STM with a broken hearted 5yr old

Re: STM with a broken hearted 5yr old

• Rosiethird member

  April 2015

  My oldest was only 2 1/2yrs when I had my second but she used to ask me to put the baby back, or leave it at home when we went out. She adjusted though. Just make sure your son see you treating the baby equally. Like telling the baby to wait a minute, while you do something with him. Just making him feel equally as important will make him feel better. Good luck.
  Oh I avoided making my daughter into a "helper" too. I felt like that might make her resent the baby. Just fun jobs, like picking a toy or book.

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• cpage2211 member

  April 2015

  Poor thing when baby is finally here, make sure to make special time just for you and him. Have someone watch the baby and go for an ice cream, or mini golf or something to assure him he's just as loved.

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• hmcconn member

  April 2015

  Poor kid:). I'm a FTM but my husband and I are both the oldest, and both had trouble adjusting when new sibs came in. The good news is I only know that because of the funny stories our parents tell us about trying to return the baby, or being confused by it - in my memory I've never been anything but super tight with my brothers, and loved having them around. It's both totally natural for him to feel this way, and natural that he will grow out of it and forget about his fears. Tell him you love him, find little ways for him to help welcome and care for the baby, and just wait it out. It'll turn out alright eventually:). 

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• Brieb33 member

  April 2015

  Ugh, I'm so sorry. I feel your pain. I have had so many mixed emotions lately. While I'm so excited to meet my baby boy, my 15 month old has no clue what is about to happen. I got an old baby doll of mine out from my 25 years ago and was just holding it and talking to my son about a baby and baby brother is coming, he wouldn't even come near me. He did not like me holding the baby, or even getting anywhere near it. It breaks my heart, especially because his life is about to completely change and not be the center of our universe anymore. My mom and husband reassure me he would be ok and he will LOVE his sibling. It's just part of life, and it's an adjustment, it will take time, but they will adjust and love that little brother or sister. Good luck to you, and all of us as we figure out how best to make it the easiest transition for our older children!!

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• a316b member

  April 2015

  Baby is 3 days old, my oldest is about to turn 4 and has been the moodiest, clingiest thing. It seems like it will be a rough week/month. My 2.5 yo has been throwing a few more tantrums and likes to randomly hang on me and give me kisses.
  
  If I figure it out, I'll let you know. I'm just going to expect the worst for the next month. [in fact I just had to pause typing this as my daughter had a tantrum because she wants me to hold her like a baby...]
  
  I'm the oldest and I turned out just fine (I think?) I trust my kids will adjust and get over it. ...as heartbreaking and frustrating as it is.
  
  Good luck!

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

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• Bmore112 member

  April 2015

  My daughter acted out when her sister was born. She demanded attention and swore no one loved her anymore because people were coming over to see the baby and not her. My friend suggested to include her in the care. So when a friend came over she had to give 'permission' for them to hold her sister. When we went out and everyonewas asking abouanother baby I would tell them well she is 2 and she is x weeks old.

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• mars8k member

  April 2015

  I'm an FTM but i was around helping my sisters with their kids, my sister's second daughter took it pretty hard when her sister was born, so my sister would make An extra to mAke her feel more special and if she ever asked who she loved more she would say "you" instead of the famous "both of you equally" she also included her in caring for the baby and if she blinked while her sister was around she would say it's because she's excited to see her! Lol and it worked! 5 years later my niece loves being an older sister and is very protective of her lil sis

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• jmorneau09 member

  April 2015 edited April 2015

  Thanks for the feedback. Nice to hear that everyone has or is having experience with this. I knew it would come eventually but was just so taken back by it when it happened.
  @a316b I think you may have it right in that it's just going to be that way for a while.
  Good luck ladies

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• bmgriffith member

  April 2015

  I'm worried about this too. I have an almost 5 year old. She is very excited to meet her baby brother but I worry about how it will be when reality sets in. Especially since I am an only child. Fingers crossed.

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• ekaeb member

  April 2015

  U should have baby bring him a special gift something he really wants!! And when baby dos get here be sure to say hold one baby I'm helping brother!! Or just cuddle him wile u take a nap and have some toons on it worked with my son and soon after was trying to help with baby! But at first he would put blankets on him and try to hide him from me lol

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