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Dr. Has scheduled my repeat c/s for same day as kindergarten graduation.

lestes1121lestes1121 member
edited April 2015 in May 2015 Moms
I'm kinda upset and just need to get these feelings off my chest. My doctor has finally set a date for my section which is for the 8 th of May but it's the same day as my first born daughters kindergarten graduation. I don't want to her first memory of her sister to be that mommy couldn't come to my stuff bc of sister. The doc originally wanted to do it on the 7th but I begged him to wait until after her program which starts at 9. So he told me he would put me down for 12 o'clock that Day. Well that's good and all but I live 1 hour and 15 minutes away from the hospital so I know it's still impossible for me to make it to her graduation. It's a whole preschool program so her class goes last and the 3 yr goes first with 4 yr in The middle. He told me we just couldn't chance waiting any longer bc I've had bp issues. And I'll be 38 weeks and 2 days the day he has scheduled. I can't be mad at my doctor for wanting her to not stay in over the weekend bc if something were to happen I would never forgive myself. Im just upset that I can't be two places at once. I've battled this whole pregnancy to keep her in bc of my history. My first child I went in labor at 33 wks and we were able to keep her in until 36. So with this one I started taking progesterone shots at 16 weeks and it has helped with the exception of again going in labor at 33 wks am I was put on bed rest. That with the battle of bp issues has not made this pregnancy easy so I'm thankful we can make it to 38 weeks just wish doctors worked on willingly Saturdays sometimes. I am not by any means trying to make her get here earlier than needed. Just needed to get these feelings off my chest. I have cried and cried and cried since he told me and i will still be an emotional wreck. I just don't want my oldest to think I'm forgetting about her.
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Re: Dr. Has scheduled my repeat c/s for same day as kindergarten graduation.

  • stark01938209stark01938209 member
    edited April 2015
    What happens if you're late to your csection? Other than throwing the doc's day off? May not be super considerate- but I don't think an hour or two is going to matter- unless you're in labor.
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  • lestes1121lestes1121 member
    I'm not sure. I don't want to loose the slot. I wish I could be the type that could show up late but being a nurse myself I just couldn't do that to him. I was scared this was going to happen when I first found out I was expecting but it will be ok. I'm asking all my family to go to her graduation and I'm going to the hospital by myself. By the time I get out of recovery they will all be there. My hubby is going to the graduation so at least she will have her daddy there. The baby won't remember whose there or not so it will all work out I guess. Doctor did say if my bp was up at next appointment we would take her. I'm not saying I wish my bp will be up but I'm not saying it would be a bad thing either.
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  • lola2beelola2bee member
    Maybe you can schedule a special day with your girl after - just you two!!
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  • katielyn1katielyn1 member
    I feel bad for you. That's a tough spot to be in. Maybe if you prepare your daughter for you not being there it won't be as hard on her as if you just spring it on her last minute. A sort of similar situation just happened in my family . My brother and sis in law left for a missions trip the day of my nephews kg graduation. They prepared him for it and celebrated his graduation a week early and had other family there so he was ok with it. Just an idea!

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  • lestes1121lestes1121 member
    As soon as I picked her up today I started talking to her about it. It's going to help that I'm asking all family to attend her graduation first and to wait to come to the hospital. I'm really not scared to do it by myself. I'm actually going to ask a friend of mine to come just in case something goes wrong with the delivery I'll have someone that can communicate to others. My husband is fine with going to her graduation in stead of being with me. I hate he is going to miss it but he still may make it in time. I just know I'll have to be there earlier than 12 to Let them start the iv and all. I just keep telling myself everything will be fine. I'm trying to hold myself together in front of my daughter I don't want her to be sad because I'm sad I'm trying to act happy about it so my daughter doesn't realize it's a sad thing. I'm trying to get her to see its a one of a kind graduation present. It's helping being able to talk through it though. Thank yal all for taking time to read and comment.
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  • lestes1121lestes1121 member
    As soon as I picked her up today I started talking to her about it. It's going to help that I'm asking all family to attend her graduation first and to wait to come to the hospital. I'm really not scared to do it by myself. I'm actually going to ask a friend of mine to come just in case something goes wrong with the delivery I'll have someone that can communicate to others. My husband is fine with going to her graduation in stead of being with me. I hate he is going to miss it but he still may make it in time. I just know I'll have to be there earlier than 12 to Let them start the iv and all. I just keep telling myself everything will be fine. I'm trying to hold myself together in front of my daughter I don't want her to be sad because I'm sad I'm trying to act happy about it so my daughter doesn't realize it's a sad thing. I'm trying to get her to see its a one of a kind graduation present. It's helping being able to talk through it though. Thank yal all for taking time to read and comment.
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  • lestes1121lestes1121 member
    As soon as I picked her up today I started talking to her about it. It's going to help that I'm asking all family to attend her graduation first and to wait to come to the hospital. I'm really not scared to do it by myself. I'm actually going to ask a friend of mine to come just in case something goes wrong with the delivery I'll have someone that can communicate to others. My husband is fine with going to her graduation in stead of being with me. I hate he is going to miss it but he still may make it in time. I just know I'll have to be there earlier than 12 to Let them start the iv and all. I just keep telling myself everything will be fine. I'm trying to hold myself together in front of my daughter I don't want her to be sad because I'm sad I'm trying to act happy about it so my daughter doesn't realize it's a sad thing. I'm trying to get her to see its a one of a kind graduation present. It's helping being able to talk through it though. Thank yal all for taking time to read and comment.
    Report Reply
  • lestes1121lestes1121 member
    As soon as I picked her up today I started talking to her about it. It's going to help that I'm asking all family to attend her graduation first and to wait to come to the hospital. I'm really not scared to do it by myself. I'm actually going to ask a friend of mine to come just in case something goes wrong with the delivery I'll have someone that can communicate to others. My husband is fine with going to her graduation in stead of being with me. I hate he is going to miss it but he still may make it in time. I just know I'll have to be there earlier than 12 to Let them start the iv and all. I just keep telling myself everything will be fine. I'm trying to hold myself together in front of my daughter I don't want her to be sad because I'm sad I'm trying to act happy about it so my daughter doesn't realize it's a sad thing. I'm trying to get her to see its a one of a kind graduation present. It's helping being able to talk through it though. Thank yal all for taking time to read and comment.
    Report Reply
  • SmrBrd2012SmrBrd2012 member
    robynjeannette said:

    But honestly... Why do we celebrate graduating kindergarten anyway?

    I really don't even remember my kindergarten graduation, if I even had one.

    As long as you are talking to her about it beforehand and she knows what to expect, I think it'll be fine. Coming up with another idea like the spa day is a nice gesture to let her know that she is important too. Sometimes these things happen.
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  • lestes1121lestes1121 member
    Her school doesn't do a whole "graduation" ceremony it's an end of the year program more or less bc they are not in caps and gowns. I don't know if the emotions I'm feeling is due to the lack of my mother being present in my life. My mother left me with my father when I was around 10. She took my older 2 siblings and left me behind so I've really done everything I could to be there for my daughter so I would be a great mom for her. I've always been to her events and tried to do with her as much as I could. And just knowing this is a big milestone and I'm not going to be there upsets me. I realize I might be more upset than she is and she may/may not every even remember it but at the moment it's just weighing on me heavy.
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  • BabyBelleCzBabyBelleCz member
    Demand it be something that works for you.  You have way more right than you think. 
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  • BabyBelleCzBabyBelleCz member
    The likelihood of something bad happening over the weekend is small. If it does happen, you could go to the hospital and have your baby with someone else. Of course this is unlikely, but it might be worth taking the chance in order to have peace about your decision.
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  • icajesica82icajesica82 member
    Could you possibly facetime or skype during it this way she knows you were watching?  then you could plan a time to go celebrate with her
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    *Lovebugs2012*


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  • sarahandandysarahandandy member
    Why do you have to have the c-section that day? Reschedule for Monday?
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  • 29claan29claan member
    There are always options. Just know what yours are. Perhaps your school can make an accommodation and your child can graduate first. Waiting another 48 hours until Monday may bring less stress to you and your family. I suggest understanding all your options. It's your body, your baby, your family, your c/s appointment. I would work to minimize the stress and be sure you have the support system you need at the hospital. Good luck!
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  • lestes1121lestes1121 member
    He won't let me go any further because of blood pressure issues. I'm having dopplers done on my placenta weekly and he says the closer to 39 weeks we get more drastic changes can happen over night and we can get into risky territory with my placenta not giving the baby what she needs. He was dead set on having it the day before the graduation but then offered to wait until 12 the day of graduation thinking I would have time to make it but it's just not goig to happen.
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  • Mom2enbMom2enb member
    It doesn't matter if it's a graduation or a simple cake and have a good summer party! You are completely entitled to want to be there and feel bad cause you can't! Trust me when you have more than one in school or preschool it gets harder and harder to make it to all the things, so I understand not wanting to miss a second of it! So sorry you're feeling bummed! Have some one film it or take lots of pics and mention it first thing to your daughter when she comes to see the baby so she knows it's still very important to you!
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  • aliciaspinnetaliciaspinnet member
    stark01938209 said:

    What happens if you're late to your csection? Other than throwing the doc's day off? May not be super considerate- but I don't think an hour or two is going to matter- unless you're in labor.

    Lurking from June, but I really wanted to say - please don't do this. It's not only really disrespectful to your obstetrician and the other staff members involved but it is also very disrespectful to other patients who are scheduled for later on that day. Do you think the obstetrician has no other work scheduled for that day? You wouldn't show up several hours late for a meeting with your accountant or bank manager and expect to be accommodated right? So why would you do that for a scheduled surgery?
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  • lestes1121lestes1121 member
    aliciaspinnet said:

    stark01938209 said:

    What happens if you're late to your csection? Other than throwing the doc's day off? May not be super considerate- but I don't think an hour or two is going to matter- unless you're in labor.

    Lurking from June, but I really wanted to say - please don't do this. It's not only really disrespectful to your obstetrician and the other staff members involved but it is also very disrespectful to other patients who are scheduled for later on that day. Do you think the obstetrician has no other work scheduled for that day? You wouldn't show up several hours late for a meeting with your accountant or bank manager and expect to be accommodated right? So why would you do that for a scheduled surgery?
    I was not planning on it. At first I thought I could go to the graduation and still make it but I've decided to not even try it as I might be late to the hospital and that's the last thing I want so I'm just going to go to the hospital that morning so I don't risk being late. I considering going back to the doctors original plan of the day before graduation so my baby won't think I'm choosing to miss her graduation to have the baby and that way at least my husband can make it to both. And the sooner I have it done the sooner I can be home with both of my girls and loving them both.

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  • lestes1121lestes1121 member
    Mom2enb said:

    It doesn't matter if it's a graduation or a simple cake and have a good summer party! You are completely entitled to want to be there and feel bad cause you can't! Trust me when you have more than one in school or preschool it gets harder and harder to make it to all the things, so I understand not wanting to miss a second of it! So sorry you're feeling bummed! Have some one film it or take lots of pics and mention it first thing to your daughter when she comes to see the baby so she knows it's still very important to you!</blockquote

    Thank you for understanding. I appreciate your support.

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  • kristaelaine86kristaelaine86 member
    edited April 2015
    I know it's tough , Mom to mom, I sympathize completely.. my son has a super important hockey tournament the weekend I'm due which is too far from the hospital for me to attend, and my youngest daughter has her first ever ballet show that I will likely have to miss. However I'm going to play devils advocate here and say that in this case the baby's birth and your health is priority ( and should be for DH too IMO, he will likely regret not being there). I would just have her miss out if it were me, and I think the spa day is a great idea. She likely won't remember or care anyway. You probably feel more upset than she does..:) I had to miss quite a few things with my other two kids when our third was born , including my oldest a birthday because they are a day apart! They understood, got over it and I swear they don't hold t against me or their sister !:) I hope you can work something out.
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  • RosiethirdRosiethird member
    Just wondering, since your daughter seems happy to have a mummy's day with you, when you all look back in 10-20 years don't you think your husband will regret missing the birth of a child over a kindergarten graduation? It's a tough situation, and I know you're trying to do right by your first born, but what about the new baby? It will need equal priority in your lives from the moment it's born and shouldn't the father be present during that moment?

    Perhaps your idea of moving it back a day is better, then both parents are there for the birth and your husband can attend the graduation the next day. Just a thought.
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