Blended Families
MeLove15
member
Am I Wrong - Support from SO after newborn
MeLove15
member
I'm not sure which forum this post belongs in, but I'm wondering if I'm expecting too much from my SO, and if not, how can I get him to understand I need him more.
We do not live together, but he has been coming late nights to spend the night us. His support there has been more just his physical presence - but I have begun expressing so he can help with the feeds. Other than that, I do not have much of his help.
We both have other kids, and while I can barely get a moment to feed my kids, let alone myself, him and his kids are out living their lives as if another child doesn't exist in the family.
Our newborn is constantly feeding, and I'm having a hard time with getting other things done, and feel as though I'm neglecting my older kids. I really wish he would assist me more, either by helping with chores, making dinner or even tending to the baby long enough so I can get a shower without her wailing.
Just last night I was so tired and he didn't bother coming at all, ended up going to a party and I haven't seen him today.
Am I being needy or should he be more supportive?
We do not live together, but he has been coming late nights to spend the night us. His support there has been more just his physical presence - but I have begun expressing so he can help with the feeds. Other than that, I do not have much of his help.
We both have other kids, and while I can barely get a moment to feed my kids, let alone myself, him and his kids are out living their lives as if another child doesn't exist in the family.
Our newborn is constantly feeding, and I'm having a hard time with getting other things done, and feel as though I'm neglecting my older kids. I really wish he would assist me more, either by helping with chores, making dinner or even tending to the baby long enough so I can get a shower without her wailing.
Just last night I was so tired and he didn't bother coming at all, ended up going to a party and I haven't seen him today.
Am I being needy or should he be more supportive?
Re: Am I Wrong - Support from SO after newborn
In your last post you defended this loser and said he was an AWESOME father. His awesomeness continues then. So, he made a baby with you and cannot be bothered to do his share. Just comes by when it's convenient, otherwise leaves you hanging...when there's a party to attend, you get left out. And still-your question is not: what is the next step for me to be able to move on? File for child support? Tell him to go fly a kite? Get an official custody order in place? No - those are not your questions. You ask, if we think you're needy. Are you serious, my dear? You honestly don't see how effed up that is?
Please grab the last shred of self-worth and employ some rational thinking and MOVE ON! AWAY FROM THIS FOOL!
Imo, you need to be prepared to be a single mother and if he jumps on board, it'll be a pleasant surprise.
I don't say that to be mean or judgmental because I have the perfect marriage/parenting relationship... Far from it. I was preparing to be a single parent when my DS was born because (despite my constant defense of him at the time, and I'm sure some oldies here remember), I knew he was not currently being the man I needed. Blessedly, it worked out and we have now been married almost five years.
But you have to be realistic.