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Parenting after 35
mdogan29
member
Another intro :)
mdogan29
member
I finally made it to this board!! I started on TTC after 35 board and then the pregnant after 35 board and today I've finally had time to post on this board -- wow, it's been so hard to get on the computer with a baby - who knew? 
I posted my birth story on the previous board (https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12559929/birth-story-1-month-late-sorry) -- which also took a month for me to do. My son Sebastian will be 6 weeks on Friday, I cannot believe how fast time is flying!
I'm happy to see so many of you from the other boards!
I'm so glad I am finally here... as usual, I'm clueless about how this being a mom thing works! I've been reading some of the posts and I've read a few books... what I'm wondering, is not just how to manage a routine, but how do you create one to begin with? I was reading people put the baby down for naps... what does that mean exactly? I feel like I'm feeding/changing/pumping and then before I can do anything else, it's almost time to start over again... when putting the baby down for a nap -- is that after they BF/have a bottle? I usually try to keep him upright for 10-15 mins, do i put him in his crib and go do other stuff? I just keep him with me all the time... and when do I know that it's time to start doing things like taking him to meet other babies/kids in mommy groups and trying to play with him and things like that? None of the books I have read have mentioned any kind of specific routine, not that I'm trying to keep a rigid schedule or anything, but I feel like the day is over before I've had a chance to do anything and the baby has been with me the whole day... sometimes he snoozes a little in his swing or in my arms if I'm relaxing and watching TV -- does that count? I just want to make sure I'm doing it right and not messing up any kind of sleeping pattern for the future. Maybe I should have started another thread for this?
I posted my birth story on the previous board (https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12559929/birth-story-1-month-late-sorry) -- which also took a month for me to do. My son Sebastian will be 6 weeks on Friday, I cannot believe how fast time is flying!
I'm happy to see so many of you from the other boards!
I'm so glad I am finally here... as usual, I'm clueless about how this being a mom thing works! I've been reading some of the posts and I've read a few books... what I'm wondering, is not just how to manage a routine, but how do you create one to begin with? I was reading people put the baby down for naps... what does that mean exactly? I feel like I'm feeding/changing/pumping and then before I can do anything else, it's almost time to start over again... when putting the baby down for a nap -- is that after they BF/have a bottle? I usually try to keep him upright for 10-15 mins, do i put him in his crib and go do other stuff? I just keep him with me all the time... and when do I know that it's time to start doing things like taking him to meet other babies/kids in mommy groups and trying to play with him and things like that? None of the books I have read have mentioned any kind of specific routine, not that I'm trying to keep a rigid schedule or anything, but I feel like the day is over before I've had a chance to do anything and the baby has been with me the whole day... sometimes he snoozes a little in his swing or in my arms if I'm relaxing and watching TV -- does that count? I just want to make sure I'm doing it right and not messing up any kind of sleeping pattern for the future. Maybe I should have started another thread for this?
----
ME: 40, DH: 44, stopped BCPS 1/2013, TTC #1 2/2013, AMH 0.4, started acupuncture: 7/2013,
BFP: 10/07/2013; MC 10/15/2013 @ 7 wks (natural), focused on health issues for 7 months.
TTC again: 6/2014, 2nd round Letrozole, BFP 7/7/2014!!! --- EDD 3/18/2015!!! DS born 3/13/2015
ME: 40, DH: 44, stopped BCPS 1/2013, TTC #1 2/2013, AMH 0.4, started acupuncture: 7/2013,
BFP: 10/07/2013; MC 10/15/2013 @ 7 wks (natural), focused on health issues for 7 months.
TTC again: 6/2014, 2nd round Letrozole, BFP 7/7/2014!!! --- EDD 3/18/2015!!! DS born 3/13/2015
Re: Another intro :)
We have no day time schedule or routine. I just try to time my long trips or trips to the store around her sleepiness. We are always out and about so I didn't even try to make time for naps. When we are home I let her decide when she wants to go to bed.
Now at night we do have a schedule. And lord help us if we are out past 7 at the latest. She is ready for bed sometimes around 5:30p. Which makes for an interesting time at Wed night church.
You'll find your niche. Just enjoy him being little.
In the beginning you really don't need to worry about coming up with a strict routine. Right now you just need to go with the flow. Do what you need to do, you will figure out over time what works and what doesn't. Your baby will sleep when he needs to sleep and eat when he needs to eat. And yes, for awhile it's going to feel like you just finished this routine and it's time to start all over. As he gets older you'll have longer stretches between feedings and naps.
The idea that you are supposed to put your baby on some kind of strict schedule to mold him/her into a perfect sleeper is simply not good. Right now your job is to meet his needs and he will let you know what those needs are. Don't even think about "sleep training." Put it out of your head. As he gets older and sleeps less you will figure out what works best for nap times. Right now don't even sweat it.
As far as staying with you and exposure to other people/kids/babies, do what works for you! You don't want to expose him to anyone who is sick but it's never too early for socialization. If you are able to get out and about with him go for it. If it's too hard, don't feel guilty staying home. And don't feel like it's a bad thing having him with you all the time, this is your time to love on your baby and it goes so fast. Enjoy this time together.
If you need to put him down to get things done a swing or bouncy seat are great options so he can stay in the same room with you. I put my daughter down for naps in her Moses basket in the beginning so I could have her with me, then switched to her crib at about a month. But she was a great sleeper from the beginning. See what works for you and what you feel comfortable with.
Instead of looking at it as molding your son into the correct baby and worrying that you will screw it up, try to look at it this way- you are getting to know your son. He is who he is and he already has his own needs and there is no one correct way to do things. You just have to find your groove together. Deep breath and enjoy that beautiful baby!
ME: 40, DH: 44, stopped BCPS 1/2013, TTC #1 2/2013, AMH 0.4, started acupuncture: 7/2013,
BFP: 10/07/2013; MC 10/15/2013 @ 7 wks (natural), focused on health issues for 7 months.
TTC again: 6/2014, 2nd round Letrozole, BFP 7/7/2014!!! --- EDD 3/18/2015!!! DS born 3/13/2015
We're nowhere near having a routine either. DS sleeps almost all the time still. I read that sleep varies a lot among newborns and it's all normal.
We've been going to the park once a week and that's about it. I find it quite stressful still to go out because of DS's fussiness. He's mellowing down now though, do we might go out more.
For play, DS's current favorite 'toy' is the dark colored ceiling fan in the bedroom. He 'plays' with it by trying to bat at it for 10-15 minutes. He likes tummy time too. And he likes being talked to and carried around, especially by his dad. We tried giving him a rattle, but he won't hold it yet. DS's world is really simple right now.