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October 2015 Moms
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Feeling Left Out?

aweebeeaweebee member
edited April 2015 in October 2015 Moms
Anyone else feeling left out?

We're first time parents, and in our major friend circle we're the first baby. I'm just over 15 weeks now. I feel like we haven't been invited to any events that happen after dark since we broke the news to friends. Despite plenty of events happening! I'm pregnant not dead!

Any other mamas feeling this way? How do you deal with it?
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Re: Feeling Left Out?

  • polkadotteddaisiespolkadotteddaisies member
    Try initiating plans to let them know you still want to hang out!
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  • justyhjustyh member
    I feel left out with my friends because I have been working so much, feeling left out with my fam because of work and spending my free time sleeping, and I feel so disconnected with my bf. I'm so depressed. Idk how to deal
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  • kayceetomasitakayceetomasita member
    I would make a joke about knowing who the designated driver will be.
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  • nycmommy13nycmommy13 member
    I'm in the same boat. I live in NYC where very few people my age have kids. Most of them just assume being pregnant and/or having kids means your social life is dead. If you initiate the planning of going out, they'll get to see that you can still have fun when you're pregnant. They might also assume it wouldn't be any fun for you if you can't drink.
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  • rahrah82rahrah82 member
    edited April 2015
    I'm not feeling left out because my husband and I get invited to several different things, but people act like they have to point out that I'm pregnant and can't have anything alcoholic to drink.  Somehow they must think I'm missing something and it was a little annoying to have someone keep announcing to complete strangers at a party that I was pregnant. They gave me water in a wine glass so I wouldn't feel "left out", but I just laughed it off.  It's normal for people to act like you can't do anything because you're pregnant, but sometimes it's up to us to let them know we are pregnant and not dead!

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  • millereliz13millereliz13 member
    I feel left out because of my gestational diabetes. I feel so restricted on what I'm allowed to eat and they all want to do things like Dairy Queen, which I can't eat anything on their menu. So, yeah, I feel left out too.
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  • meghaabhilashmeghaabhilash member
    i feel a bit disconnected too :(
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  • slm2015slm2015 member
    It happens in these types of groups. Your not dead but you are not supposed to stay out late party and be a flamboyant couple. Your soon to be parents who d hould be focused on your baby rather than those gatherings you feel your missing out on. If your "friends" bail on you, find new "family" couples with kids. I have learned there are just some things more important when pregnant and having a family. Thanks.
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  • michellelynn6michellelynn6 member
    I have not felt very social since becoming pregnant -- I'm in a book club at my work, as well as an ethnic dinner night group. I've skipped a lot of activities because I just get so tired! I can't imagine going out. By 3pm everyday, I'm ready for a nap. (I should mention... I live about a 40 minute drive from my work, whereas all my coworkers live in the area, so staying at work means getting home even later for me and I can't just drive home and then back.) I wouldn't take it too personally. If they've had babies before, they might assume you're just exhausted and don't want to bother you. Maybe talk to someone in the group and see when they're going out next and ask if you can join. They might just be assuming you aren't up for it! 
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  • JennyNYC85JennyNYC85 member
    Me too.  People feel obligated to cater to me which generally means I don't even get an invite, either due to drinking/diet restrictions or me being too tired (which is somewhat fair).  Ha we should all just get together.
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  • jenspeakejenspeake member
    I feel the same as @michellelynn6 and I get pretty tired these days easily.  But can make myself hang if I need or want to!  You just have to open the communication.  If they don't know then there's nothing they can do about it.  Just say "hey next time you guys go out let us know!  I need to get out or I would like to see everyone!"  Initiate a few outings yourself!  My hubby loves going out now because he has a guaranteed DD!
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  • plumpousplumpous member
    Hmm that sucks. My friends at work are all young and single and they totally include me and don't even mind me not drinking. Not even before they knew. I guess everyone's different.
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  • kelsojohnsokelsojohnso member
    I feel ya! I didn't receive an invite to a yearly tubing and camping weekend... I'm. Not bringing it up, but they could have at least extended the invite
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  • aweebeeaweebee member
    I think that's just it. I feel that people should at least extend the invite, and let me decide if I'm up for it instead of assuming I'm not! It feels so much worse being deliberately excluded. I wouldn't exclude someone else if the tables were turned, I think that's why I'm having such a hard time with it.
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