Stupid things people say

iheartsippycups2 · April 2015

I am 35 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child. I went through infertility with both- interesting enough, second time around was way longer & harder- even though Dr said it wouldn't be. ANYWAY, pregnancy is hard, it is painful in the end, you are huge, miserable, can't sleep, etc. But I am so incredibly grateful for this second miracle. BUT why the hell whenever I even say "ouch" or "man my back hurts" do my family/friends respond with, "Well you wanted this" or "You paid a lot of money to get pregnant again". WTF does that have to do with anything?! Yes, I chose to get pregnant, and unfortunately had a long hard expensive road to get here, but what, that means I can't say anything negative?! I guess my c-section won't hurt either, or at least I can't say it will. I swear my hormones are all over the place right now, but I seriously want to punch the next person who says that to me.

::vent over::

gsancho · April 2015

I'm sorry they're being hard on you. It's ridiculous to think you can't say a single thing about feeling pain or discomfort during pregnancy just b/c we dealt with IF. There is a lot to be said for knowing your audience - I wouldn't complain about anything to someone still struggling with IF...but that doesn't mean pregnancy is not difficult!

I had a big argument with my aunt about a week ago due to the comments she was leaving on my FB pictures. She kept saying things like, "Looking huge! Wow, So BIG! Ready to pop! Looks like you're eating too much!" - I can take a joke, but I was over it. Plus, I didn't like it being out in public on social media. Then when she learned I was upset about it, she emailed me this BS message about how surprised she was by my reaction. After all, with everything I went through to get pregnant, she would think I'd be happy that I "looked as big as a cow" - exact words. Really?!? She chalked it up to me being vain and ungrateful for what I had.

Just b/c we dealt with IF, doesn't mean we have to take every mean joke in stride or that we have to tolerate every pain and discomfort without acknowledging it.

1220winterbride · April 2015

oh my goodness, People! Those are horrible, ignorant & hurtful things to say to anyone no matter the situation. I say TRY to ignore and really avoid anyone with a history of being a miserable hag...ugh.

lawmom747 · April 2015

I agree about just trying to stay away from the Negative Nellies on this one. This pregnancy (my second also) has been incredibly hard on me. OHSS, two episodes of bleeding due to placenta previa, and activity restrictions. Plus - I'm not a spring chicken anymore so the aches and pains have been multiplied this go round. It was raining here when I woke up this morning and I seriously ached all over. And one of the babies was pushing on spine which was pretty uncomfortable too. I have done my fair share of complaining. But thankfully no one has said anything that rude to me. But give me a few more weeks - when I'm really getting big - then I'm sure the peanut gallery will come to life in my world.

iheartsippycups2 · April 2015

gsancho said:
I'm sorry they're being hard on you. It's ridiculous to think you can't say a single thing about feeling pain or discomfort during pregnancy just b/c we dealt with IF. There is a lot to be said for knowing your audience - I wouldn't complain about anything to someone still struggling with IF...but that doesn't mean pregnancy is not difficult!

I had a big argument with my aunt about a week ago due to the comments she was leaving on my FB pictures. She kept saying things like, "Looking huge! Wow, So BIG! Ready to pop! Looks like you're eating too much!" - I can take a joke, but I was over it. Plus, I didn't like it being out in public on social media. Then when she learned I was upset about it, she emailed me this BS message about how surprised she was by my reaction. After all, with everything I went through to get pregnant, she would think I'd be happy that I "looked as big as a cow" - exact words. Really?!? She chalked it up to me being vain and ungrateful for what I had.

Just b/c we dealt with IF, doesn't mean we have to take every mean joke in stride or that we have to tolerate every pain and discomfort without acknowledging it.

Seriously "big as a cow" - I wouldn't care if I was as big as a million freaking cows, you don't say that to someone. People seriously need to think before they speak!

carrieharry79 · April 2015

I don't know why people need to say things like that. You went through a lot to get pregnant, so in my opinion you have even more right to talk about the aches and pains!! None of us went through all of this for the experience of pregnancy.... we went through this to have children and this is how you have them. Not to fuel your fire, but I am with you. People are dumb.

iheartsippycups2 · April 2015

carrieharry79 said:
None of us went through all of this for the experience of pregnancy.... we went through this to have children and this is how you have them.

agreed!

sailorgal · April 2015

Ugh I'm sorry

Justone13 · April 2015

I can't with the stupidity. Sorry you had idiots say this crap to you.

AmCheri · April 2015

First off, I am sorry you're struggling. The end really, really sucks. You're not alone in your misery! Second, people are just so darned insensitive. Will the effects of IF for us never cease? As if because we worked hard for our babies that we have lost any right to be miserable, or heaven forbid articulate it. I think the reality is just the opposite. We have earned it all. Every pain, every delight, every "first" moment, we earned. And this includes the right to not enjoy every minute of pregnancy which is not for the faint hearted. I think the hard truth is that unless someone has walked the IF road, they cannot understand and will say stupid things no matter how much they love us. It stinks, it's certainly no consolation, but just try to keep in mind that they truly don't get it -- and lucky for them. Hang in there momma!

iheartsippycups2 · April 2015

Thanks everyone. I agree with you. Now, I am trying to enjoy all the good things, every kick, movement, documenting my ever growing belly because this will be my last. Which is bittersweet for me. I went through very long hard roads to get my first son, and now this baby, and thinking of going down that road again is not something I want to do. But that doesn't mean that pregnancy is some walk in the park & because I wanted this child so much I have no right to complain. People are just dumb, simple as that!

Want a personalized experience?

Stupid things people say

Re: Stupid things people say

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Want a personalized experience?

Stupid things people say

Re: Stupid things people say

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motilityIUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFNIVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!