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August 2015 Moms
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Ocd husband

kristendot2007kristendot2007 member
in August 2015 Moms
Do any of you have a husband with ocd? Like the real deal...I can't be without socks in my house as the floors are contaminated. I can't do laundry because I might contaminate it. I have to take a shower immediately after doing the trash. Most nights he doesn't sleep in our bed because he's too tired to take his 1.5 hr shower. He checks the locks and stove at least 10 times. I'm so scared this will negatively affect our child. My patience is really wearing thin with him lately. He refuses to get help bc he's paranoid he will lose his job. Any advice?
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Re: Ocd husband

  • Miz_LizMiz_Liz member
    Is there a reason he thinks help will impact his job? Dr/patient confidentiality should protect him from them even knowing....and even if they knew, They couldn't fire him for it. Maybe discuss your fears and see if the fact that soon the baby will be here learning from him won't help push him towards help.
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  • kristendot2007kristendot2007 member
    @Miz_Liz he is in security. I also agree with the dr/patient confidentiality but can't seem to convince him. He says they look thoroughly into your personal life in his line of work. Thanks for your reply.
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  • Miz_LizMiz_Liz member
    If he already has the job though, they shouldn't be digging into his life anymore? Isn't that just for the application process? And even if they ran a background check on him yearly, that would not pop up...
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  • kristendot2007kristendot2007 member
    Yes, exactly. He's getting more irrational by the day. I know it's his disease, but it's getting old. He hid his ocd for a long time from me and when it finally showed its ugly head, I was shocked.
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  • Miz_LizMiz_Liz member
    That is really tough! What would he do if you set up an appointment for him with a counselor and told him the day of or day before and said he needs to do this for you and the baby? Or maybe you could find an annonymous support group or help online that he would be more comfortable with as a starting point?
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  • kristendot2007kristendot2007 member
    That's really good advice. I don't think I could get him to a counselor just yet "as medicine is only for crazy people."-if you ask him. But maybe if he could talk to other people who understood (I obviously do not) what he was going through and how they got better, he could see past his denial. thanks! I'm starting an Internet search ASAP.
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  • jemholojemholo member
    edited April 2015
    My father has OCD and anxiety disorder. He has never been properly treated. He sees a psychiatrist for medication, but has always refused to see a psychologist and actually do any of the exercises you're supposed to do to work through the disease. He has honestly just tinkered with medication for 13 years looking for some magic prescription cocktail that will fix everything (with near-disasterous results on more than one occasion). As a result, he is basically non-functional now. He can't work, he can't do basic things that he's known how to do his whole life (e.g., remember how to drive somewhere we've been a hundred times, cook a steak on the grill). It's like having a child around. I honestly don't know how my mother deals with it, because if it were me I would have given up long ago (I know how horrible that sounds, but I don't think you can stay around and enable someone who doesn't want to help themselves).

    So, my advice to you would be up do whatever you can to get him to accept help now before it gets worse. It's also critical to have the psych component along with any medication, though it sounds like your husband may be the opposite of my dad - willing to try the therapy but not the mess. In my experience, you ultimately need both. OCD is not something you am work through without medical help, but with the right treatment it can be managed. I agree with everyone who has said that the stress if a baby will only make things worse (especially if he already has anxiety about keeping his job - I would think another mouth to feed would heighten that). Good luck to you. I'm here if you ever want to vent. I've seen it all and I know how incredibly frustrating it is.
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  • kristendot2007kristendot2007 member
    Thanks @jemholo. I can definitely see how the disease spirals out of control. It is so very frustrating. I'm thinking about taking a weekend away for myself so I don't have to think about germs. Thanks again for your reply, it's nice knowing someone else can understand all this.
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  • FruitysherFruitysher member
    I have the real deal OCD, and let me tell you, he's probably miserable. He doesn't have to feel like that. It's hard to believe, but once you find the right meds, they can work like magic. I mean, within 6 weeks I was mostly symptom free. Paired with a brief stint in counseling, I've been symptom free for 10 years. Any time I can feel myself starting to slide backwards again, I use the strategies I learned in counseling to remind me the fears aren't real and I'm good to go.
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  • Robin910Robin910 member
    Above and beyond what pp have mentioned, if you can't convince him to talk to a counselor/psychologist, you should still go see one yourself. Having a loved one who suffers from a mental illness is incredible tough and hopefully they can help you find ways to cope, especially with a child coming into the picture.
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  • kristendot2007kristendot2007 member
    @Fruitysher thanks so much. It's so comforting to know it can be helped because we are both miserable from it.
    @Robin910 you are completely right. I've been ashamed of this for some time even though it's not my disease. I read the other day that you are only as sick as your secrets. I'm going to try my best to live by this now.
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