I posted in here? A loss is a loss for the most part so it would be nice to have a board with more activity. I think we can all support each other no matter when the loss occurred. However, I don't want to be more upsetting to anyone so I will go back to lurking if it bothers people.
Thanks!
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🌈  Preemie 2016  🌈
♥ Stillborn 2015 
        

Re: Can I hang out here?

  • @MamaBish, I can't speak for everyone, but I personally have no problem with you hanging out here.  I'm so sorry for your loss, but welcome you to one of the most nurturing boards I've been on.  I know nobody wants to be on this board, but we are all glad to have the company in this very hard time.

    How are you doing?
    BFP 2/11/15 (EDD 10/13/15). MMC 3/30/15 D&C 4/3/15 "We will always love you"
    DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16).  "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
    DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18).  "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
    BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21).  "Round 3 FIGHT!"
  • Sorry to hear about your loss. I don't think this board is specifically for early losses. It's just that miscarriage is much more common in early pregnancy hence most of the posters here are talking about their first trimester losses. I vote you can stay!!
    Anniversary
    TTC since January 2015
    3/15/2015 BFP!
    4/15/2015 MMC  :'(
    2/25/2016 BFP! Hoping for the best!
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss. Welcome to the board! It sis a great, supportive place. How are you doing?
  • Thank you all!
    I'm basically just existing at this point. DH is the one keeping me together. 
    How are all of you doing?
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    🌈  Preemie 2016  🌈
    ♥ Stillborn 2015 
            
  • Happy to have you here. Sad for the circumstances. And I, too, am leaning hard on my DH. <3
  • I'm doing much better than I was.  We lost our little one at 9.5wks, but I didn't find out until 12 weeks in.  We are planting a tree in our yard next week in memory of our little one.  I think that will brighten my spirits, and will also give me somewhere to grieve and talk to my little one.

    My DH has been a rock through this whole thing.  I always knew he was amazing, but he even surprised me with this compassion.
    BFP 2/11/15 (EDD 10/13/15). MMC 3/30/15 D&C 4/3/15 "We will always love you"
    DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16).  "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
    DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18).  "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
    BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21).  "Round 3 FIGHT!"
  • I'm doing much better than I was.  We lost our little one at 9.5wks, but I didn't find out until 12 weeks in.  We are planting a tree in our yard next week in memory of our little one.  I think that will brighten my spirits, and will also give me somewhere to grieve and talk to my little one.

    My DH has been a rock through this whole thing.  I always knew he was amazing, but he even surprised me with this compassion.

    Someone sent us a tree to plant too, I'm kind of afraid to plant it though because I am not good at keeping plants alive. What if I didn't take good enough care of it and it didn't survive? Ugh.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    🌈  Preemie 2016  🌈
    ♥ Stillborn 2015 
            
  • @MamaBish I'm not a great gardener either, but it's been very cathartic to at least attempt to grow things over the past few weeks. And besides, might as well give it a chance to live for a little while. :)
  • @MamaBish I vote you can stay too! I'm so sorry. I know how attached I was already at 12 weeks so I can't imagine how you must be feeling with a late term loss. And I can't keep plants alive for anything myself. My future MIL gave me a beautiful miniature rose plant and it was dead within a week. I try really hard. I just don't have a green thumb I guess. Yet another thing my mother didn't pass down to me. Lol!
  • @MamaBish, yeah I definitely have a brown thumb, but tree's tend to take care of themselves, and maybe tending to your little tree will be a good distraction.

    We are getting something hardy, that I can't kill easily because I think I would be devastated if I did kill it, but the thought of any future kids playing near the tree or in the tree if it gets bigger is what has convinced me that I want to try it.  It will be like they are playing with their sibling.  <3
    BFP 2/11/15 (EDD 10/13/15). MMC 3/30/15 D&C 4/3/15 "We will always love you"
    DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16).  "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
    DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18).  "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
    BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21).  "Round 3 FIGHT!"
  • I too was considering planting a tree but am scared it will die. I do not have a green thumb. I have good and bad days. I think hormone fluctuations are kicking my butt. I stopped progesterone shots the day before my D&C and I think my body is adjusting since I had been on them for so long. Sometimes I just burst in to tears for no apparent reason. Hoping it gets better soon but it's only been 5 days.
  • @MamaBish, yeah I definitely have a brown thumb, but tree's tend to take care of themselves, and maybe tending to your little tree will be a good distraction.

    We are getting something hardy, that I can't kill easily because I think I would be devastated if I did kill it, but the thought of any future kids playing near the tree or in the tree if it gets bigger is what has convinced me that I want to try it.  It will be like they are playing with their sibling.  <3

    I love the thought of future kids playing near it, such a sweet idea.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    🌈  Preemie 2016  🌈
    ♥ Stillborn 2015 
            
  • I too was considering planting a tree but am scared it will die. I do not have a green thumb. I have good and bad days. I think hormone fluctuations are kicking my butt. I stopped progesterone shots the day before my D&C and I think my body is adjusting since I had been on them for so long. Sometimes I just burst in to tears for no apparent reason. Hoping it gets better soon but it's only been 5 days.

    I'm so sorry. I still burst into tears and it's been about a month. I have this quote that I read multiple times a day and it seems to help.
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    🌈  Preemie 2016  🌈
    ♥ Stillborn 2015 
            
  • So sorry for your loss but delighted you found us. Welcome! I too can't imagine what you are going through. You've got a tough road ahead, but you will get through it! It won't define you but will be a part of who you are. We all have good and bad days on here and there are always people who are willing to listen and give information where they can. Just remember you're not alone and please do message if you ever feel like you are. X
    Re tree;
    We live in a duplex apartment and don't have a back garden but planting a tree sounds like a lovely idea. I was thinking of getting a little lentil bean made from gold to be put on a chain as that's what myself and my best friend called him/her.
  • @MamaBish, of course you are welcome! This is a great board, with lots of nice women.

    It's funny that everyone is discussing plants -- I've never been able to keep a plant alive, and someone gave my husband a houseplant quite a while ago. Neither of us was really taking care of it, and right after I miscarried, I noticed what terrible shape it was in. I guess I must have had a desperate need to care for something because I repotted it, bought a stand for it and have been tending to it daily ever since. It feels good to see it thriving.
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15
      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)

    BFP 2/16/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks 
    •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)

    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.

    BFP 9/24/18  • 
    CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













  • @MamaBish, I'm so sorry for your loss. Early or late term, grief is grief. I will pray for healing and comfort as you work through the pain.

    Do you have a counselor or have you ever been to a grief support group?

    FreeButterfly70
  • @MamaBish, I'm so sorry for your loss. Early or late term, grief is grief. I will pray for healing and comfort as you work through the pain.


    Do you have a counselor or have you ever been to a grief support group?

    FreeButterfly70
    Yes, we see a therapist about once a week, which is helpful in letting me know I'm not crazy. The grief support group only meets once every other month so we haven't been to that yet, but hopefully it helps.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    🌈  Preemie 2016  🌈
    ♥ Stillborn 2015 
            
  • I'm so sorry for your loss.  Thinking of how you must feel at this time brings tears to my eyes.  Of corse you would be welcomed on these boards, as far as I'm concerned the heading "Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss" totally applies to you as well.  
    BFP 03/02/15 // EDD 11/11/15 // MC 04/15/15
    If your a bird, I'm a bird.
  • I'm so sorry for your loss. You are more than welcomed here. I have a close friend that had a late loss in October. She said the exact same thing, "a loss is a loss." I pray for healing and strength for you over the coming months!!
  • @MamaBish I am so very sorry for your loss, and glad you came to this board. There is nothing but support over here. Xoxoxo
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • @MamaBish thank you for the quote. It is exactly what I needed today!
  • @MamaBish @westiemom22 I screen shotted your quote too, it's a good one x
  • MamaBish said:

    Oh, good to know that you have some solid support. So many people don't take advantage of it. Counseling has been a huge help to me over the years for a lot of situations. I've been in different groups, too. Some are better than others. I've found it depends on the people involved and the dynamics between everyone. If the group you're in doesn't work out, you'll probably be able to find one at a pregnancy center in your area. You can go to optionline.org and put in your zip code to find some. If the description doesn't list grief support you can always call. I used to volunteer at a center, so I know a little about the services you can get there - although not all are the same. There will probably be some caring people there who can at least direct you to some help though. :)       

    FreeButterfly70



    @MamaBish, I'm so sorry for your loss. Early or late term, grief is grief. I will pray for healing and comfort as you work through the pain.

    Do you have a counselor or have you ever been to a grief support group?

    FreeButterfly70


    Yes, we see a therapist about once a week, which is helpful in letting me know I'm not crazy. The grief support group only meets once every other month so we haven't been to that yet, but hopefully it helps.



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