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Went back to work today

vallericvalleric member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
3 days post miscarriage. Still bleeding, light to moderate cramps. I teach kindergarten and all the kids were so happy to see me. The last week and a half I've only been there a few days. For the few people that asked I just told them I had diarrhea. Only a few people know. My 2 other k team members both know, one is my sister in law. At one point during the day we were at bathroom break and they just started talking about their kids and swim lessons. They both have 2 small children, no miscarriages. I just had to walk away. I can't take happy children talk. My heart is just breaking. I almost cried when I went to pick up the kids this morning, but somehow held it together. Getting back in the routine was good, but now that I'm home there isn't much else I'm thinking about. My husband and I tried for a year. It is just absolutely devastating!
Yesterday we booked a summer cruise. We decided that even though it was a lot of money we needed a vacation and something to look forward to!
It all just seems so surreal. Like it didn't even happen. A week and a half ago I saw the heartbeat. We knew something was wrong. But then it happened and, I don't know. Just needed to put it out there.
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Re: Went back to work today

  • carrieandrcarrieandr member
    @valleric, I'm sorry to hear it took you a year to get pregnant. That would definitely make this profoundly harder. Did you temp and use OPK's? That helped me discover that I ovulate early.

    I'm glad you are planning a vacation. My husband and I are going to Peru next month. We bought the tickets before I got pregnant, but now the timing is perfect. The physical part of this is behind me and it will be so nice for us to relax and have fun together. And it gives me something to look forward to.


    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
    BFP 2/16/18      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks      •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
    BFP 9/24/18  •      CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













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  • westiemom22westiemom22 member
    I'm so sorry you had to go through this. We too planned a trip to Mexico this summer for something to look forward to.
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  • vallericvalleric member
    @CarrieandRoy I tracked and peed on sticks. My husband has low sperm count.
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  • roxyboard8889roxyboard8889 member
    So sorry for your loss. I also went back to the work today.  I've only been there once since the miscarriage begun which was at the very beginning.  I work at child care centre, with 6 infants (12 - 17 months)... Man it's hard, especially being handed a baby that smelt of cigarette smoke. Why. Seeing all the babies and being around them isn't as hard as I thought, what's harder is all my co-workers.  Nobody knows other than my boss.  But they are constantly complaining about their lives, or telling me about their "problems" looking for insight, and all I feel like is saying "I. Don't. Give. A. S#$%" I feel terrible for even thinking but people are getting on my nerves. Like, just stop talking about how shitty things are for you, or how you don't know what to do on your blind date. Argh.  Also trying to sound enthusiastic and happy (even at moments for the babies) is just so utterly difficult.

    I agree with it all feeling surreal, sometimes I forget and then wonder why does my heart feel heavy and then I remember that I'm grieving a loss.  

    Planning a trip sounds like a good idea though, good for you :) I hope your days at work get better!  
    BFP 03/02/15 // EDD 11/11/15 // MC 04/15/15
    If your a bird, I'm a bird.
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  • gapeachrngapeachrn member
    The first day/week back is so hard. I'm glad you made it out semi okay. This is my first week back as well. I decided throwing myself back into work would be better than sitting around being miserable alone. It will get better.

    I hope y'all picked somewhere fun for vacay. We decided to do some fun things this summer as well. Have some me time and not stress about what's next!
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  • vallericvalleric member
    We love cruising so we're going on a 8 day to San Juan, grand Turk, st kitts, and st Maarten
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