Better Sleep with Co-Sleeping? — The Bump
Attachment Parenting

Better Sleep with Co-Sleeping?

Hey there - I do not frequent this board, but I wanted to get your opinions on this...Thanks for reading and any thoughts!! 

I'm bfing DS (almost 6mos), and since we came home from the hospital, he's never slept well on his own past 5am, so I take him back to bed, side-lie and nurse him till DD wakes up. I'm usually very "safe sleep" and "no bed sharing" and all that, but DS is rapidly changing my opinions, haha. I put him down in his pack n' play (in my room) at 9pm, and he's usually good till at least midnight. But after that, he's up every 2-3 hours. DD is 18mos, and I'm exhausted. Something has to change, and I'm open to just about anything. Soooo....have you all found that LO sleeps better when you bed-share? Do they wake up less often? (I mean any waking, even just to snack quick. My back KILLS with side-lying, so that's not really an option for me for more than an hour or two. If he needs to eat, I have to sit up.) I need this kid to sleep longer, and I feel desperate. I just don't know if he's actually hungry, or if he just wants to be by me. If all he wants is closeness to Mom, I think I can work with that and accommodate at least a little if it means more sleep! Any thoughts? Thanks!!

Re: Better Sleep with Co-Sleeping?

  • yes, you should definitely sleep better! that is a major reason why people choose to cosleep. you have to make sure that you have a safe sleep environment set up, though. always keep baby cradled next to you (not in between you and your SO), and don't let your toddler sleep next to the newborn. you also need to find a way to make sure the baby can't fall out of the bed- either using a bedrail, having your bed against the wall, or keeping the mattress on the floor.

    here are a few links with guidelines on how to create a safe sleep environment:
    https://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/
    https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/sleep-problems/sleep-safety/cosleeping-safely
    https://www.pinterandmartin.com/user/PDFs/Safe_Sleep_7_leaflet.pdf
    bebe051781
  • He's 6 mo...it's time to sleep train. My DD and the triplets are 16 mo apart. Thank goodness she was well sleep trained. Boys are 10 mo 7.5 mo adjusted and sleep 7:30-6/7. Never have had a baby with me. Sanity saver!


    image
    image

    No periods due to 17 years of ballet and distance running after college.  Zero response to 2 months of Clomid, little response to Letrozole.  IUI left with 9 cysts = too many viable eggs due to age.  On to IVF.  Low dose of all meds still produced 37 mature eggs 12.6.11.  Froze due to overstimulation.  

    FET #1.1 1.22.12 BFN.   FET #1.2 2.22.12=GRACE! (and a vanishing twin).  

    Grace Katherine born 10.25.12 @ 36w6w 6#14oz 19.5".
    FET #1.3 3.2013 BFN FET#1.4 4.2013 BFN. Never tried a fresh transfer.  Let's try, despite 10 still frozen.  
    ER 6.26.13 27 mature eggs, slight overstim. ET   7.1.13 ectopic, FET 2.1  9.10.14   TRIPLETS!!  

    Boys born 3.18.14 @ 29w5d.  Andrew Jack 3#6oz 16", Grant Robert 3#9oz 16", Charles Phillip 3#7oz 17".


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  • Sorry to derail but @HeavenBlessedMom‌ what does it mean to be "7.5 months adjusted?" I've seen that a lot recently.
  • Sure...the trips were born 29.5 wks. Trip term is 32 wks but since babies born this early require extra time to develop to where a term baby of 40 wks is born, they have an actual age ie 10 mos and an adjusted age ie 7.5 mos.


    image
    image

    No periods due to 17 years of ballet and distance running after college.  Zero response to 2 months of Clomid, little response to Letrozole.  IUI left with 9 cysts = too many viable eggs due to age.  On to IVF.  Low dose of all meds still produced 37 mature eggs 12.6.11.  Froze due to overstimulation.  

    FET #1.1 1.22.12 BFN.   FET #1.2 2.22.12=GRACE! (and a vanishing twin).  

    Grace Katherine born 10.25.12 @ 36w6w 6#14oz 19.5".
    FET #1.3 3.2013 BFN FET#1.4 4.2013 BFN. Never tried a fresh transfer.  Let's try, despite 10 still frozen.  
    ER 6.26.13 27 mature eggs, slight overstim. ET   7.1.13 ectopic, FET 2.1  9.10.14   TRIPLETS!!  

    Boys born 3.18.14 @ 29w5d.  Andrew Jack 3#6oz 16", Grant Robert 3#9oz 16", Charles Phillip 3#7oz 17".


  • Oh ok, got it. Thanks!
  • Thank you both for the answers, I know everyone has different opinions on this. Thanks for the resources, too! So much of parenting is trial and error...urgh! And not enough sleep.... :-P
  • pixieprincsspixieprincss member
    edited January 2015
    Yes, bedsharing moms do get more sleep per the research of Dr. Kathleen Kendall-Tacket: https://www.uppitysciencechick.com/sleep.html. And, if you follow the rules of safe bedsharing, some researchers believe that it is safer than solo-sleeping because it is anthropologically what breastfeeding moms and babies are meant to do.
    hidingangel82kamilasekowskaWDDCH
  • I bed shared with DS until he was like 10 or 11 months. He was still walking every two hours to eat. Every. Single. Night. Bed sharing helped. He didn't get all worked up when he woke. I didn't get more woken up because I didn't get out of the bed. I went right back to sleep after feeding him. And I loved it.

    Sleep training didn't work with DS. We just had to wait until he was ready to STTN (which was at fourteen months and four days for the first time). And there was no way I was going to let him cry and not go feed him if he was hungry, despite the advice i got. He ate every time he woke. Then went right back to sleep. Also, my father, grandfather, aunt, brother and i all have issues with when we need to eat (my grandpa had to get special permission in the 1930/40s to be allowed to eat during school because of it and the doctor put my dad on watered down thinned out mashed potatoes at like two months because he was literally starving and couldn't get enough food, I get sick instead of hungry- it's how I know it's time to eat, my brother will just shake if he doesn't eat - and for all of us, it comes on all of a sudden), so I assumed DS was like us, or at the very least, didn't want to chance it.
    kamilasekowska
  • We co-slept too, I got a good night's sleep from the time he was 2 months on.  I mean, he still woke to eat in the early morning (like 3 or 4 am), but 7-8 hours straight was pretty good and then after he finished eating in the morning we'd go back to sleep.
    kamilasekowska
  • I started out co-sleeping, but when my dd turned 9 months, she got her own floor bed in her own room. I slept so much better after that! Co-sleeping definitely works for some people, but I just was not getting enough sleep, and I was very uncomfortable.

  • @LilyGR - how did you transition to the floor bed? I can't get DS (10mos) to sleep anywhere but snuggled with one of us.  I have such a hard time sleeping with him, though and would really like tips on transitioning to a floor bed.
    Egg Retrieval - Feb. 2013 -> OHSS.  FET#1 - June 2013(failed). FET#2 - October 2013(success!) Griffin Alistair: 6#10oz 20" long, born 6/19/14 @ 4:04am
    image
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