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September 2015 Moms
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Not Feeling Great & Tired of People Telling me Enjoy the Pregnancy

hallanfamilyhallanfamily member
in September 2015 Moms
Hey everyone-
Look I am estatic to be pregnant! I thank God as often as I can and ask Him to protect my baby. I am so blessed!

But I feel horrible! Sure the second trimester brought a little of my energy back. But I've been swollen in my feet, ankles and legs since about week 8. I'm tired (and yes I work 3 jobs), I'm not a very good wife or teacher or anything right now. And I keep telling myself- I'm one day closer to holding my baby boy. I wouldn't change a thing...

Except all of the women who tell me I should just enjoy my pregnancy!!! And how much they loved being pregnant! Already people are trying to make me feel badly. Anyone else in my shoes??
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Re: Not Feeling Great & Tired of People Telling me Enjoy the Pregnancy

  • trinijenibtrinijenib member
    I know that one all too well! Hang in there and don't make anyone make U feel bad!
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  • conchispititaconchispitita member
    I knew a lady growing up who always said she loves children but hates being pregnant. She had seven kids. Now that I'm pregnant myself I understand because I don't enjoy misery either. The baby makes it worth it. Now if you said you hated your kid then maybe some guilt it warranted...
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  • BeachBabe22BeachBabe22 member
    I threw up all day for ten weeks with my daughter and it was awful. I was teaching at the time and my husband was in Afghanistan. It wasn't a great situation but once I started to feel better i enjoyed being pregnant. There were definitely parts of it that I didn't like but I tried to focus on the enjoyable parts. Once my daughter was born I found myself missing being pregnant. Even though there were parts that I hated I missed her in my belly and feeling her move. When you're pregnant it seems like the time goes by so slowly but it really does fly by and then it's over. I know people who had very easy pregnancies but hated it and others who were extremely sick the entire time but loved being pregnant. Every one is different and has a different outlook on their pregnancy but just try and enjoy the fun parts before it's over.
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  • theglitteredpterodactyltheglitteredpterodactyl member
    ^^ this. My friend has a one year old and I remember she was such a miserable grump about being pregnant, lol. I say that lovingly, and she totally owned it, but she just wasn't that gushy, sunshine and bubbles type of happy about being pregnant. Now that I'm going through it we talk a lot and it's so nice having a friend who is like "yeah parts of it are really crummy but you get an awesome baby" especially since my mom is the "ladeedah I floated on glitter clouds for nine months" type of person.

    Anyway my friend looks back fondly and when we talk about how I can feel the baby, she does a really good job of remembering the fun stuff. So I say it's totally fine to not be over the moon about the experience itself, especially because it can be rough. I've enjoyed a lot of it but there are days where I'm just facelessness on the couch because growing a baby is exhausting work!! Try and find your own way to connect with the bits of pregnancy that are worth savouring and just take it easy on yourself for the rest of it :-)
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  • WDDCHWDDCH member
    edited April 2015
    People seem to equate 'feeling miserable' with 'being ungrateful' and that's just not true. I wasn't planning on having another baby, I HATE feeling sick but that doesn't mean I'm not overjoyed. I'm not going to enjoy every moment. Like today: all I want to do is sleep. My hips and sciatic nerve pain hurt so bad I can barely walk when I first stand up. I KNOW it will all be worth my baby girl in the end but I'll whine if I want to in the meantime lol.

    People will try to guilt you all your life. It's your choice to give in to the guilt or ignore them. Not always easy. When I complained about my hips today my husband said "do some yoga" and I wanted to punch him. It made me feel like he was saying my pain is all on me and my fault when I'm working really hard already to stay healthy and active. I decided to just ignore him even though I had an urge to get in a verbal fight.
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  • toderiukttoderiukt member
    edited April 2015
    YES!!!! I finally let out a straight up this is how it is thing on Facebook because of it.

    My first trimester was hell in a handbasket. I said I hated being pregnant, and that I was excited in my own way; I'm not over the moon, overjoyed etc. I have my own non hormonal feelings to deal with over this as well. I also stated that I wanted a completely chill pregnancy, and it not to be made a huge deal. I can't stand to be fussed over and be the center of attention. Uggggh.

    People would get offended, or disappointed when I didn't share in their exuberant excitement. I also had people DEMAND bump pictures, as well as the gender of my baby when I said that the tech was not 100% sure.
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  • hallanfamilyhallanfamily member
    edited April 2015
    TeijaMac: "how my fibromyalgia is majorly flared up, constantly tired, cant do much in a day"

    Ok all of you ladies are making me feel so much better!!! I really was thinking it was just me! Especially cuz
    My husband just thinks I'm being lazy.
    But TeijaMac- I have fibromyalgia too- and it with the swelling makes me feel like a poppable balloon waiting to burst all the time. Any tricks or things to help with your fibromyalgia?

    And thank you thank you all for making me feel human!!!
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  • surprisepkg31surprisepkg31 member
    Amen! High five! Can't a girl just bitch for a bit without getting the unsolicited undermining retort? Lol I'm so with you! I really dislike being pregnant too, this is hard! Not my cup of tea and just cause I say that... does not mean I don't want my precious baby boy inside me and it doesn't mean I'm being disrespectful to anyone who might get offended by us saying that. I will totally admit that this is not my best moment. I am a total weenie when it comes to being pregnant! and I resent the women who judge or some how think they have the right to tell you how you should feel, be, act, amd what you should be capable of. It's starting to get super annoying. I just want to tell someone how I feel without getting some kind of, "well, try harder, be grateful, don't be silly, really?," responses. I just need a listener a hug and a I hope it gets better.
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  • bouncypigeonbouncypigeon member
    I'm busy making voodoo dolls of the ladies who have told me how much they LOVED being pregnant!! Ok, joking. But I've found complaining less is an easier way to go if you don't want as much of other people's commentary. I just say I'm feeling fine when asked and save the complaining for a select few lucky people.
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  • ForeverEverAfterForeverEverAfter member
    My first pregnancy I was so thankful everyday I was still pregnant, and everytime I threw up I thought it was still worth it. This time I'm still happy and grateful, but also whiny and grouchy and tired.

    One of my coworkers just worked her last 12h shift at 38w (in a busy ER) and was floating on air. She and other coworkers keep saying that pregnancy is not a disease-whenever anyone comments that they're surprised she worked so long. But for me it's a disease!! I'm 18w, and can't make it through a day without throwing up or falling asleep from my meds. Plus back pain. And with #1 I had sciatica, heart palpitation and PUPPPS in 3rd tri, so it might not get any better. I just hope they aren't comparing us behind my back, because there's no way I'm working til 38w at this rate!
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  • BubbaJones85BubbaJones85 member
    @hallanfamily I'm totally with you. I started to feel better then work is so stressful I'm tired, I get home I'm tired. Then I was so stressed I felt like I was going to pass out from all the running about, attempting to teach, being at home. To be told "sit down, drink lots and relax" - jeez that's helpful and now I've got a virus I can't shake and I just feel crappy all the time.
    I adore being pregnant and can't wait to meet little one, but I'd love to feel myself again!
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  • folc4evernadayfolc4evernaday member
    hallanfamily said:

    Hey everyone-
    Look I am estatic to be pregnant! I thank God as often as I can and ask Him to protect my baby. I am so blessed!

    But I feel horrible! Sure the second trimester brought a little of my energy back. But I've been swollen in my feet, ankles and legs since about week 8. I'm tired (and yes I work 3 jobs), I'm not a very good wife or teacher or anything right now. And I keep telling myself- I'm one day closer to holding my baby boy. I wouldn't change a thing...

    Except all of the women who tell me I should just enjoy my pregnancy!!! And how much they loved being pregnant! Already people are trying to make me feel badly. Anyone else in my shoes??

    Nobody knows how to respond when you ask them how they're doing and get blindsided by the truth. Lol. The parts of pregnancy I love? Hearing the heartbeat and feeling the baby move. The rest I wish I could have someone else handle. Lol. Just try to focus on the good parts and ignore the ignorance.

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  • louiser210591louiser210591 member
    I know how you feel! Since I found out I was pregnant I've had nothing but problems. I had the flu, then morning sickness, water infection, I have hypertension now and for the past two weeks I've been on antibiotics and steroid spray for my sinuses. I still feel sick, my feel swell a bit and I get tired and back ache, but like people say it's just part of prgnancy but it does make you fed up x
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  • PlainJane8350PlainJane8350 member
    I had a miscarriage, so I was a nervous wreck early on and it really bothered me when people would tell me to "relax and enjoy it!"
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  • ldevierldevier member
    Ugh! Amen! I had a miscarriage and became pregnant again soon after. Honestly, I feel so miserable I would think I was dying if I didn't know I was pregnant. First trimester was serious morning sickness. The second has brought on daily sinus headaches that I can hardly manage. I work with a guy who has been trying to get pregnant with his wife for years and I have no room to complain there. My Facebook friends tell me how good I look with my belly and how big my butt is getting (like that is a compliment!) I feel like I've gotten so big so fast. Meanwhile I read (and seethe) posts for girls looking for size 2 pants because they are too small for maternity pants or size 3s right now. I know, being pregnant is a blessing and I too thank God for the gift. Hopefully the third trimester can be blissful for us all. 2 more weeks and we'll be on our way out of pregnancy at least:)
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  • SiaraMayoSiaraMayo member
    I feel the same. I work at a Target and not everyone knows I'm pregnant (as I don't feel the need to have it as topic of discussion all the time l, anymore), and we pregnant ladies can't do any heavy lifting (no more than 10 lbs, said my OB), we have a lot of furniture and guests ask for help. I always call people and a lot do a lot of assuming. I hobble around work all day and as I get two 15 minute breaks and a half, I never seem to be rested and count the minutes until I get one. I cry in pain! My back hurts, my legs hurt, my hips hurt, my abdomen has pulled muscles all the time, I can't breathe sometimes and bending over, the worst thing ever. Its been affecting my performance and making me dumb cause its hard to focus on anything but the pain. Ladies always say that they loved being pregnant except my sister! She said it was horrible! I'm sorry you're going through this but hang in there! Lots of us mommies want our little peanuts to hurry up!
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  • toderiukttoderiukt member
    bouncypigeon said:

    I'm busy making voodoo dolls of the ladies who have told me how much they LOVED being pregnant!! Ok, joking. But I've found complaining less is an easier way to go if you don't want as much of other people's commentary. I just say I'm feeling fine when asked and save the complaining for a select few lucky people.

    I wish this worked!! I get these incredibly surprised looks and the "Really, you're fine!?" No... I'm lying. Honestly :-w
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  • lkopydlowski918lkopydlowski918 member
    Amen to your post! I agree 100%. Thank you for writing it. You all made my day! Xo!!
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  • conchispititaconchispitita member
    This blog summarizes everything:

    https://www.scarymommy.com/i-hate-being-pregnant/
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  • barrelocarolbarrelocarol member
    This. How about "Enjoy sleeping now, while you can" ~X( I can't sleep. I don't sleep now. Stop telling me to enjoy something I don't get to do.
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